Please forgive if this account seems disjointed at times-this is the gist of what has happened to me during the last 13 years. During this time, I have experienced various occurrences which I believe all stem from the same source (s?).
I don't think I've heard a story quite like mine yet-I'm unsure of what this entity actually is, but sexual events have occurred. As unbelievable as some of these events may sound, I swear that the following account is entirely true. I don't really care if not everyone believes it, but I sincerely hope that it will at least get the chance to be read!
It all started when I was 12-around this time actually, which is what prompted me to find this site and tell my story. My group of friends decided to do a 'spell' that would supposedly reveal your soul mate in your dreams. It only involved drinking a particular mixture and putting a certain something under your pillow, which seemed harmless enough. It was just for fun-nobody actually believed that it was real, it was just something done on a school girl's whim. I actually ended up doing it a few times, and it didn't even work some of those times.
The first incident occurred one day while daydreaming-this was probably at least a month after doing the 'spell'. I am pretty sure this will be unbelievable to most, and I'm sure I wouldn't believe it either-at the risk of being ridiculed, I will proceed.
In my dream, I dreamt that a vampire was biting my wrist-at that moment, I actually FELT it happen! I immediately woke up to find two puncture wounds in the EXACT same spot. It didn't feel like I was actually being bitten-it was a really strange, indescribable feeling. To me, the most similar feeling would be the recoil felt after using a stapler. The only thing I felt was the feeling of the puncture wounds-no teeth, nothing. The wounds never bled, and they ended up healing after only one day (which is unusually fast for me). I know that I risk not having my story published due to how sensational the above seems, but please know that I include it because of how significant I find it to be. I'm sure that if I chose to omit the above, the rest of my story would be accepted for submission without question... Please keep this in mind!
After that, I started to feel a presence around me. When I went to bed, it felt like something heavy was pressing against my stomach. My dreams didn't feel like my own anymore. Gradually, it started touching me more and more, until the point where it regularly went down on me every night. I thought it was just my imagination at first, but I knew it was real after my underwear started getting ripped in that area (which happened gradually)!
When it touches me, it's a warm, gentle, feeling. Almost like when a part of your body starts to fall asleep, except pleasant, and with your senses retained a warm chill a lingering touch. It has never felt like an actual person was touching me, it never feels that 'real'. After a while, it started taking me out of my body. I would be lying in bed, and it would start putting pressure in the 'third eye' area-eventually I would feel myself come out of my body, and I would see and experience things that seemed real. Not just sex which is one of the reasons I'm not entirely sure what to classify this thing is, but I digress.
Eventually, I would have unprompted out of body experiences during the daytime (alone). They were always short, and triggered only when I had any strong emotions. At this point, I was unsure whether I had multiple entities around me or just one. The experiences I was going through seemed to be conflicting in nature, and I was understandably confused. In 'reality', the entity seemed to be gentle and caring. When I saw it in dreams, the imagery became more and more disturbing, and the thing I saw in there seemed downright malevolent. I'm sure they weren't 'just' dreams, since I would wake up from those 'dreams' being touched or grabbed in the same areas. I didn't have those 'pleasant' assisted out of body experiences anymore. At this time, it would normally happen right before I would wake up, opposed to before when it occurred before I went to sleep. The biggest difference though, was that I didn't have any free will here-it was almost as if I were in a drug induced state, it felt really hazy. I could feel what was happening to me, but I had no control over what I did or said. Most of those dreams entailed something attacking me while I struggled to wake up. The negative energy was overwhelming! I would try to call out, but my lungs would seemingly be paralyzed. It was a horrible feeling.
Those attacks weren't sexual, most of the time. They mainly involved squeezing my head/pushing my face down, plugging my ears, holding me down, and other unpleasantness. The worst part was always the negative energy it was giving off. It seemed so angry and hateful.
Sometimes I would call for God to help me, and nothing would happen. I would try to shout it, but I could only think it. I would try to cast it out in the name of God. If I did manage to say it, nothing would happen! I do remember that it even mocked me a few times. I do admit though, I am not Christian. I do believe in God though. Nonetheless, I surrounded myself with Catholic paraphernalia (rosaries, charms, etc) to no avail. Still, I prayed about it every night.
