I had my first sleep paralysis when I was 13 in my bedroom at my old house. I was dreaming at first, which I can't remember. I woke up hearing a young boy voice saying "hello nea nea". I tried to move but I only moved like 1mm, then returned the way I were, like I am tied up with rubber. I was laying on my right, then everything went white, then I felt like some one was a top of me and a voice repeated "hello nea nea". Again, everything went white, then I saw a person at my side with the back of his head facing me with a piece of long hair covered with blood on his head. Again a voice repeated. That piece of hair was moving, I was frightened. After I woke up, I could feel my heart beating. It was very weird.
The second time happened in the same place, but a month later. I woke up and I was floating with a old zombie look a like man in my face singing with weird words like "ba du awww" something like that. I could talk, telling it leave me alone, and close my eyes, it lasted like 30 secs or longer. I was very frightened.
The weirdest thing was a week after, I woke up in middle of the night and saw someone who is black with a white suit on and he disappeared. My mum has seen him as well, he woke my mum up by pushing her into the bed, then walked into my room and shouted "get out of jason's room" (she saw many ghost in her past) but I didn't hear her, she must have been asleep again when I woke up. I was scared but I felt I knew that he some kind of an angel.
After that, we moved to a different house, I was 15 at that time. It happened again, with something appearing at my door but I closed my eyes, so instead I felt someone at the top of me, making love, which it was very weird, I am male! After I woke up confused.
A week later again, but this time nothin happened, I only heard the ocean, I thought that I was dying so I said "I don't want to die yet, why now?". After that, I woke up.
Two days later, again, I was facing my blue wall at the left. I saw a face appearing and smiling at me. I didn't feel scared, just cheerful, relaxed. After 30 sec, I woke up feeling happy and never had another one again.
Was it an angel that have stopped demons from attacking me? was it a test for something, or did I made someone or something bored of attacking by closing my eyes? IS it just all in my head? But it can't be in my head since I saw someone at my old house. It's so weird!
If sleep paralysis happens to you, try to close your eyes and think of something like what to do today or something.
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It's sad you have so many addictions. I hope you don't use intravenous drugs, because my friend's brother used to use and when he finally cleaned up he had Hepatitis C. Negative spirits can attack you if you are under the influence because your guard is lowered. I hope you can get some help and definitely work on getting rid of the feelings of guilt about your addictions. Take responsibility for your life because you are the only one who can control it.:)
-Sydney ❤ 😊 ❤