Am I Cursed? Blessed?

For a while I've been having strange things happen, but I didn't pay attention to them I don't know exactly why but about 18 months ago I began to believe something was bad was happening.

I moved with my mother to an apt. Things were fine but on the 3rd day there was a strong smell of paint thinner in our apt. Maintenace was called they had to open all the windows to let the smell out and checked our apt. And our neighbors to see where was the leak coming from but nobody found anything. When I got home I couldn't smell anything so it went by like nothing had happen.

Then one day I got home from work and I had only two jackets that I could use at work, one was already dirty so as soon as I go into the apt. I start the washer and put the dirty jacket to wash and I take off the jacket I was wearing to put in the washer and it was gone! I couldn't find it. I was so mad because my badge was in the pocket plus my keys. I was the only one in the apt. But I couldn't blame anybody for the disappearence. I was thinking how can I be so airheaded and not know where I place things. The next morning I found my badge and keys on the iron table. 2 weeks later I found the jacket clean on the iron table. But I thought it was my mom.

My car stereo would turn off by itself, but to me it was no problem just push the on button and it was 'fixed'. The battery on my car was dead, I checked everything to make sure nothing was left on, and really everything was off. So I thought it was time for a new battery because autozone was not able to charge it either. Weeks later I went to a house party, a gathering. I left around 2am and stoped at gas station to get gas. It was snowing hard and I could hardly see the road. I was taking my time and when I got home my tire was flat to the ground. It was the back tire where the gas tank is at, so I thought how in the hell I couldn't notice or felt anything. So I just thought I need a new tire that's why it's flat.

In the livingroom I was shaping my eyebrows. It was 2pm, my mother was taking a nap and I was watching/listening to the tv. I had a lamp on and the power went out. So I checked outside to see if it was windy and nothing. I walked to the kitchen and the microwave had power, I checked the rooms and they had power too. The power went out in the area where I was only. I told my mom that we were going to have to report it to have that fixed. So I used an extension cord to get power for the tv. When my mothers husband got home he checked the electrical box and the livingroom switch was off but it was so far it was 'normal'.

One day I went to the balcony to have a cigarrete, I smoke, and I noticed 2 pigeons. One pigeon was healthy and the second pigeon seemed ill. It was kind of windy and cloudy. The pigeons were in a corner. The balcony has 4 corners. The pigeons were in corner #1 and where I stand to smoke is corner #3, imagine counter clock when counting the corners. The next day I come home from work and I go out for a smoke and the pigeons were in the balcony. The healthy pigeon stayed in corner #1 but the ill pigeon was in corner #2 and the feathers looked spread out. I called my mom and asked her if she knew how birds looked like when they die. I knew that the feathers spread out when they die naturally, I mean not killed. But the pigeon did move a little. The next day after work I go out to the balcony to smoke and the healthy pigeon is still in corner #1 and has not moved to any other corner, I couldn't see the ill pigeon but in corner #3 were I stand to smoke I have a plant vase for the ashes only and I noticed the ill pigeon behind the vase. After that I thought there was something weird going on cause that is not normal, or at least it didn't seem normal to me. Next day again, the healthy pigeon was in corner #1 from the biginning and the ill pigeon was in corner #4 but it looked dead to me. The healthy pigeon would just look. So I was thinking there was a pattern and that once the ill pigeon gets back to corner #1 something bad was going to happen. I only had! Day to do something about it.

I called my younger sister and told her what was going on. She believes in curses and all that stuff so I knew She could find someone who can help me figure out what's going on. Her husband called a psychic they known for some time and asked him to check the cards for me. He told my sister that I had to seek help immediately. He asked them how was I doing, so they told him about the birds and he said the birds were final signs to get my attention, that I had ignored pasts warnings. So I went to see him the day after. What he told me was that there was a dark spirit following me all the time, that it never went away. He called it a shadow and that it wouldn't stop until I was gone, that it would mess with me mentally, with my family and that it would never let me be happy in any relationship. That the shadows goal is to emotionally and spiritually bring me down and when people suffer those attacks is usually when they end up comitting suicide. That I had to get rid of it because I've had him with me for a long time not just now.

