My sister Sara and I were always very close. Our relationship was in no way perfect, but still it was a closeness that I will never have with another living person. She was 3 years older than I, that's probably why we occasionally had our tifts. I was a pesky younger sister, and I can totally admit that now.
I was living in TN and she was still in Upstate NY. I was pregnant with my now 3-year-old son. It was December 2008 and, out of the blue, I went into labor. My son was born at 27 weeks. Sara had planned on coming down to TN after my son was born (original due date 3/15) so, him being born 3 months early, she came in February 2009.
My son came home from the hospital 2/21 and Sara was right there with me the whole way. She loved that little boy like nothing else. Sara was sick and had been for a few years. No doctor ever gave her the time of day because of her circumstance, I suppose. She was always in and out of the hospital and eventually placed on 4L of oxygen constantly.
Monday October 11, 2010, Sara passed away at the age of 28. I was at work and she was watching my son. My father went to our apartment to pick her up for a doctor's appointment and found her. My world shattered. I refused to step foot in our apartment that night. I just could not bring myself to go in there, so my son and I spent the night at my dad's. I was inconsolable, I wanted answers to WHY Sara had to leave this Earth. I was angry, and begging for her to come to me and let me know she was at peace.
I managed to fall asleep, but not a deep sleep by any means. I was too distraught for my brain to shut off. I was laying across the foot of the bed with my feet hanging off slightly. I woke up at some point and felt someone sit behind me. I was not scared at all. I knew it was Sara and was thankful she was there. Then, I heard her voice tell me that everything was alright now. Sara also told me she could be my rock now, something she couldn't do in flesh, but not to be selfish because I had to share her with our mother. I felt at peace at that moment and I knew she was happy, and in no pain.
It has been 1 year and 8 months to the day that she passed, and has come to me many times. I also know Sara comes to my son, nobody can tell me any different, no matter how crazy I may sound. I have to hold on to that belief forever, because if I don't, I have no clue how I would accept that she's gone.
For all of you out there that have siblings, no matter if you get along or not... Hug them, tell them you love them. You will never know a bond like that of a sister or a brother.
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