Sending Toward The Light

This occurred last night, March 8th, 2010. If you have read my recent entries about my new trailer, you will understand the background on the place that I have so far. Recently, certain issues have been escalating, including, for a lack of better words, the house seeming to attack us. Yes, I do know how strange that sounds, but it is true. My husband seems problem prone with catching his feet on nearly EVERYTHING in the place, a strange urine smell has invaded half the place, and I started finding rather large sewing needles on the carpets. Plus, the emotional balance of the place has been totally out of whack. We've been fighting non-stop, his obsessive behavior has been the worst I've ever seen and my depression is trying to sink back.

About a week ago, I had a friend spend the evening and she told me the next day, whatever was in the place, had spent the entire night standing in the corner of the room she slept in, staring at her and not happy she was there. She described the same man shape that my hubby saw in the bedroom. Well last night, after another big fight I told the hubby about the pins I've found around the house and how I felt the house was out to get us. He wondered if the spirit in the place was causing all of this and after several minutes thinking came up with a plan.

Now I will state - neither of us are Christians, we are pagans. We hold different beliefs and ways of dealing with things. Also, I am an empath and I can see and hear spirits. The following occurred last night, as much as it sounds like a story concocted for your amusement, I will swear that these events occurred as stated.

We retired to the bedroom and my husband drew a circle around us and summoned the quarters. Then he proceeded to try and draw out the spirit that resided within the place. At this point, I closed my eyes and "looked outward". I knew my husband was facing the mirror in the bathroom, trying to use that as a portal, but I saw someone enter the room via the door. "He's behind you, in the door." I told him.

I felt a shift in the room; like something had come in and really wasn't happy we were addressing it, a thick heavy feeling with an undercurrent of rage. While my hubby attempted to address him, I started to make out some characteristics of the man leaning against the door. He was a black man, well built, with a white shirt and overalls. He had his arms crossed and was clearly not happy with us. Then I felt heaviness come over me and I wasn't able to move - he started to answer. (The following isn't the whole conversation - I can't remember 100% everything that passed between all of us, but this is the gist of it).

Me: This is mine, boy. (I repeated this spirit's answers to my husband - he cannot hear or see spirits. Later he told me it was my voice and at the same time, clearly wasn't.)

Hubby: What's yours? Why are you here? Do you realize that you aren't living anymore?

Me: Of course, boy. I ain't stupid. I'm looking for something.

Hubby: What are you looking for? If you realize you're not alive, do you see a light?

ME: Boy, shut your mouth. I see that light, but I ain't going nowhere. This is mine and I'm looking for something.

Hubby: You need to go toward the light.

Me: Boy, shut it. I ain't going anywhere - THIS is mine.

Hubby: What are you looking for?

At this point the spirit grew quiet, I could feel his confusion. He didn't know what he was looking for and it was very upsetting to him.

Me: I don't know, I'm looking for something and I'm not leaving until I find it. NO!

Hubby: But if you don't know what, then how can you find it?

At this point I started seeing flashes of a young boy running and a woman in a long skirt/apron. I felt a weird rage/sorrow building and knew my hubby hit upon something, but the spirit was resisting. As I stood there, I felt the wall I was leaning against move and flex, which scared me, almost enough to open my eyes. "He's trying to leave, to scare us off."

Hubby: Oh no, you can't leave until you answer my question. What are you looking for?

Now, I felt sorrow and gut-wrenching anguish, I started crying. I saw flashes of this woman and knew he (the spirit) finally was remembering what he was looking for. "He's looking for a woman, his wife I think."

Me: I need to find her, I lost her.

Hubby: Call out to her, if she's here she will answer, but I think she has gone to the light and is waiting for you. Go on, call out to her.

I saw/heard him calling out a name I couldn't understand and felt panic, sorrow and terror build as he called and called. After a few he stopped, but broke down - I was crying and trying not to break down.

Me: I lost her, I can't find her. No, no, no. (This came out slowly, between sobs)

Hubby: If she isn't answering, then she's already gone over to the light and is waiting for you. You need to join her. (I'm still crying, all I can feel is his pain and sorrow - I can see pictures flashing of this woman).

Me: But what if yer wrong, if I go and she's still here... I can't, I have to find her.

Hubby: Trust me, if she hasn't answered, she's moved on to the light. You aren't afraid of the light, are you?

Me: I ain't 'fraid of nothing boy, that light hasn't always been shining.

Hubby: When did it show up?

Me: I can't tell you boy, but it hasn't.

Hubby: Then maybe it is time for you to move on. It's been a long time since you were alive, if you're staying here looking for her and she's already moved on, you are here for nothing. Go toward the light and be with her.

I can see him (the spirit) turn toward the light which is shinning like the sun in the kitchen (and it's blinding).

Me: But if I go and she isn't... (I can feel his confusion, his worry and sorrow - I'm still crying)

Hubby: She's waiting. Go.

I watch the spirit turn back toward us and give my hubby a look, somewhere between hatred and relief.

Me: If you're lying boy, I'll come back and kill you.

Hubby: I'm not. She's moved on and you need to as well.

At this point my hubby is still talking to him, but he's already moved away from the door toward the light. I'm not listening to my hubby anymore but watching the story play through my head of this man's last few minutes of life. I see a young boy, running hell bent away from something. He's screaming and I see the woman from before come out of a shack and look toward the boy. She starts screaming and runs forward. I can hear blood curdling screams and see the man come running from somewhere, screaming something. He rounds the corner of the shack and nothing - pain and darkness.

I see this man standing in front of the light, looking into it, trying to weigh his options. To move on or stay. I call out in my head to go, they aren't here and you need to go. He looks back at me, with the same look as before, but this time I can see he is beginning to believe it. He remembers what happened and knows the truth. After several long painful minutes, he steps forward and the light vanishes. I open my eyes and announce he's moved on. My hubby says something isn't quite right yet and we spend several more minutes just standing there. Slowly, that oppressive feeling lifts and the place feels a lot lighter. Hubby announces he's finally gone, dismisses the quarters and closes the circle.

As soon as it was over, the place felt a lot better, but we were both exhausted - mentally and physically. I explained what I saw and we went for a drive to calm down and relax.

This morning, the place feels better.

I know some of you will understand what happened; others will think I'm full of it. I don't care - I lived it and know what I felt. I haven't done something like that in years, but it wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last before I too pass on. Well, I welcome any comments, even the nay-Sayers and negative; it's all part of the process.