Limbo

Limbo

It was Nov 30th, 1998 and I was 18 at that time. Winter nights were getting chill and same day in the evening my aunt died. She was an acute arthritis patient. She was a patient from her younger age and during 1998 she was in her 60s. Same night of her death, while we did the last rituals after her burial, I felt something not correct while sleeping at night. It was 1: 05 am when I felt like my body turned out to be triple the actual weight of my body. I was afraid and I ran out from bed room to living room. My parents also ran towards me. They gave me a glass of water and an equilibrium tablet which helped me to relax a little. But one thing was confirmed that there was something paranormal happening with me.

Earlier my parents thought may be due to fear of seeing someone dead caused it but this happened to me every consecutive night same time after which they agreed.

After three days, my father took me to a priest in mosque. He listened to all the details and then gave some thread to wear on neck for safety. After wearing, that problem seems solved but it only helped few days after which my health started getting worse day by day.

I started feeling dizzy, head seems floating not able to concentrate. That continued. I thought that I had some eye sight issue but it was not. Sometime I feel gastric issue, headache, heart palpitation. Even went to a professional cardiologist. He had me undergo full body tests, ECG, BP monitoring, making changes in diet, everything turned out to be absolutely normal. He told my father nothing to worry about, just relax.

Anyway, as doctor mentioned, I started going out with friends more, spending more time with them, enjoy roaming in streets but at night same paranormal activity continue. Now even my parents were not willing to listen to me as they were satisfied with doctor but I know that I am in problem.

Time went on in similar way, I started feeling very insecure after 7pm every day. I felt like someone is trying to hold me. I felt pinch on my heart side and I got afraid but didn't tell anyone about it as none believed me anymore.

It was my final year Physics exam in April, 1999. I was well prepared even in those situations. But when I started writing my exam, I felt same pinch near my heart side. Palpitation started. I felt like I am going to die. I asked for help from the invigilator but she revoked at me that I am making excuses. After an hour I felt some relaxation and I completed my three hours exam in two hours with shivering hands and really bad hand writing. It was terrible experience of my life. Similar incidents also happened in other exams.

After exams were over, two months long summer vacations started. I use take my bicycle and move around in the local market but I felt like something has acquired my mind. I was not sure what's happening to me. Horrible nightmares started coming. Being afraid I was not able to sleep at night properly so I use to sleep during early morning after I heard chirping of birds.

I realized that when I go in sunlight I felt some relaxation, like the evil spirit which was trying to harm me becomes powerless in sunlight. But in evening 7pm onwards, it looked like there's no God.

I started thinking why this is happening to me. Soon I realized that I harass aunt a lot when she alive. I use to beat her, make fun of her, throwing water on her in winter, kick her, push her without any reason. I use to see my parents ill-treating her and so did I. She was always normal with me but I use to do all that bad stuff to her.

I cried afterwards so much, cried from the bottom of my heart. I pray God to beg her pardon. I cried daily begging her pardon. It continued and I realized I felt little relaxed after crying, like heavy heart turned lighter but that was only for short span of time.

Afterwards I started feeling something really bad is going to happen. I talked to my parents but they ignored it but I know that something really bad is about to happen.

It was Saturday, 13th June 1999 afternoon when it felt like someone like shadow was following me. When I tried to look back, it was too fast. Next, I felt like my teeth are getting sharper like axe teeth and tongue was getting bitten underneath. It was very horrifying. I know something will happen but I kept on ignoring even after feeling all that. My heart rate was high as I was able to listen to it in my ears.

At night same time 1:05 am I realized some spirits entered inside me. I was trying to speak but unable to do so, not able to move but then I pushed myself with full force from my bed and started shouting "Dad! Please save me Dad! Please save me!" I felt like I am about to die. My voice was changed as there were four-five different voices were coming from inside me. I was shouting in same voices for help. My body became so heavy and heard to move. The voices by which I was shouting, crying for help woke up all the neighborhood. They were actually enjoying what was happening to me, enjoying seeing my death coming!

