I do not know anything about demons, however I have experienced some paranormal activity, starting when I was a child, but my mother taught me that it was just a friendly spirit, not wanting to do any harm and she told me to ignore it. It wasn't until I was a lot older that I found out that her and her siblings had some scary experiences from fooling around with a Ouija board when they were kids. My mom will not tell me about what happened, all she said was that her little brother was possessed, had an exorcism performed, lost most of his vision for a long time but after much praying and getting blessed by a priest he got his eyesight back. My mom has shared many stories of ghosts from her childhood and her cousins and family all attest to this and I have drawn the conclusion from their stories that my grandmother (whom died before I was born) had the ability to communicate with the non-living.
My first experience was when I was 6 years old, eating my cereal at the kitchen table before school. My mom had packed lunches for my brother and I the night before and had set them on the counter that morning, ready to go, as usual. I was just about to take a bite of my cereal and my lunch pale went flying across the room. I was stunned for a few seconds, not knowing what to do or what to think. I then ran to my mom crying and she said not to worry about it and she would explain it all to me later. She then told me it was a spirit who just wanted to get my attention but told me to ignore it because I could make it unhappy since I am living and it is dead and it would be mean to interact with it. So I grew up feeling bad for this thing. Instead of being afraid every time something strange happened - doors opening and closing repetitively, knocking on the walls, loud footsteps running through the room (I could go on) - I felt bad for it because all it wanted was attention but giving it attention would be mean. So I ignored it my entire life in hopes that it would move on and find a way to escape the between (limbo, or being caught between earth and heaven).
In high school, I started getting this odd feeling that someone was following me. This is where I get confused. I am not sure if what I saw was a demon or a spirit because it looked human, but I got this awful feeling that it wanted to kill me. It was this older man, maybe 50s or 60s and he had very broad shoulders - he looked big, but not fat if that makes sense. He wore a black suit and a black top hat and he looked as though he never smiled a day in his life. He was always with me and followed me everywhere. For example, walking down the street I would see him up ahead, like he was waiting for me. I would always catch him out of the corner of my eye and for the first year he would always disappear as soon as I turned and got a glance of him. But over time he just got closer to me and he moved out of my peripheral and into my direct eyesight. I thought I was hallucinating at this time but nonetheless it terrified me.
After 3 years of this getting worse and worse with the paranormal stuff still happening at home, when I was in grade 11, December 27 (I will always remember this day like it was yesterday and I even wrote it down in my diary to keep it on record), I was in my bed just getting ready to fall asleep, but still awake and then I felt the presence of someone in the hallway outside my door. I thought it was my mom coming to ask me a question so I rolled over to look and this man was standing in my doorway, glaring at me. His eyes showed excitement but his face still looking like he has never once smiled. I noticed he was holding a large knife and I instantly tried to scream as realization of what his intentions were set in. I couldn't make a single sound and I couldn't move at all. Pressure was holding my entire body very still and as I was panicking and freaking out on the inside all I could do was watch him.
He walked toward me, steadily and passionately like he was on a mission and once he was standing over-top of me he raised the knife above his head and I was so terrified in this moment, I am crying thinking about it. He stabbed the knife down into my chest and though I felt no blade I felt the impact of his fist slamming against my chest. It felt like a bowling ball was dropped onto my chest. I couldn't breathe for about 10 seconds after that and it felt like my chest was crushed but as soon as I felt impact he disappeared and I was left alone gasping for air. As soon as I took my first breath in I shot up straight and began screaming and crying. My mom ran to me and asked me what was wrong but I told her it was just a nightmare. I couldn't sleep that night, but I never saw the man ever again after that.
So the reason I am posting now? This voice in my head for the past 3 months has been telling me that I have a demon within me that is trying to reach my soul. The voice is advising me to let it in and has demanded that I do so or else it will kill me. It explicitly told me to say to it: "I know you're there. I know you've been with me the entire time. I did not let you have me because I was afraid. I am no longer afraid. I am yours for the taking. Welcome and enjoy." This voice is really scaring me. I am losing my mind. I have no idea what to do or what to think. I never thought my experiences were paranormal but this voice is telling me that my entire life has been a lie and that it was all a demon, trying to find a way inside of me. I don't recognize this voice, it sounds like a man.
Maybe I am delusional, but I just thought I'd ask to see if this is possible. Can demons appear in human figures? Can they speak to you in your head? If not, I am delusional and I will speak to my doctor about this and hopefully get this resolved. But I am just getting this really weird feeling that this voice is from the demon who is trying to get inside of me. It keeps telling me to trust it. I know this sounds crazy and I would never believe anyone to be in the right state of mind if they told me anything like this, but this is happening to me and I don't know anything about this kind of stuff and I'm afraid that it's real.