My First Hospital Experience

There are two places that I try to keep away as long as I can. It's dark and closed spaces, and hospitals. Why?

I got claustrophobia but not the kind that can cause asthma or something fatal just plain fear of closed spaces.

The other one are hospitals. They are something in hospitals that makes me avoid them as much as I can. It may be the stench of both death and disinfectant that makes me sick of the place. It may be the mix of emotions that the place contains that makes me afraid of it. Either one I'm still wary of the place.

Here's what I experience the first time a stepped inside a hospital.

I'm 12 0r 13 years old at the time when a family friend, Ate Elsie finally persuades me to accompany her for her pre-natal check-up at one of the Philippines famous hospitals. I tried to refuse but I fear for her safety because she is 7 or 8 months pregnant (her husband left her and we do not know where the hell he went, although I really wished that he was dragged in hell!) so even against my will I had to come with her.

Our trip to the hospital is long and tiring but when we arrived in the building (that I swear I'll never walk into again) I'm awestruck! The hospital is huge and old-looking. The adventurer in me wants to explore it but my instinct wants to run away. When we started to enter the building I feel dread creep all over me and hairs at my nape start to stand (a sure sign that some 'unseen' is looking at me or maybe I'm just expecting to see something dreadful). I tried not to looked around because I fear that I might see something that I won't really like (i.e. Decapitated unseen) and I didn't go unprepared to the hospital though, I have with me a bell charm bracelet (I got it from my mom) that will keep the 'unseen from pestering and following me, as well as to keep them away from me.

So here we are walking in a busy arched hallway of the hospital where nurses and people walk around here and there. Our goal is to reach the reception hall when I comment on how busy and confusing my surroundings are to our family friend. "Ate ganito ba talaga kagulo dito?" ("Ate (a polite address to older people) is it always crowded and busy in here?) Ate Elsie just looked at me with a weird expression on her face (a confused and afraid look) and hurriedly drags me up toward the reception hall. I'm puzzled about Ate Elsie's reaction all I see on the hallway are people and hospital staff milling around and doing their business (just the normal stuff).

I could not remember anything on when we left the hospital or what happened after that but all I can recall is when I heard my mom and Ate Elsie talking about the hospital thing a week later. I was shocked when I learned that the supposed to be busy and crowded hallway was actually empty at that time and there are no wards or rooms near that area so there's no way that patients can walk around there as well as there's no reason that a lot of nurses should be there as well.

Ate Elsie even asked my mom if I can see ghosts and such but Mom denied this ability because we don't want (like) people who know our family to talk about our gift of sensing the 'unseens' to others.

But up until now, I still can remember the scene on that hospital. The nurses are walking around busily and the patients are wandering around aimlessly, some are just sitting on benches. Everything is just a normal scene commonly seen on busy hospitals but as I recall it now, I can't remember what colors their clothes are but they do look like normal people to me.

Well I'm just glad that my very first experience in a hospital is not as frightening as I expected it to be but I still won't walk inside a hospital as far and as long as I can.