I miss my grandma every day. I spent as much time with her as I could. Even as an adult I would drive over an hour to visit her at least once a week, sometimes more.
The day I dreaded came. She was dying. I sat by her for a few days. It was physically and emotionally draining and painful to watch her suffer. And I dreaded the moment she was gone. I decided to take a little bit of a break. That is when she passed.
I stumbled about over the following days. I expressed little emotion. A tear now and again. One day I was on my way to the gym. My gym bag dumped out by the door and I lost it. I sobbed and sobbed. My partner came to the door and said, "I thought you were acting a bit too tough." The flood gates opened and I became very emotional for some time. I made a special scrapbook to bring to her memorial. I eventually started to adjust and accept.
One day I was having a fairly pleasant day. I was chatting and singing to myself, putting away dishes. She wasn't really on my mind and I felt peace. Out of nowhere I felt her there. The room was filled with how she felt, how she smelled and love. So much love and warmth. It made me stop in my tracks and just be in the moment. Then just as suddenly she left. I felt such joy then, such love, deep comfort. It was like she was so happy I was happy and moving on.
I still think of her often and send out a heart felt "I miss you." But that moment, when she came back, is a wonder to me. I hope that in sharing this story others may also find some comfort.
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