Needed Love

What I am about to tell you may sound unreal or made up but it's real and it's my life. I have been dealing with a spirit I believe is attached to me. I believe/believed it's an incubus but I am not going to talk about that, I'm going to explain something else that recently happened.

Of course people know of the incubus, what they do but that's not the main focus of my story. What I've been going through for the past 5 years, I think it's an incubus but lately I'm starting to think it's probably something different. Here's why.

My ex-boyfriend of 8 years decided to leave because things got a little tough on us. We have kids together and lived together for 3 years but regardless that he still felt the need to walk away. It has been hard but I have to keep my head on right and raise my kids.

Since he left I decided to moved back in with my parents because it's easier, my kids love it here and I'm not alone all the time. Before I moved back in with my parents I had experiences with this spirit but I never said anything to anyone. I keep a lot of things to myself and I know that's bad but it's hard, complicated explaining these types of things to people. Since I have been back at my parents' house, which has been about 4 months now I've been crying a lot while I'm alone, I've cried myself to sleep and even in the shower. I know it's a lot of crying.

One night I was talking to myself, trying to clear my head of everything and while I was lying in bed I heard a voice say "I love you." I can't say it was a male but I've never heard a voice like that, it was directly in my ear. It was spooky, I was the only one up and it was dark in the room. I tried to brush it off but I couldn't, I knew what I heard.

A couple nights after that my daughter started saying how there's a ghost in my parents' living room, how it watches us and how she is scared. I definitely believe my daughter but as a parent I'm not sure what to say, I tell her not to worry and I'm here to protect her. Along with that I've seen a spirit twice on two different occasions, one was in my parents' room and the other in the living room. The spirit was tall, I couldn't see a face.

The first incident it came running in my parents' room where I was alone and the second incident, which was I believe a week later, it was walking away from me but saying my name. It's really scary, I've had experiences before but it has gotten stronger I believe.

This month things took a strange turn, so I mentioned it being an incubus which I will not go into detail about but I have had them type of experiences for a long time even through my relationship and my break up.

After dealing with what I believe to be an incubus for 5 years the incidents stop randomly one night. After crying again to my sister about my kids' father, I didn't feel anything in the house or see anything and for some people that's a good thing but for me it was odd.

The first week I was talking to a friend, she was saying how I should start talking to guys to take me mind off my kids' father and I agreed. She put an ad up on a Craiglist, which I have to say I was a little embarrassed about but it happened. I got a lot of replies from all types of men, I didn't really find anyone I liked until about a few days in.

I was kind of doubting the whole thing at that point but one afternoon I went to check my email and I seen this well written email from this guy named Tim. When I first opened the email it was funny, I felt at that moment it was different and the way it was written seemed he had took his time writing me. I replied instantly, we got to know each other very well but never talked on the phone, we did exchange pictures often. Now through talking to Tim I haven't had ANY experiences with the spirit I believed to be the incubus or the attached spirit.

When Tim and I were talking we got very close, opened up to one another and we both questioned how we had such a strong connection and we barely knew each other. He wrote to me a lot, even sent me pictures of what he does for work. He would mentioned how he was my personal "gargoyle" which was really cute. He mentioned how he would protect me, love and trust me. He said how I can trust him as well. We talked about this vibe we had and the crazy feelings we were gaining for each other. It was scary but we both wanted it.

I remember reading one of the messages and it said how he was going to protect me from evil spirits and watch over me. He said he was my watchman and I know he was probably just talking but it felt like something more because how he wrote it. He mentioned how maybe God brought us together for a reason. He pretty much made me feel happy again in a way that I didn't expect to feel anytime soon. I liked talking to him.

We talk about meeting each for the first time and how we couldn't wait to touch each other and be around each other. He would call me beautiful, tell me how I'm an amazing woman and how I deserve to be treated like one. He made me feel loved. I never even mentioned my recent break up or anything like to him and yet he still made me feel like he needed to say those things. He would tell me how I made him feel things he haven't felt in years, he was amazing. After talking for a while things were going perfect so I thought.

One night he texted me this long message like every other time and the next morning he just randomly came to a stop. He texted me that morning saying that he was just basically writing to tell me goodbye but it was written a little different. He stated that God knows his feelings are from his heart and what we have is unique. He also said that God has sent him on a different road, that he wasn't deleting me out his life but where he's going he would not be returning and may never return. He said he can't question it. I wrote him telling him how I didn't understand and what was going on, why was he leaving me suddenly with no explanation but I never heard from him again. He never answered me, nothing. I was upset because I didn't fully get what had happened.

That following day my sister asked to watch my kids for the night. I agreed, I haven't had a night to myself in a while and needed to clear my head but that night I was seeing something in my room. I tried to ignore it but it didn't work, so that entire night I slept with the covers over my head. That morning I had an experience again with the spirit. It was kind of freaky because I didn't understand why it stopped randomly then begun again.

Later that day my kids came back home and I was in the kitchen cooking. I was thinking out loud, basically talking to myself and I started realizing that a day or 2 after the incidents with the spirit stopped Tim popped up and as soon as Tim disappeared I get the incidents again.

Now I was saying all that aloud to myself in my kitchen then... BOOM! I get a crazy bad anxiety attack, I was sooo terrified, if you know what it feels like then you can understand why. I've had one before but that one was intense and scary, it happened right after I mentioned what I was thinking.

Now I feel crazy but I kind of feel like maybe that spirit was Tim and I know it sounds crazy because how can a spirit possibly email someone... I have no explanation for it. I know it's real and a part of me is scared because I have something I'm dealing with and I don't know what it is or what it wants.

I haven't heard from Tim since that last message. He basically just disappeared after telling me so much. I was going through a heartbreak and I feel like the spirit saw me hurting, I felt alone, like no one loved me. Having Tim come to me then leave like that was hard. He told me things that I didn't even mention to him.

At this point I don't know what to think but that's my story... I still don't understand what happened to Tim and maybe I'm not supposed to and even if Tim isn't this spirit I still have no explanation for anything that's going on with me. I have so many unexplainable incidents and I just want answers I guess.