Hi, I live in Belgium and I'm 18 years old. It's been almost 2 years that my grandma has passed away. She struggled for her life so in a way I felt relieved that she had found peace, but I started feeling guilty because of it. She doesn't have a grave (she's been cremated) so I couldn't go see her and that just made my feeling worse.
I felt like I was "betraying" her. Every night before I go to sleep I speak to her, hoping that she can hear me, when one night something weird happened in my dreams. Suddenly I was sitting in her house on my seat and she was sitting in front of me. She smiled and said that she could hear me and that she was doing fine. She even called me "princess" (something she used to say to me) and said that my feelings were not wrong. She told me she would stand by me every step of my life. After that she disappeared.
I woke up and I screamed. Before that dream, I felt alone even when I was with my friends, something of me was gone forever. My mom says that it was really her because I was always her most precious grandchild. I don't know if it was real but I hope it was because I miss her so much! I loved her more then anyone and I still feel alone sometimes. I cry when nobody is watching ...