My Father Sent Me 3 Messages

This story is about three incidents which occured in 2012-2013, after I lost my father.

In 2012, I became entitled to study in Spain for a year. I remember that my father was so proud of me. Not long after, my dad had a heart attack in the end of August. I left for Spain with a huge grief in my heart. A couple of months after my arrival, I have met a Spanish guy. He was a head-turner handsome guy and he seemed like he was doing everything to make me feel a little bit less sad in Spain. I was not sure if I wanted a relationship with him but he was pushing me.

Incident #1

It was Valentines Day and I exchanged gifts with this guy. I came home and before going to sleep I kept asking a question. "Is this guy good to me?". I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw a black cloud hanging from the ceiling. I screamed so loud, my neighbors came to door to check on me. I managed to sleep again at dawn and I had a dream. My father and I were at a grocery shop. He picked a perfect looking orange. He showed it to me and asked "'Doesn't it look perfect?". Then he cut the orange open, showed me that it was all rotten inside. He put down the orange and disappeared. Later on I realized he was warning me about this guy. Because he was handsome from the outside and ugly from the inside. But I was going to find this out later.

Incident #2

My father was right, this guy was a mess. When I wanted to stop talking to him, he reacted harshly and started spreading rumors about me. Once on the phone, he told me that I was using him to keep myself occupied to forget my fathers death. This hurt me so much I cried like hours and hours that day. Then I started to talk loud as if my father was next to me. I told him to stay with me, that I need him the most. I prayed for his soul and went to sleep. That night around 4 o'clock, someone was knocking on my door. It was this guy, begging me to open the door. His face was all swollen and covered with bruises. Apparently he was beaten to within an inch of his life at a bar fight. I handed him a bag of ice and slammed the door on his face. Then I said loud "Thank you Dad".

Incident #3

It was nearly summer again and there was only 2 months left to finish my year and go back home. After all, it affected me badly that I couldn't get any support after my dad's funeral and I dealt with the shock all by myself. During the last months, I locked myself home and kept studying & kept missing dad. On one of those days, I had a dream and in my dream a song -which I never heard before- kept replaying. I didn't see anything but heard the song over and over again. When I woke up, I googled the lyrics and clicked the video of the song. It was "Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback. In the video, there was a girl who has lost her dad and how her dad kept watching her over. Song still makes me cry.

It goes like " You're never going to be alone from this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall... You're never going to be alone. I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone."

Well I shed some tears while writing this post. May he rest in peace.

To the ones who lost someone so close, they see us. Believe me, they do.