Somehow my father managed to hold tight my arms and shoulders, he was also afraid what was happening to me, my mother fainted several times that night seeing me dying. And I was fighting inside with the spirts inside me. At that time when all this was happening, I thought it's the last time, its death so I started giving up. My body was ice chilled cold. But then my father-mother told me to seek God's help, utter his name, seek for his shield, he will protect you. I started taking his name with same voices coming. Suddenly those voices stopped but my condition was like I was almost dead.

My father asked me to walk with him to see priest in the neighborhood but I was not able to walk as don't feel energy in my feet. Somehow my father holds me tight, supported and took me to the priest who lived in neighborhood. Priest was already aware about my condition as the voices which came from inside me were audible up to 3 kilometers. Soon he realized that I had been in ghost's possession and actually they were more than one. He uttered some holy verses, gave me some holy water to drink and all that took around an hour or so, after which I started feeling OK.

The priest also realized that my body was completely cold and it was an evil possession. Afterwards my father took me to hospital in emergency. The doctor on field examined me, gave me dopamine injection so that I can sleep sometime. Doctor kept me in observation for an hour and then he again examined and asked us to leave as everything seems Ok. He asked to discuss the matter with senior doctor. I told senior doctor what all happened to me but he laughed aloud at me. He told me that you're young and people like you in your teens make such excuses as they want attention and money from their parents so that they can enjoy with their girlfriend.

My soul was badly hurt after listening to him. I felt very angry also, want to beat that bastard but I was helpless, poor to do anything.

None from my family including me knows how night turned into day. My father took me to one of the senior priests who deals in all that evil cure stuff. He listened to us, examined the whole matter and gave us some holy water, some holy versus and other thing to drink, eat and place at home. That whole thing continued for almost year five months. My summer vocation finished; next session started but post effects of that deadly experience haunted me very long.

I started forgetting things. My memory turned out very weak. I was not able to sleep at night due to fear that it might happen again. My neighbor made fun of me. People started talking about me whenever they saw me. I felt embarrassed. Horrible nightmares started chasing me when was slept during early morning. My whole life went down on knees. I scored only passing marks in my academics, my rank fell behind. I survived but I felt like a dead man walking.

Soon afterwards, health problems started chasing me. Due to tension, anxiety and stress, I realized that started suffering from panic attacks, high BP, high cholesterol and doctor told me all that happened due to fear and anxiety. I was on medication after that and it took around one year to get back my normal BP and cholesterol but panic attacks continued at some time.

Due to less score in my academics, I was not able to get admission in reputed institutes. In order to reach up to that level, I re-appeared in some exams and my complete year gutted.

In 2002 I got admission in my masters and then with very slow pace life started turning towards normal.

It's tough, very tough. What will you say to the people you work with? They will suspect you as a psycho or may treat you as mental. They laugh at you. And how will you explain it to science as the doctors will laugh at you. What will you do when your own parents not ready to believe in you? Who else do you expect?

Anyways, I don't know how and why I survived. Not sure why God saved me that day. People during teen age enjoy life, make career and friends, gain knowledge but I was fighting with life and death. And problem of that kind which you cannot explain to anyone as no one will understand.

We enjoy horror movies on silver screens but when it comes to real life, we thought it's not true. Either the person is mentally sick or might want attention/money or girlfriend/boyfriend issues.

Well, in my case it was not like that. I realized that I committed a sin in my teen age no matter whether intentionally or unintentionally, my deeds hurt someone very badly and so do I repay for that.

There's a universal truth no matter if anyone believes it or not and even science also finds it true which is "To every action, there's equal and opposite reaction". If we throw a ball up towards sky, it will turn back to us. So, if we are doing harm to something or someone against nature, sooner or later it will revert back on us.

I think that's what the holy books also says "So you sow, so shall you reap!"

I learned my lesson of life and guess that my teacher was death itself who taught it to me and hence I am never ever going to forgot this lesson. I also try to make my friends, near dear one's to know this fact but people don't believe in until unless something wrong really happens to them.

The point is, what price are we willing to pay for our deeds!

This is my real-life experience. You will not find it in any book or movie. I have written it from heart.

It has been now 20 years almost but still I remember as it happened like yesterday!

Jimmy