During the day, I still had those unassisted out of body experiences I mentioned before. Only this time, they lasted longer... I actually had conversations in this state. I didn't realize that until a friend mentioned things I had no recollection of saying. While I was out, it always seemed as short as before. I confided to a few of my friends about what was happening, and the one above mentioned that my eyes did seem different during the conversation.
At this time, I was becoming extremely depressed. I tried getting help on the internet (from so called psychics, and others) but only received conflicting information. I didn't dare tell anyone in real life, save for a few friends who did the same spell I did. None of them had the same experience.
I honestly don't know why, but eventually, the unpleasant attacks described above stopped. I still have unpleasant 'dreams' sometime, but they're not like the above. The ones now mainly involve unpleasant/obscene subject matter that I really wouldn't choose to think about, but at least they don't make me feel afraid or hopeless like the other ones did.
I was always curious about what the entity was (the one that seemed 'good'), but even now, I have never successfully communicated with it. I've tried several things, but it seems to be unresponsive. I don't even know its name, and that's after 13 years! I've only felt its emotions while it was nearby during my unassisted out of body experiences. Sometimes it seemed caring, other times, pretty ruthless.
I think I saw the 'good' one once. During one of my daytime out of body experiences, I saw a bright white, humanoid, form. I was so shocked I felt like I could have had a heart attack, and I never saw its form again.
Throughout 13 years, the 'good' one has always stayed with me. The one that felt warm and gentle. Every night since it came (and even now), it has always hugged me while I fell asleep. During the day, it always holds my hand, touches my hair, gives me a kiss, or does something else non sexual to let its presence be known.
I was a virgin before this started, and I'm still a virgin even now (I'm waiting for marriage). In 'reality' it would only go down on me, but in 'dreams' it went farther. In 'reality', I do get aroused, but it never goes very far. I never feel like my energy is being drained, or that anything else bad is happening to me afterwards. I'll admit that I enjoy it, but I don't enjoy the 'dreams' I've described in more detail previously. The dreams always have perverse elements.
Things were pretty frequent at first, but the frequency went down over the years. Now, something sexual happens probably once a week or less, and it's mainly when I'm dreaming. For this reason, I'm really unsure about what this thing is. I did have a 3 year relationship with someone while it was here, and it never acted any differently during that time.
The other reason I'm unsure is, this one has done a lot of good things for me over the years. I used to get really bad cramps during my period, but for the first little while, I would feel it touching my stomach, and I wouldn't have cramps.
Another notable incident was when I was in my last year of high school, and I had provincial exams the next day. These were serious-they made up around 50% of your mark, and you couldn't pass your course if you didn't pass this test.
Unfortunately for me, I ended up developing a fever the day before my exams! I felt horrible, and I was so worried about what was going to happen. The entire night, I felt it pressing against my head... Like it was drawing something out from me. The next day I was completely fine, and I did great on my exams!
The last notable incident was when I was walking down my stairs. I had an out of body experience while I was still walking, and I was about to fall down the stairs. I felt an arm grab me (while I was out) and I didn't end up falling.
I got pretty sick and tired of all of the confusing things that were happening to me, so about 5 years ago; I decided I would just do my best to ignore it. As a result, it does interact with me less, but it's still here. I also spontaneously go out of my body (by myself) a lot less as well, but it still happens.
I honestly would like to communicate with it at least once, since there are so many things I want to know. I've tried automatic writing, leaving it open letters, talking to it, etc, but it never responds. In dreams, I can't control what I say, and it just tells me conflicting nonsense. Anyone have any ideas, or would it be best not to try?
I really would like some insight on my situation, which is why I decided to share my story here. The main things I'm wondering are why is it still here? What is it? Did all of these experiences just come from one thing, or have I been in contact with many? What should I do? Has anyone else experienced something like this (not just one facet)? If anyone has any thoughts, please let me know!
Oh, and please don't bother commenting if you're just going to say how you don't believe me, how I have an over active imagination, or some other derogatory comment that's common in this category. You're free to believe what you want, but this is my life, and I know what the truth is.