The End?

My last post to this site was what I thought would be my last experience that I would record here. Even though I was sure that I would have more experiences in the future, I felt that I should live with them and just move on with life. In all honesty, I felt a bit strange and silly to be posting my experiences here. However, a few weeks ago something happened to me, and the effects of that experience plague me day and night. I have to get it out; I have to tell it. This may be my last post, or I may find myself drawn back to here again and again just to see if anyone else has experienced the supernatural in a way I have.

I have had many what we believe to be demonic encounters these past few months. The most frightening instance occurred when I realized I was not lying on my bed, but suspended in the air. I will never forget that feeling of terror as long as I live. Although each experience is different, they all have two things in common. They all never fail at scaring the crap out of me, and I always feel like I'm being shocked. However, things seem to be changing. At first, my encounters would involve just the painful shocking, but now I've noticed that they are becoming even more detailed.

Because of the intensity of my encounters, I had started having my dog, Teddy sleep in my room at night to see if things would change. There was. I found myself sleeping very well without fear of being lifted off my bed and swung around the room by a demon. I mean... Who really likes the feeling of that? Anyway, my dog was/is a good roomy when bedtime approaches. He's a big Golden Retriever who despite what the breed books say about Goldens being the worst watchdogs, defies that by being one of the best watchdogs. He usually ambles in and falls asleep right beside my bed or sometimes jumps up and tries to fit his entire 86 LB body right on top of my legs. Knowing you're not alone in the room is a comforting feeling, even if your bed buddy is oversized. Anyway, after that I did not experience anything during the night that really frightened me. However, one night I did sense that someone was coming down the hall towards my room. At first I was afraid that all of this had just been in vain and that it was going to happen with or without my dog being in the room. I waited there for a long time waiting for it to happen, but it never did. Instead, I heard Teddy sniffing the air before lifting his head and growling a deep growl at the door. He lay there looking at the door for a few minutes before he put his head down and went back to sleep. After that, I made sure Teddy slept in my room every night.

After the incident with Teddy that night, I thought it was over. I thought I would probably never have another encounter as long as I had Teddy guard my room. But I see now that that was foolish thinking. You see, I was putting all my faith in Teddy. And while Teddy is a great guard dog and a loving pet that would do anything to protect me, he has no power except what is given to him by God. Only God has the power to stop evil. Perhaps that is why He allowed the next incident to take place. Perhaps he was teaching me that even though you think you can run and hide behind things like the family pet or thoughts that lead you to believe that you can get rid of evil on your own, you are nothing. You have no special powers. God is everything, and you need his help.

I was lying on my couch down in my basement reading a book. My little brother was in the next room watching a DVD, and I could hear the TV playing. I had read for awhile, so I put the book down and decided to rest my eyes for a few minutes. I was not sleeping. I wasn't even tired. Gradually I began to feel a difference in the... I really don't know what it was that I felt. I just felt strange. Then I felt a sort of familiar feel that I feel before it happens. Well, it happened. I quickly closed my eyes and wished it to be over as fast as possible. The shocks came first. However, as I was being shocked, I started thinking. Someone I know had asked me once if I'd ever told the demons to leave or prayed that they'd never come back. I hadn't. I always thought it wrong to engage demons verbally. However, I had recently read a book by Frank Perretti where this did happen. I then concluded that there was indeed a right way to go about this. I decided to give it a try. I never tried to speak because I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to. However, I said these next few things in my head.

I started by saying things like, "I have been saved by Jesus and therefore you have no hold on me or my life" The shocking intensified. I then went on to say," You have already been defeated by Jesus Christ when he was crucified on the cross and prayed for my sins and the sins of the world, and you have no hold on me because when I was 11 years old I made a decision to accept him into my heart. I therefore have Christ in me and am equipped to tell you to leave me alone." After that it really hurt and I could barely think straight. I kept trying to say "in the name of Jesus, leave me alone" but it felt like it was blocking it. However, I kept at it. I was determined to not let Satan grip me with fear for the rest of my life. I kept trying to say that until I heard a sound I'd never heard before. I had my eyes closed and when I heard it, determined to keep my eyes closed even more since I was so scared. The sound was that of a bird's wings flapping furiously. A huge bird, perhaps because this was loud flapping. It was frightening. After a few minutes I could still hear this flapping and I decided to open my eyes. To my chagrin, there was nothing there. However, whatever it was wouldn't let me keep my eyes open for long. My eyes almost immediately closed again as if someone had closed them for me. I opened them again with the same response. I was still being shocked, but gradually it began to dissipate until finally I could open my eyes and it was as if it had never happened. The entire ordeal lasted all of ten minutes, but it seems as though it lasted hours. Afterwards, I was physically and emotionally drained.

I do not know what that flapping was. Maybe it was the demon's wings; maybe it was an angel's wings. All I know is that without God, I would have probably gone crazy a long time ago. Perhaps some of you think I am crazy. I don't think so.

Is this the end? I don't know. I would like it to stop here. I would like to never have another encounter. I would like to say this is the end. However, I know now that presumptuous thoughts like these can get you into trouble. All I can do is rest in the fact that nothing can happen to me without God allowing it to.