I mentioned quite a while ago some of the characters my wife and I are (were) sharing our home with (see: Crowded House). It wasn't until just a few weeks ago that I realized that something has changed. It must have been gradual because there weren't any amazing instances of doors flying open or messages written on steamy bathroom mirrors. Nothing of the like. It just feels different now.
It feels like my home is...
Empty.
When I realized this, I sat down and meditated; something I haven't done in a long time - I've just been too busy lately. But I made the time to do so a few weeks ago.
I sought out the middle-aged woman in my kitchen and dining room. I couldn't feel her there at all. The living room was also bare of activity (this explains why my keys haven't gone missing lately), and the middle bedroom, my den where I keep my computers, was devoid of anything of a spirit nature as well.
I hesitated sending my mind into the small bedroom - the one where the angry old man had been until I banished him - but I got the nerve up and searched it. There I saw something very small, very weak, and almost helpless. It seemed like a small ball of energy trying to hang on to its existence but I couldn't pin-point where exactly it was in the room. It always seemed to be the farthest away from me no matter where I moved my mind.
I 'said' "It's okay here. As long as you don't mean harm or want to cause trouble, you're welcome to stay." It was kind of odd for me because I've never actually tried to 'talk' to a spirit this way - using my mind. I've always verbally spoken what I wanted them to hear but when I 'said' this to this tiny little ball of energy, I could feel my own lips move while I was sitting on my living room floor.
Anyway, nothing seemed to have changed at all. The energy stayed small and never left that room until about a week ago.
I was sitting at my computer playing an on-line game, having a grand old time killing the bad guys (you gamers know what I mean), and I felt a finger touch me lightly on my left shoulder. Immediately afterwards it was followed by the feeling of a tall dark shape behind me - not threatening, but big in size and whatever it was said one word. "Andy". A deep male voice.
This in itself is another oddity. That is, indeed my name, but I haven't gone by it in 28 years. My wife doesn't even call me that. I consider it a four letter word (it's a personal thing, not related to anything this message board specializes in, so I won't mention why I go by Andrew now). There are only a few people alive that would call me that, and certainly a lot more that have passed on that would.
It's happened a couple of times so far, a few days apart, and everytime I turn to see who's there, there's nothing. Not even a glimpse out of the corner of my eye.
I've since meditated a second time in hopes of finding out who it is, but once again I only find that small weak spark in that small bedroom, and it keeps as far away from me as possible, no matter how reassuringly I speak to it.
There is one person that I wouldn't be surprised it being. I would certainly welcome him into my home, though the last time I saw him it was a foreboding experience (see: In The Beginning). If it IS my father, I hope it's not to send another message. If it's him to visit, he'd be greeted with open arms.
My wife and I have discussed several options of other ways to contact who this is, but I refuse to use another Ouija board or try automatic writing. That stuff just creeps me out now for some reason. There are other possibilities that I'm considering. If I do get the guts up to do something and find the results, I'll post them here.
I'm kind of nervous, really. I mean I've never actually gone out to find a spirit they've always seemed to find me.
Wish me luck.
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