The Shelter

It was 1987. I moved from Indiana to California. I was 21 years old. I had my son with me. I was no longer married. I came out to California so that I could get away from the strong religious background I grew up in. I was raised Jehovah's Witness. I never adhered to the religion. No offense to Jehovah's witnesses, I wanted to hear about Jesus more so.

I left after I saved enough money to set up things. I visited my dad who lived in Los Angeles since 1960. He had sort of a cult going on and people from the entertainment industry were coming to get their charts read at Venice beach in the evenings. He wanted me to join this thing he put together. Some people believed him to be some sort of prophet.

One day he wanted to read my charts and set out at 6p.m. To Venice beach, CA (U.S.A.) He told me that would come back to tell me about the reading. Whenever someone reads or tells my fortune, they always become frightened and I don't know why, they never tell me. (I'm pretty comfortable with myself; I'm different in a sense, so it's ok). He came back looking frightened and puzzled. I had planned to talk with him on his return as I thought his teachings were not for me. Before he sat down I asked him what he found about me. He said nothing. I asked if he was ok because he looked frightened. I could clearly see that something was wrong. I told him that it is unfair that he'd found something out and would not tell me. I asked if I was a mean person, was that it? He would not even look me in the eyes.

I had a heart to heart talk with him explaining that I could not adhere to his teachings; I just came out of the J.W. Religion, and not a person who believes everything just because a person feels they are called or chosen to lead a group etc. I didn't mean any offense, but he grew upset and told me that I had to leave his home. I realized that my money had been stolen from my purse (by him) I was in deep trouble because I had nowhere to go. He made an evil comment. "I hope they find you in a dumpster" I could not believe he said something like that. Why was he so mad and how could he talk this way to anyone. At 12 noon the next day he reminded me to get out.

I felt like I walked right into hell when I found myself and child on skid row (down town Los Angeles) I saw literal spirits of men who belonged in a mental institution. I asked a few people why so many severely mentally ill people were out on the streets. They said something about a law that President Reagan passed where these people can no longer stay in institutions for their mental disorders. I had no idea that a law like this was passed and it was more than dangerous for anyone to be amongst most of them.

A Mexican lady who was also homeless with two little boys befriended me and smuggled me into her aunt's house in Riverside. I had to leave when the aunt found out that Maria was stealing food and milk for me and my baby. I left Indiana terminally ill. I believe in healing so of course I was not going to tell my Jehovah's Witness friends and families that I had cancer of the cervix and that the doctors gave me two years to live at the most. I wanted to be healed. I was only 21 years old, so I left Indiana with cancer regardless. Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in healing. I had to find a shelter.

Maria paid for a one way greyhound bus ticket with her last $20 for me and my child to go to Orange County, California. God bless Maria. This was an old hospital that was now a shelter. I was accepted and in need to rest. I was very ill from the terminal disease that I tried to hide.

After a few days I was made by the staff to go through emergency. An Ethiopian woman drove me to Humana hospital. The doctors tried to break the bad news that I already knew of. They wanted me to get on chemotherapy and radiation. I had no intentions of doings so; I was not receiving the disease regardless. I wanted to live without being sick.

There were three sanctified women at the shelter who wanted me to go to their Pentecostal church with them (no one knew of my illness) I turned down their offer. There were two African-American women and a Caucasian woman. They wanted everybody to get saved. I was reminded over and over that I was going to hell if I didn't go to church and be saved. I caused a lot of contention in the shelter with these three women purposely just so that they could see that they are human like everyone else.

One night I decided to lay down at 9pm. Everybody except children stayed up talking and eating until 11pm. I wanted to be alone for some reason. I kept the shelter jumping they said. I put my son to sleep and lay him in his crib. I opened the window in my room and felt the breeze as I lay on the bed gazing at the street lamp. The cool September air made this perfect. A member staff that checked on the children at 9pm cracked opened the door to my room, I saw her but pretended I was asleep.

The next day we had to go to our jobs outside the shelter and do chores for the guests who had no outside employment yet. Everybody was staring at me like I was mother Teresa. As we all congregated in the lounge for the group meeting, I asked why everybody was looking at me. One of the staff members said that she'd explain after the meeting. She smiled warmly. This lady is usually very mean. I wondered what had happened to her since yesterday when she yelled at the guest who claimed that ghosts were in the shelter. One lady said that when she went downstairs to get something (the morgue) that a spirit person punched her in the eye. She came upstairs with a swollen eye.

After the meeting the guests were still looking at me in an admirable way-like I was so holy. I was confused and I was thinking of getting out of that place soon. The staff asked me to go with them as they had something to tell me when a little boy accused me of being a ghost in his room last night

I was about to ask this child what he was talking about. He yelled this like I was a monster or something. I was in my room with my child last night trying to sleep. I was stopped by his mom and two of the staff member. The child's mom told her son, she was protecting us. So now I wanted to know what she was talking about. The staff said that this is what they wanted to explain to me. They had smiles on their faces and could not wait to tell. I asked the little boy, "Did you get hurt?" His mother demanded that he keep quiet and that I was guarding them. One of the staff said that there was a very tragic event that occurred at the shelter last night in which I broke up the activity. I didn't break up any activity I was asleep. "Listen to me, I have to explain, you are a spirit of some sort that comes against evil." "What?" "Now calm down" It's ok. It's a good thing." I calmed down and stared at them for a short second and Robin, the lady with the little boy, laughed nervously to break up this awkward silent moment.

