I condensed this story as much as I could, because it goes over a span of about 20 years.
As long as I can remember I was confronted with ghosts/spirits, and not the nice kind. I had a fearful childhood because of them / it. It took me a while before I ever spoke of my experiences to anyone. I was afraid people would think me weird or crazy, so I tried to live with it. Acting as nothing was going on, keeping silent. I first came out with it to my sister, in my early twenties. The best thing ever, because she told me she had the same sort of experiences in our home, to a way lesser extent than I, but still she could for example point out the same main 'hotspot' in our house. That was a great relief to me and to her as well. I remember we toasted with a nice glass of wine to celebrate the discovery that we were not crazy! To this day the people who know my story can still be counted on one hand. I'm at ease telling you my tale, because it is anonymous. I'm still looking for specific answers and I hope to get more insight by hearing what you have to say.
The location of my story is the home I grew up in. It was not an old house (we were the second family to inhabit it) and it was only 6 years old when we moved in (I was just a toddler). Unfortunately we were not the only inhabitants. How or why they or it came to be in our house, I do not know, only that it was there. Sometimes it was very active and sometimes for weeks things would quieten down. Never knowing when it would start again. Most of the time it would start with the air becoming thick, heavy, like some sort of mist, but I could see clearly. It felt like I could take the air in my hands and the room would get a dark feel to it. Normally I would take a run for it, but there have been situations (for example when I was young and too scared to go away or in case the exit door was obstructed by it) I stayed. The air would become thicker, especially in the middle, and would then sort of burst with me pressing against the wall (got me some nice bruises because of that). Other things happened too (both day and night), for example: footsteps, a certain door that would open/close (with the doorknob going up/down), knocks, crazy/violent dreams, shadows (sometimes moving very close to me), lights going on/off, once I was kicked out of my body (I was around 8) and saw myself acting crazy from above, while the dog was squealing in the corner. When I came back he immediately came to lick me as if to welcome my return. During all these years, I prayed so much, but it didn't help. I felt completely abandoned.
Useful to add is that I only experienced these things in my home. On camping trips, vacation trips, staying over at friends or family, when I started to life on campus, I never experienced anything. When my parents moved out this house in 1998 I never experienced anything like it again. Oh, when others were around (and not sleeping) nothing would happen as well, only when I (or my sister) were alone.
One night, (I was 16 at the time) I woke up and found someone/thing was with me who was threatening me (and no, no sleep paralysis). I was so scared. When I was alone again, I just broke down; I was shaking from head to toe, feeling so utterly desperate that I just asked out loud: "can something or someone please come help me". I didn't sleep the rest of the night. The next night when I finally fell asleep (and that took a while) a woman came into my dream. The only part of her I saw clearly was her lower arms and her hands. She had very slender hands with long fingers and they were very pale. Her wrists were thin as well. The rest of her lower arms were covered by her sleeves. Sleeves that were bound around her wrists with as it seemed a piece of ribbon or elastics. Of the rest of her I never got a clear picture. It was all blurry, her body was covered in a sort of whitish/greyish misty dress and she had half long dark/black hair. I never saw her face nor heard neither voice nor noise coming from her. I was not afraid of her, strangely enough. I also just knew she had come because of my call. She showed me with her hands techniques how to protect myself. It was a strange combination of her showing and in my mind knowing, as if the knowledge just popped up in my mind. She only appeared to me twice (never saw her again). But that was enough. With the things she taught me I was able to cleanse my room. How much that meant to me! Undisturbed sleeps, easy dreams, a safe haven in my home. I could also manage to create some sort of wall around me so in the rest of the house they/it could no longer come close to me. Needless to say is that my life changed for the better. Happy times! I am very grateful for her help. But... (and there is always a but) I was always curious of who she was.
And so, when the internet came (still remember the time when it did not exist, huh?:-) I started surfing to see if I could find anything about such a person and about the things she taught me. About the latter, I ended up in the witchcraft world of things. I started reading up about it, and it felt familiar, although not completely. I ended up doing some spells myself (mind you, only on myself, like curing myself from a broken heart) and it worked extremely well. It was amazing, but freaked me out as well. The decent Catholic upbringing I had received got to me, so to speak. I was wondering if I was just about to open my own Pandora's Box. So I let it rest. It still pulls me immensely and feels like I am denying a part of myself, but I have (almost) two kids now (one two-year old and one on the way) and my top priority is to keep the home clean and not run the risk of getting something in my home that will jeopardize their safety. I want them to have a safe and happy childhood. Besides, I greatly value the peace as well. I also surfed to find out who she was, but I couldn't find anything useful. Anything similar to her appearance is mostly about sadness, misery, death and doom. How does that add up?
These are the questions I lay out for you: who was she? Was she my guardian angel? She didn't feel very angelic to be honest. And if she had been an angel, why hadn't she come earlier when I was praying? Was she a deceased relative? I don't know I never felt any sort of warmth nor recognition from her. Was she some sort of spirit who pitied me? Why did she come to my aid? And why wasn't I afraid of her? That puzzles me too.
I know I left bits out. The only goal was to give enough context information in order for you to be able to answer my questions. I hope I've done just that. If it turns out that some parts need more detail or elaboration, ask me so, I will do that in the comments.
Thank you!
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