Comments for The Demon In The House: Page 1

RedWolf...is autocorrect a form of automatic writing? If so, I think my puter might be haunted! 😨
Ari, lies seldom make any real sense, yet truth can also be confusing at times, depending on how it's presented. That's why there's a comment section 😊
Wishful... Like Ari said, well done!
Hey! Whose bogarting all the hot wings?

Well,in fairness, no matter how diligent the mods try to be things are just going to creep through no matter how blatant they might seem to us. How many stories do y'all think get submitted weekly on the average? We know that enough get submitted that it takes time to get published. Of these we have no idea how many are rejected to begin with. We see 3 new stories appear on the site, but for all we know these could bethe top 3 out of a 100. Editing publicly written things is not the same as grading papers or 'normal' editing. Basically, because they are not being submitted by 'writers' but ordinary folk on a not so ordinary topic. Does anyone really believe that there are enough hours in a day for the background of every single story to be checked? Add to this all the work the mods do behind the scenes. Stuff that many of you are simply not privy to. Now add in something called 'Life' (I heard a rumour that mods are actally allowed to have one) That's a full plate. No wonder now and then one sneaks through. OR... Maybe it's a test to see if we're paying attention 😆

Is it wrong that I now find the Comment section of this story more entertaining the story itself?

Hope you guys enjoyed the BBQ. 😊

Hi guys
Just joining the barbeque with a very large blanket, some hot wings and some cool drinks. Oh and a pad and pen so we can do automatic writing. NOT! I don't think the O/P knows what that is. Young lady automatic writing is not writing down a question and then answering it yourself in a wide awake state. People who do this don't even realize they are doing it. Some people say that they keep a note pad by the bed and in the morning there is something written on the pad the next day. Others say they go into a trancelike state and start writing. It would be more believable if you said you went to a computer and typed are you here and then an invisible force typing the yes response.
Please don't insult our intelligence with your attempts at writing ghost stories especially if in the beginning you are going to add things that have nothing to do with the story. By the way most of us are parents. Do you REALLY expect us to believe that you had seizures when you were younger and your parents NEVER brought you to the hospital or doctor? Believe me a seizure is very frightening, my youngest son had a seizure in my arms one night. I screamed for my husband and calledthe doctor IIMMEDIATELY, got his service and they woke up one of the doctors in the practice and he told me to get to the hospital. Sounds stupid to call the doctor but that was their standard practice so they could call the hospital and tell them one of their patients were coming in. Thankfully it was only a febrile (high fever) seizure and it happened only once.
Now I'm going to take a long sip of my cool drink and lay down to await the next post.
Red

*Sipping from a glass of lemonade*

Yeaaaah...Noooo...I don't know know guys 😢
I feel sad, firstly because if the poster really is the mailman's fancy girl, then the literary skills have taken a nose dive.
Second,our mods are having such a tough time that even these are getting through,Holmes,such horrendous torture to our senses. I can make neither a proper head or tail out of the story. Its as if I see the blob.

But on the bright side, we are having a field day😁

BTW WishfulNull, kudos on the analysis pal. You nailed it 😐 (high 5 for the page full of rant)

Regards

I'll bring some quilting materials just in case the BS blanket is not big enough to cover this story!

I have to agree with all you here but hey as it was mentioned on the bottom of the story, looks like this is one of many stories that will come up. Cant wait I guess.

Nudges Ari and others - you guys coming? I think Wishful is making margaritas and I see a cooler of beers. For those under 21 we have Koolaid [laugh.
It's a BYOS BS BBQ! (Bring Your Own Silliness)

Val, Hooray! Love potato salad...let's have some drinks before dinner...I'll put the bbq chicken on the grill. Glad to have you here! 😆

Hi Wishful, like I said, in this case, there is just too much that is faulty. I mean, if your going to lie do it well. (If you're going to say Google it as proof, maybe YOU should first just to be sure it backs up your claim.)
I brought potatosalad.

Hi Val, a barbecue sounds like a lovely idea... I normally agree with you on waiting for the O/P to clear things up, but in this case, there really isn't anything that can be said at this point, that would change my gut feeling here. Call me stubborn, skeptical, or tough but regardless of writing ability (not everyone is or Has to be good at writing... To be genuine.), this has too many red flags for me. If anyone chooses to hang in there & listen to the O/P just in case she is truthful, I will not fault these kind-hearted people... But I am away, sitting at the BBQ in the park, as it were:) Welcome Andrea, Jasmine... Pull up a chair - glad you could make it! Can I get you something to drink?

When parents split up while their kids are young- not to mention the abuse on top of it, this can create a lot of emotional baggage naturally carried into adulthood. I think you and sparky are perfectly safe from the preternatural- perhaps you should speak to someone about your real, past events in life.

I agree with wishfulnull. Actually, lol I was wondering about the same things, it just doesn't feel right, and there is no logic. Like the old saying, if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, then it is one. Well this story looks fake, sounds fake, then it probably is! I don't mean to be rude to you, there are too many loose ends. Once you come back to post and answer wishfulnull's questions, things will hopefully make more sense, and we can help you, or just laugh at the pathetic-ness of your ignorant attempt to pass this off as real. Why go on a site to lie? If you want to tell stories, please don't do it here. We want to help people with real problems, not listen to this crap that sounds like a cheesy awful very low budget horror film. Once again, I apologize if this is real, but I'm having a great deal of trouble believing that it is. Please come back to answer:-)
Andrea

Wishful - you know me, I usually say,'let's give the OP a chance', but in this case... OI... Indeed the style is very familiar, but at least this has a different plot other than 'I want you.'
Knocking aside writing ability (after all not everyone who experiences something is a 'writer') I ran into the same red flags as you.
Yep... Shall we picinic or BBQ this time?

well said wishfulnull. 😆 its pathetic than a horror film...

