I Gave In

Let me start by saying Happy New Year!

I have had a fairly quiet few months until recently actually until 1st January 2011. Christmas was fantastic. New Year's Eve not quite the way we planned but fun nonetheless.

Where did it start?

It started with a dream I had New Year's Day at 7a.m. When we went to bed

The dream and what happened.

I saw three cats, Smoky being one of them and two dogs. One dog was black the other dog an Alsatian was undoubtedly Roxy. I recognised the wolf mark. Roxy was our family dog pet who died 17 years ago. Smoky jumped on to the window pane and started growling. I went to calm him down. As I was calming him down, I picked up the curtain and saw a black cat and a cute tabby sitting on the grass watching this black dog trying to get in through the window and growling. Roxy, the Alsatian, was sitting on the grass behind the barred fencing and upon seeing me lift the curtain to see why smoky was growling got up and starred directly at me. So that is the dream. Relevance, to my story, I knew I was going to meet my midnight stalker once again.

1st January 2011. I went to bed around 10pm having had only 4 hours sleep. My partner was in his studio sorting out a few bits. I decided I would lie on the couch watch a bit of telly. I asked my partner to come get me when he was ready to go to bed. I was lying on the couch all nice and snug, smoky was lying in his little basket. I was watching unsolved mysterious. The only lights that were shining were the lights on the Christmas tree, a very cosy atmosphere. I had incense burning as well.

I started slowly drifting off to sleep when I heard scratching at the window. My eyes opened and the first thing I did was look to where Smoky was lying, in his basket thinking he may have decided to go out as he always does the night time prowler. Smoky was in his basket asleep so my eyes moved to the direction of the window. I tried to look past the nets to see if I could see anything/anyone outside the window. Seeing nothing I tried to convince myself it was a fox or foxes fighting and throwing each other around.

Making no attempt to get up, I let my eyes look around the room and into the hallway. Fear seemed to be overtaking all the calmness. I started thinking of happy thoughts but could not shift the uneasy feeling. I could sense something was around me at which point I heard heavy breathing. I lay there listening, assuming it was me. I stopped breathing and could still hear the breathing. I don't know how long I lay there listening to this breathing, it always seems an eternity. Smoky got up and jumped onto the window pane and sat there staring at me and then at the door followed by his meow meow, he was scratching at the window wanting to be let out. I called out to Smoky but he was not having it, he wanted to go out. I got up of the sofa ignoring the breathing and let smoky out. I shut the window and quickly lay back down aware that the breathing was almost above my head. I focused on the telly noticing the temperature drop in the room at the same time. It was as if all the windows were open in my place. I felt sick, dizzy, my insides were turning. I tried hard to focus on what was on the telly as hard as it was. The breathing was accompanied by a smell a familiar smell that made me want to throw up. It seemed to waft in from the hallway. In my mind I prayed for protection and for all negativity to leave my home.

I saw myself trying to run from a grey apparition followed by my childhood stalker. The grey apparition tried to grab my shoulder. I turned around and saw the most hideous face. In its attempts to grab me my childhood stalker appeared in between and puff the grey apparition had gone. I found myself face to face with the man who has terrorised me for most of my life. Sharp features, tall, dark and slim. Crying I whispered "leave me alone, please". He stood there staring then proceeded to walk towards me. Walking backwards away from him, I found myself hitting the sofa. I sat down still looking at him as he came closer and closer. The tears like a flowing stream, my heart pounding with nowhere to run. My eyes did not leave his face once. As afraid as I was, I mean this is the man who has been with me since I was 11 years, I stood up and gave him my hand. As he took my hand, I whispered "do as you please".

Seated together on the sofa, his face was but inches away from me. I felt his hand, touch my face. Slowly travel down my neck. The closer he got the more I hurt. It was only when he had my whole body in his embrace, I felt the pain, and cried out for help. Just his touch hurt me. His body seemed to penetrate into mine. A painful experience. My partner came running into the room, He said I was shouting "leave me alone, go away, leave me alone". My partner made sure I was ok before going back to his studio. I did not sleep that night. I lay on the couch watching sky news but thinking of the nights events. More shocked as I thought I had got rid of this man. What shocks me more is I saw two men. Who is the other man?

I have not seen the midnight stalker in I don't know how many months but when he does re-appear his attacks seem to get worse. I woke up with a small burn on my hand. Thinking it was lipstick I sat there trying to rub it off. Funny it hurt as I was writing that sentence. It's almost gone. My arms have three scratches. I have not slept properly since as I can feel and smell he is around me again.