A Deadly Dream

When I was about 13 I had ran away from home and was staying with friends in saskatoon. Now I can't say they were "good" people as they all had their problems but for some reason they had befriended me and let me stay with them, amazing as they were all much older and could have gotten into lots of trouble about that.

Well, my best buddy and "street brother" was a guy called seadog, he had just turned 18, and gotten out of juvie. He was the kind of guy who always had a smile on his rugged face no matter what and looked out for me like a big brother would. Now at this time everyone was on drugs and going crazy and I ended up getting picked and put into a low security home for runaways.

Not even 3 days later I saw the header in the local star phoenix, "3 caught in kidnapping plot, 2 still sought" well the two they were looking for was saedog and his girl denny. Of course I took off looking for them to help get him out of town or whatever. The first place I stopped was at the apt, which still had crime scene tape across the battered door, it didn't take much to get it open and I went inside and retrieved my journal and the deck of tarot cards that had been a gift from seadog. He of course, wasn't there. But as it happens I got picked up outside by a cop who recognized me and much to my suprise, there in the back of the paddy wagon, was seadog, on the other side of the divider. His trademark smile was missing and he looked very sad, as I assured him all would be well and I would visit (of course!) we didn't have long to talk but in the time we did, he told me what had happened how he had walked in on a kidnapping in progress by the three "friends" and ended up being forced to stay. And now a long jail sentence was awaiting him.

Well they took him off to court and deposited me back at the home and that it would seem was that. But it wasn't. About 4 days later I fell asleep to the sound of rain on my window and the doors singing riders on the storm, and suddenly I was outside of seadogs prison cell, were he sat on a cot with a rope made from ripped and braided bed sheets hung from his hands. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and I tried to comfort him, but he didn't see me until he had hung himself, then it seemed he was looking right at me.

I woke and it was already morning, and I was kind of shook up about the dream but didn't think much of it until about 10 minute after I got I up a counselor came to my room saying I had a call.

The call was from charlotte, the planner of the whole kidnapping and my now ex good friend. She asked if I had heard about seadog, and I went off on her saying how could she, he was going to get so long in jail etc. She said "honey I think you should sit down" and then told me he had hung himself that night. The same night I had the dream and couldn't save him. That screwed me up for awhile and honestly I ran away and can't remember what I did for the next 4 months touring calgary and edmonton.

One day a wise woman told me I shouldn't feel guilty about it, if he had wanted to be saved he would have seen me, or sensed I was there and not done what he had. It wasn't my fault.

PS: Kids, it is never a good idea to run away from home, horrible things can happen and it doesn't fix anything. Take it from one who knows!