I asked what happened. "The place where we keep donations (the old downstairs morgue), well the door slammed opened around 9pm or so and a mass of dark shadows came out. (Shadow people I believe). The presence was unbearable and there were so many of them. They came into all the staff's rooms and families' room and physically tried to kill them." They even raped some of the women. They had tied several children up in their bed sheets and tied the sheets into four corner knots. We were all screaming and crying. They only thing us staff could do was call the police. The police could not even break down the door nor break the windows to get inside. There were several footsteps upon the roof and a man was at the front door of the shelter on a bike claiming that he had some clothes to donate. (Men are no allowed in the shelter) If the police tried to break the windows of the shelter, the window that I was lying by would be the first to break because it is near the front entrance of the shelter. I didn't tell them this I was just trying to make sense of their story.

One of the staff proceeds: We were screaming out for God to help us. I interrupted, "Did anyone get killed?" "No, thank God, but Ashley had a severe breakdown and she won't be coming back." Did the police ever get inside?" "Well, you came down the hall corridor. You were all white as a solid spirit-completely white." "What?" "Yes, They were screaming here comes (my name) "I had supposedly walked into every room and the spirits were hitting the walls with what they described as a thud, running in fear. The spirits literally left the shelter through the walls and windows of what they described as running in sheer terror as I approached each room. The little boy who said I was in his room probably didn't understand what was going on. His mom said that I opened the door and said," Robin, it's alright, they are leaving. By this time some of the residents were walking up to our conversation and waiting to tell their story. Some of the women were traumatized as they were raped and stayed away from every one in seclusion. You could clearly see that they were traumatized. We decided to go into the lounge as the stories were draining my energy. I was becoming exhausted. I had to sit down to hear as much as I could. I was really shaken by their stories but I tried not to show it.

I was asked if I remembered anything that night. I explained that I had gone to bed at 9pm and I didn't hear anything. The residents looked shocked at me. I explained I was not in the halls or in their rooms. The staff and residents insisted that I was. I wanted a description of this woman who they said was me. They described her as me, but with hair down to her waist. My hair was not down to my waist then. It was to my shoulders. Odd enough, my hair is near my waist today, years later. They said she had on the same clothes that I wore, but that she was a real angel of God with a peaceful spirit. I had started all kinds of trouble in the shelter especially with the sanctified women who continuously told me that I was going to hell. I was even rebuked several times in the name of Jesus. And now I was this peaceful angel. I noticed that the three sanctified women were really quiet, so I asked one of them if I came into their room as well. "Yes, you did and I felt the Holy Spirit. This means that you are going to be saved." You better get saved now because you are evidently the chosen one. Those demons were screaming bloody murder when they saw you." The other woman adds her comments, that presence was not an evil presence. I never seen anything like this before but that was God's presence." One of the staff said the presence was of peace. I again told them I was in my bedroom and was not in the hallway. I was more concerned that someone was pretending to be me, but I thought that I shouldn't say it wasn't so since this supposed person helped them tremendously.

I departed to my room and the Caucasian lady, who was one of the three Christian ladies, grabbed my arm in excitement and says that she has to tell me something, that I would understand. She told me to come to her room in haste. I was so tired by then. I sat in the chair as she got out her black leather Bible. She said listen closely as I read you this scripture. She read a passage out of the Old Testament. I did not understand it and she gave her interpretation of it. I can't recall the scripture she read, but she said," You are one of the 40 part angel and part humans that are left on the earth." "What, they teach this in the Pentecostal church?" "No Mam, this was revealed to some people on earth." "How's that?" "The Holy Spirit speaks to some people clearly. You take this Bible. I'm giving it to you. Read it, He is going to talk to you." I took the Bible, thanked her and went to my room. "What is going on I thought."

A month later my family doctor swore I was in Jerusalem leading a tour. He had just got back from his two weeks vacation. I was one of the forty Jews that are still on earth. He claimed I spoke with him for nearly two hours. He said I lead the tour every year. I have never been out of the country (U.S.A.). I wouldn't purposely go to Jerusalem because of the fighting. He could not believe that I didn't remember him. He said that after the tour, I asked to speak with him privately of something that he didn't understand in Revelations. My doctor stared looking confused and I briefly told him that a month prior, some people had said something similar, but I don't recall being in the places that they say I was in.

He looked confused and left work early. I had gone to him because I was healed from cancer and he had me scheduled me for a hysterectomy. I remembered my last visit to him. He was upset that I allowed the cancer to get to that point without chemotherapy and radiation treatments (I refused to take). After him and several doctors examined me they became confused because they said my blood type changed from B to O positive and that all my cells were new. When the doctors left (they were looking at me like I was an alien), my doctor shut the door behind them and revealed that I was in Jerusalem. He said that there is an article in the National Geographic for August or September 1988 of this sect of Jews. He said that I will see myself in this magazine. That scared me when he said that so I never went out to purchase the 1988 edition. I looked the edition up later (years later) but I cannot find any article on a rare sect of Jews in Jerusalem. Maybe I didn't look hard enough or maybe that is another time line.