For as long as I can remember, I have had a male spirit attached to me. It didn't matter where I moved or how old I got, he has always been there by my side. At times, I grow fearful of him, other times he comforts me and sometimes he is dormant for so long, I tend to forget about him.
I first grew aware of his presence when I began puberty. This time period, he was the most aggressive. I remember laying in bed and watching a black mass of a man walk around my room. The crunch of the papers I had on the floor would crunch under his feet. At times, I thought this was a living human that had snucked in, but with the lights on, he would disappear. My bed would violently shake and at times, my hard to open drawers on my nightstand would fly open and slam shut. Books would be thrown at my head some mornings and other times, I would just cover my head and shut my eyes tight and pray it will go away. I am born and raised in California and have had my fair share of earthquakes, so I know what to look for and none of that was part of an earthquake.
He would often times appear to me the night before something bad would happen. The first time, my mother got into a car accident with a semi-truck. The second time, my grandma was sent to the hospital with kidney failure. The next time, the place next to ours got broken into and ransacked. The last time he appeared to me in an aggressive way, the hotel across the street caught on fire. I don't believe that this was his causing, but him warning me.
I used to hear his voice call out behind me. He would call my name, or ask me silly things, like who was singing. Many times, I would turn around to reply, thinking my dad was behind me since he was the only male in the house, but I would quickly realize that he would still be at his job. My favorite times was when he would whistle or hum me an enchanting tune whenever I was in bed or on a walk by myself.
When I was in my late teens, I would have sex dreams with a strange man. I soon began to see visions of him in the real world. He had dark hair, light eyes, a big top hat and a vest with a long sleeved shirt. He almost looked like the aristocrats of old. I realized that this was the man I used to dream of, but clothed. I describe my encounters with my dad and he was quick to remind me of my childhood imaginary friend, Spooky. According to my dad, the description I gave of his appearance matched that to my imaginary friend. I even used to say that he lived in a huge place, almost like a cathedral. So, every time we passed a church, I used to yell, "There's Spooky's house!" When my dad told me that, memories of my childhood 'friend' came back to me. I don't remember much except that he was tall, had dark hair and always wore a top hat of some sort. I remember one time, playing with him, he had told me that he had loved me and I laughed and told him he couldn't because he was a boy and boys were gross. That's all that I remember of my imaginary friend.
I started to think something might be mentally wrong with me. My then boyfriend, now husband and I moved into our apartment and brought our dogs along. I remember laying on the floor watching a movie with our dogs when that familiar terror feeling came back to me. I watched my dogs stand up, hair on end and growl at some unseen force before they stalked whatever it was into the bedroom. My boyfriend used to run to me saying that there was a strange man in our apartment or things were moving on their own. I would just laugh and say it was my ghost, or Spooky.
Things became dormant for a while, but then I got pregnant with our daughter. He started to make his appearance again. But once again it had more of a loving feel to it. I was sent to the hospital with premature labor and I squeezed my eyes during a labor pain and when I opened them, I saw him there standing by my bed, smiling affectionately at me. I closed my eyes with another contraction and when I opened them, he was gone. I was worried that he would latch on to my daughter, but he has been acting like she is his own. She is 8 months now, but was born with a rare genetic disorder, so she is very small and a bit behind. I would walk in on her squealing and playing with someone or something above her. She would have her blankets in a ball under her and I would check and the blankets would be draped around her and tucked in. She doesn't have the abilities to do that and I was the only one at home.
Recently, I started having dreams of him again. He would tell me that he has loved me for a very long time now and I can have anyone in the physical realm, but when I'm not there, whether through dreams or permanently then I was his. I tried to tell him tat my husband will be the one that was and always will be by my side. After that dream, I've had the name Cecil run through my mind constantly. I'm starting to wonder if that is his name. I wish to know what he is and what he truly wants. I've grown affectionate of him, but scared at the same time.
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