Never Had A Chance To Say Sorry

Is there any circumstances in your life that changed you? An event that you will never ever forget? Perhaps a situation that taught you something? Well, I was just wondering if someone perhaps has the same experience I had when I was a kid.

To begin with my story...

I was in the province, nothing peculiar on that day. If I can recall, I was 7 or 8 years old that time. We were in my grandmother's house in Batangas, Philippines. Supposedly, there should be people in the house, since it was Fiesta during that day. I was not aware that they went out and visited some of my aunts and uncles near our village.

Just to give you an idea what our place looks like back in the days, roads are under constructions, there are no fences on each houses, houses are near to each other and there are lot of kids playing outside.

So, it was late afternoon, I just woke up and to my surprise there was a girl standing beside my bed smiling at me and she asked me 'Sino ka ga?' (batangas dialect which means 'who are you?') she's around my age that time. So, I answered her with my name and even tell her who my parents are. As a kid and being a jolly, I got excited because I know she's my cousin and we can play together. I asked her name but she did not answer me like she did not hear me but instead asked me question again, 'nakita mo ga si itay?' (Have you seen grandpap?') there are different ways on how will you call your grandfather in different provinces. I got shocked because 'our' grand father is dead I think 2 years already (only if I can remember that time). Like how come you have no idea that he's dead, right? So, again, as a kid I didn't bother why she asked that.

So, I went downstairs looking for my mom and even invited her if she can come with me but she refused and said ('hintayin ko ang itay at baka mamura ako kapag bumaba ako') ('I'll wait for grandpap. He'll be mad if I go down without him knowing it.)

I finally got the courage to tell her that (diba ga eh patay na si itay? Baket mo ba sinasabe na magagalet siya sayo?) (As a kid, I will tell her what I know with no hesitations) (Why are you saying that grandpap will get mad at you? Don't you know he's dead?) She got mad and ran to grandpap's room and I felt bad because I felt like I made her upset.

So, I went down still looking for my mom and my cousins but they are nowhere to be found, only our neighbors. Since it's fiesta, I went to one of my aunt's house and stayed there until they arrived and played with my other cousins.

Just to give you an idea what happened to my grandpap's room after he died was, they kept it empty. I went back in the house as one of my cousins told me that my mom and my younger sister is at home already. I told my mom about whom I was able to talk about that day and they were just laughing at me with questions on their face and asked where is the kid then? But I don't know her name, all I know she stayed in my grandfather's room so I lead them going there but as we approach the room I saw a picture of a lil' girl and told them that she's that girl I was talking about and then ran right away to the room where she was staying.

My mom and my grandmother just looked at me with horror in their face while I was opening the door I remember I smell a sampaguita scent coming out from that room and I saw a toddler porcelain doll standing in the middle of the room and the girl was nowhere to be found.

I cried after that because the doll was sooo creepy. The doll was just looking at me like even my soul got scared. I just found out lately that the person I was able to spoke to was just my grandmother, my grandfather's sister. My grandmother who really loves to play with me whenever my mom is out and when she's the only one left at home who can take care of me.

From that time until now, I am so creeped out to any types of doll and I don't know why. I always remember that whatever happens in our lives we always treasure the time we had with our loved ones and always express your sorry and your love to them and appreciation.

I hope you guys enjoyed my story. Thanks YGS!