I remember I had to bathe in herbs for 3 consecutive nights and light a holy death purple candle. So I felt better and all weird things stop happening. I saw him again last november and asked him if the spirit was really gone but he couldn't look at me in the eyes, but he said yes, he's gone but that spirits will always follow me because of my light. I had my doubts because I always felt something at the foot of my bed. A clairvoyant over the phone told me that the spirit was still with me. The man that helped me doesn't have the knowledge to cleanse people from evil spirits. She said she could help me but that it would be a lot harder because she was too far away and if I could find someone who could be with me physically it would be better. She told me the same thing the man had told me but that if the spirit couldn't be removed succesfully it was only going to get stronger and was going to camouflage at somepoint being undetected by conventional methods. She told me about fresh eggs cleansing and how to do them. When I was doing them I felt lighter, it's weird but as I prayed I would feel tired and when I was done with the ritual I felt lighter. During those days and it was the day before valentines day, I was moving out to my own place. I went to my moms apt. To get a few things, it was 11 or midnight but it was late. Right at the entrancefrom the apt. Almost in the middle there was a white dove on the floor dead. I got closer and only the head was smashed. It was cold, late, and a dove? I thought it was a message for me.

I was going through a rough time and every week it was something worse. So I came accross a woman that is a psychic/medium and I had her read me the tarot cards, she gave me a regular reading like I was looking for love and money advice. At the end of the reading I told her the reason I was there for, showed her pictures I had taken and she checked me with an egg and told me something was done to me with black magic that involved blood. Also that I had a special light that the negative spirits wanted from me so I asked her to help me get rid of this spirit.

I wanted to find out who did this to me and why. My older sister got into a terrible car accident. She was driving on the wrong side of the road, was lost, had drank, it was raining on top of that she had been driving since 11:30 pm and crashed around 2 am. It was a head-on collision both car were going about 70 mph according to the investigation from the skid marks plus the spped limit from the area. Nobody died. Though my sister recalls seeing a car coming from behind her flashing the bright lights at fast speed. She was wondering if the car was going to switch lanes to pass her that's why she couldn't understand why the police was saying she was on driving on the wrong side of the road, there is a cement wall in the middle to separate the roads. That night I was going to go with them but I was really tired and didn't have my phone, I got one from a cousin and went home to sleep. My sister for a while blamed me for the accident saying if I would have been there with her she would have never been lost in the 1st place and therefore never crashed.

The woman told me that the light that my sister had seen it was me giving her a warning to pull over. That if I I would have gone to the party with them we both would have died.

She also told me that in my sleep I was taking care of my other family members and that I was their emotional pilar if I fall they fall, so I was like ok I could relate to that.

So I told her about the sleep paralysis that I've been suffering for years, and she told me it was other spirits attracted to the light and when I wake up accross the bed and the sheet are on the floor is because they had dragged me. She told me that I had an angel protecting me and my family. I had to light several candles for weeks, she gave me about 7 rosaries, some amulets, when we did the seal for protection it was also to do the final ritual to leave the spirit in the cementary.

After some chanting and incense burning she told me it was somebody from my family, who that has passed away did I feel like was still around so I told her It was my grandfather that I knew he passed away mad at my aunt and grandmother. She told me that he was stuck in our world and was looking for help to crossover, so I had to leave a glass of water in his grave for 9 days everyday and pray. Then he was on the other side.