Ps - the servants at Dundurn Castle stayed within the castle itself. There are not "houses across the street" for the maids & butlers. They were IN the castle, just in case they were needed. I did as you suggested and Googled it. 🤔

This is from the webpage:

The servants of Dundurn Castle also enjoyed the modern amenities of the house and had some of the best working conditions of the day. The butler for example had a bedroom on the main floor with fine windows overlooking the lawn towards the bay.

The gas lighting and running water luxuries of Dundurn extended to the extensive servants quarters in the basement. In addition to this, the basement has many large windows into most of the rooms and was painted white.

Dundurn's cook enjoyed a private bedroom and an unlimited beer ration in return for very long days taking care of not only Sir Allan's family and dinner guests but the servants as well. The servants dining room also has two bedrooms for the female servants off the far end. The men slept out in the coach house.

The scullery maid's nook provided running water and a large window bringing in sunlight.

There is a large laundry room, luggage storage room, wine and beer room, a cold cellar for holding large blocks of ice, other storage rooms, a vault for Sir Allan's papers and a large kitchen.

The kitchen has both a fireplace hearth for roasting meats and a large cast iron wood stove for cooking and baking. On the day I took my tour, the historic cook tour guide offered us all some excellent shortbread.

In the days of servants, the manor house had a system of bells that rang in the servants quarters. At Dundurn these bells are in the kitchen and each one has a different tone to indicate which room in the mansion it was coming from.

Hello cpachecoxo, This story... Strikes me as suspiciously overly-dramatic, and it reads as a teen-movie thriller,

"Dee looked at me strangely and I wrote down the first question: "are you here?" Of course it answered "yes."

Your writing style seems extremely familiar to me... I will be curious to see if the other "regulars" agree with me on this...

Nevertheless, I have some questions perhaps you can clarify.
1. Why do you mention your fiance, if none of the story has anything to do with him?
2. As for your "seizures", that you can't remember - which type of seizures were they? You say "They triggered seizures sometimes at night". What "they" are you talking about, and if you do indeed get seizures, have you had this verified by a professional, and are you not on anti-seizure medicine to prevent this? I find it pretty hard to believe your parents saw you having seizures and somehow downplayed it as "being sick" and weren't rushing you to the ER.
3. Was your father preparing to move, or was he staying "for the puppy"? Do you mean to say that because your grandmother didn't want a dog, he changed his plans? Why didn't he just take it to a no-kill shelter, or better yet, give it to another family? It doesn't make sense financially, to support an entire household for years, because you don't want to give away a puppy. Also, why did you include all of this detail in your story, that doesn't pertain to what happened in any way?
4. When Dee arrived, why do you say, "luckily" it was her who arrived. Who else would it possibly be? You were the one who invited her over, were you not?
5. Your friend Dee asked you to recall what you remembered of your nightmares, and you say "I threw my hands up into the air, wondering what she was up to." Ummm...well, you said that right before this, she "stood up, mentioning that we should move out of the room and into the computer room to do some research". So, why were you confused about what she wanted? Seems like a pretty silly reaction to something obvious.
6. So, you do research, and the only 2 options you come up with, are "a demon, or a poltergeist"? Huh. All that happened so far was a puppy acting up, bad dreams, and uncomfortable feelings, and you "narrow it down" to those two options? Come on, really?
7. So now you go for the automatic writing, but first you just oh, so CASUALLY toss in that your father beat your mother (then why were you staying with him) AND that your mother went blind. Oh, AND it was all somehow "connected" to you feeling like you were watched, bad dreams, and your dog acting up... Hm, perhaps after witnessing domestic violence, the dreams, uncomfortable feelings & dog acting skittish could be attributed to STRESS in the household? Nah, that's way too far-fetched...lets call it demons instead.
8. So, you just, pow - write down the first question, and -zap, you get an answer. Wow! Its as easy as tossing a ball...hey,look at that! You look at your friend & the dog for verification, and you "knew it must have worked". Really? Why didn't you just look at the page sitting right under your hand?
9. So, you hear a bang, and then scratching, but you think the scratching is your puppy..."stretching" under the couch. Does your dog make scratching noises on the floor when he stretches? Mine never did. How high did your couch sit, that a puppy would have room to stretch underneath it?
10. So then, you were BOTH in the kitchen hear a noise, and find a chef knife at the stairwell, and "Mammon" was written on the wall. (Let me guess... It was written in *gasp!...blood?) So, you both run around grabbing things, she goes home... And why didn't you leave with her? If you were both 13/14, then someone drove there to pick her up... Why didn't you just explain to her parent or whoever it was, that you were scared to be alone, and ask to go with them? What was the point of "grabbing important things and shoving them into a bag", including stuff for your dog, if you weren't planning on leaving? So, all that happened, you grabbed all your stuff, your friend left, and then you wrapped yourself up in a blanket & fell asleep? Pretty amazing that you just fell asleep after all that. How the heck did your Dad not notice writing at the bottom of the stairwell of his own house, for a month and a half?

I'm calling it - there is simply too much that doesn't add up, from the style, to needless bits of "information" - "You can search for it on Google", to overly-dramatic events & conversations that make no sense. I resent you using this site for fictional writing practice. 😠