Scared For My Son

You know, being able to write about these experiences I've had in my life is somewhat cathartic. It's difficult to talk about these things with John Q. Public -the average bear who doesn't believe in anything unless they can see it. I found in life that it was just easier to keep it to myself and make sense of it on my own. It's not easy to open yourself up to a criticism of your sanity, your intelligence etc. I'm a professional person and I'm a mother and a wife I just don't feel the need to have anyone look at me like I'm half a bubble off. I know what I know and I've experienced what I've experienced and no one can take that away from me. It's just kind of nice to finally be able to talk about this and be among people who've had paranormal experiences too.

This next story I have to relate to you is about my son. He was a toddler at the time but it sort of goes back to before that time when my son was about 15 months old. He would sit in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by a mountain of toys. I would frequently just kick back and watch him exploring his environment it brought such joy to me. His fascination with everything was a blast to watch. You know when you become an adult you lose a lot of that wonder -it's kind of sad. Anyway, he was playing with something and he abruptly stopped and looked up. I looked up and there was nothing there - not even a light - there was no overhead lighting in the rooms -it was a lamp or nothing. So I couldn't figure out what he was seeing on the boring white ceiling that was so interesting.

Suddenly he burst into this huge grin and he squealed like he was being completely entertained by something and he giggled. I couldn't see anything it was really odd - then he reached out with his chubby little arms to the air - as though he was trying to be picked up by someone I couldn't see. It was very strange. I called out to him and he was completely oblivious to me - whatever or whoever it was came to visit him and he was all theirs for the moment. I'm convinced this was the spirit of someone who'd passed on before that knew our son was here now.

It could have been his grandfather, his great grandmother or any of a few elderly people who were like family to us and passed before our son was born or shortly after. So I considered this and put it in the back of my mind. I knew I'd read somewhere that children can often see things we cannot because they're so innocent. They don't have those blinders on the way we do.

A few months later however, when he turned 18 months old his father walked out on us. It was really very traumatic. My son had never been upset or moody or anything until his dad didn't come home anymore from work. That's when our son began displaying behavior problems and started hurting himself. It was really scary and I didn't know what to do. I'd had this bright, loving energetic little boy in my life for over a year and suddenly he was smacking his head against the wall, screaming and crying. I know this was just pure frustration -not having a vocabulary to tell us how he was feeling didn't make it any easier to witness though.

My ex husband walking out on us, made life very difficult and frightening for a while; it took me about 5 months to get back on my feet and the recovery was hard on my son and me -but mostly on my son. Now he wasn't going to have a stay at home mom to take care of him, now mom had to go back into the work force and he was going to be cared for by some stranger. It really made me sick to my stomach and angry. I was furious about what he was doing to our son. And how he could put his own selfish needs/wants before a child he PRAYED for! He used to wear out a prayer rug on the back porch every night when we were married -begging God for a son. I didn't even know that - until I found out I was pregnant. So to know that he really wanted a child -it was all that much more shocking to me that he'd so easily dump us to take up with some broad he met on his job.

Anyway I left the state for 5 months to stay with my biological family on the eastern side of Iowa. I had to create some kind of battle plan -I had a child to feed and I'm sorry, welfare wasn't an option for me. I suffered to be on it for 5 months and I got off of it as soon as humanly possible. I hated every second of it - I honestly don't know how people can sit on it like that for years on end. WHY would you do that to yourself?

I found a job back in Omaha and moved back to the state in an apartment in South Omaha. It wasn't close to my new job, but it was a start and that's all I needed.

My son and I lived in this apartment building for the next 5 years; 4 years in the upstairs apartment and 1 year in the bottom apartment which was 2 bedrooms. After we'd been in the upstairs apartment for 2 ½ years I met someone that I now regret having met. I thought he was a great guy to begin with, I don't know where my intuition went here! It seemed to have worked fine up until this point but I missed some red flags obviously.

He moved in with us about 8 months into the relationship. He was very good to my son -never a problem there. But he became strange with me and that's when the negativity started in our apartment. One of the things I enjoyed most about this person was the fact that his parents were both church people his mother was an ordained minister and his father had been a bishop in a church before he died. He knew his bible relatively well and I thought that meant he was also going to be a good person. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was finding out he had a recreational drug habit/hobby. I say habit/hobby because he wasn't addicted to drugs; he had a habit of smoking weed not anything else. But he normally kept that sort of thing out of my house.

One night he was home, he'd been out partying with his friends and we were sitting at the table together playing cards. It was late on a Friday, close to 3 o'clock in the morning, and the stereo was playing not too loudly but it was on. His conversation with me turned kind of scary, he started talking to me about darkness and how he felt it followed him wherever he went. He said over the years he'd become more comfortable with it - and he said I would too. And I just looked at him and said that will never happen I'm not a child of darkness anymore and I won't have that sort of thing around me. His face changed ever so slightly and his eyes darkened up, it was really creepy and he said well it's too late because it's already here.

When he said that - my stereo all of a sudden was turned up full blast - there was no one near it - it was 5 feet away from me -in my clear line of vision and there was no way that could have happened. I had to jump up and turn it down. I remember him asking me if I could 'feel it'.

What pushed the whole thing over the edge for me was this weird twisted laugh he had after I turned the stereo off. It didn't even sound like him - it reminded me of a laugh I'd heard years before on the side of a road where my dog died. If you've read my experience with an OUIJA board, you know what I'm talking about. That little 'trick' with my stereo or whatever it was destructive enough to have blown 2 speakers and after this happened I asked him to leave -I didn't like what he brought with him and I didn't want my son exposed to it.

He did move out but afterwards I felt like I was being watched all the time in the apartment. Shadows in the place looked even darker than normal and then my son started having bad experiences. He was only 4 years old and he was seeing something I wasn't seeing in the apartment. He tried to explain it in his 4 year old language but the general idea of what I got from it was this: he told me there were two men in our apartment; a bad man and a nice man. He told me the bad man was in the hallway trying to get in our bedroom at night and he was scared of him. He said the nice man was in the hallway too and he fought with the bad man to keep him away from us.

I'm not kidding that chilled me to the bone. I was listening to my son describe what I fully believed was something demonic, that whats-his-bucket brought into our home, and a guardian angel/spirit that kept it from harming either one of us. It bothered me a lot that my son could see all that - it was clearly upsetting to him. I held him a lot and prayed over him that's really all I could do. I knew I had to get us out of that apartment too - and within a few months I did. Prayer answered and a 2 bedroom apt became available downstairs; everything was much better after that. A year later I met who I'm married to today.

In hindsight, and considering what could have brought that 'darkness' into that apartment I think he must have been doing stuff in that place when I wasn't there - while I was at work and my son was at daycare. That's all I can think of - he brought that there by doing bad things he knew were wrong and did it anyway.