Things were so much better I 'm so glad I found her. I was doing so bad, after the cleansings I was promoted, finally my peers saw that I could do more than what I was doing. My relationship was always good but got better. It even felt strange cause I was not use to have so many good things in a row. But it lasted for about a month, and it was back again. I always question why my grandfather was a dark spirit if he was a good guy but she didn't have an answer. I had to burn an incense in my home to remove negative energy that I was bringing home. The last room was my bedroom and I began to hear my amulets hit each other, like banging against each other. When I finished I sat on the couch and checked them. Right as I put it next to me one of the stones was gone in a second. I looked for it tear the bottom of the couch and never found it. I went to my healers home, It was on a friday around 11 pm, when she opened the door she told me 'they' took your green stone, and I was like yeah how can I get it back, she said I wouldn't get it back but that she would replace it. After a couple of weeks I told her I felt the spirit was back, but that it was never really gone, the bad one. He can't come in my room but I can see a shadow from the corner of my eye in my house. I sleep at night with the lamp from the livingroom on and I can see a from the light that something blocks it as it walks by. I live by myself too, and I don't have pets.

I was looking for places where they can help me develop how to protect myself, And as I was looking downtown I came accross a Botanica. They have a psychic that reads tarot on tuesdays and fridays only. The place was closing so I asked the man inside what happen to the psychic development workshop aournd the area and he said they moved and asked me what I needed. I told him I was searching for answers for strange occurences. He told me the psychic would be in on tuesday by appointment only.

Another lady come from the back and told me that my dad had a lover and when my mom was pregnant she figured that my mother will always be the official because she was the wife and was pregnant. It was a curse for my mother but instead I took the hit. The strange animals that I have seen were my gifts from this spirit. She also told me it wasn't human but it's not good nor evil. This spirit feels like he's got power over me and was waiting for me to get pregnant to take over the fetus, and that wasn't going to let me be happy in a relationship. Then she said no one can get rid of this thing but me, no one can help me and that he was laughing at everything I was doing to get rid of him. She said he wasn't going to hurt me but as long as he's around nobody would be happy with me including family and friends.

She also mention that I could make a pact with this spirit and tell him that I would let him stay but he can't harm my family and love ones, the other ways to get rid of it was far more than what I'm willing to do. One of them was an exorcism with 3 generations from my family, my grandmother is alive but that my mom or I could die in the ritual, so I asked her what else and she mention oil baths and have sex with someone that I really hate so that the curse can be transfer to another person. Then I told her what about my home because I can see shadows then she mention 4 mirrors to mimic the elements and north etc. So the spirit will be trapped and exit through one of the mirrors by breaking it and done. So I never went back.

I told my healer about it and she gave me a speech on morals and medium that work with dark forces, then she offered me an exorcism with a priest so I told her to go ahead. It was on a sunday and there was no priest. It was some prayers, in the end she told me I wasnt't possessed. I told her I already knew I wasn't possessed he just won't leave. I feel my problem is out of her hands, she's helped me a lot, but this spirit won't leave. She told me she doesn't know why but when I'm near her she feels anger. She told me to pray to my angel, she even gave me the name I have heard of him but not by name. A friend was taking a picture of me and was going to delete it because there was something in front of me. Several people have told me it's my guardian angel.

Before I had a hard time to practice astral projection and lucid dreams forget it I couldn't figure out dreams from reality even if the sun was talikng to me while I'm flying to me in dreams I couldn't tell it wasn't real. Now I can leave my body but I go all the way out into space and land in a purple pinkish plane. I've been there twice, but haven't yet figure out why I'm pull into that certain planet. I can lucid dream now, when I'm running from something fearful I can now make it go away. Last night I confronted a tornado that was chasing me. Of course I chased the tornado after I realized it was a dream cause I was running searching for shelter.

 

I have to mention that none of the psychics have charged me. Each one has said that there are things they don't get to see all the time and I'm one of them, and they do it because I need help fast. My concern is what is it? What does it want? Am I getting rid of a spirit guide? Demon? Spirit? How can I find out what is it that I'm suppose to do? Is it a curse? How can I protect myself? Who can help me... I will attach some pictures of the dove and the orb that I was told it was an angel. If anybody knows what this is or where can I find help please post, thank you.