Comments for A Clash Of Personalities: Page 1

Biblio,

Ha-ha, it's not me being attuned to your fandoms at all! You know how you wrote below that your wife says you say nothing loudly? Well, you write loudly too.

Have you ever read a document where you hover over the markers and annotated comments show up in lil' balloons? That's what your comments are like. They have basically these annotated energy pockets or balloons that contain concepts, emotions and/or imagery. I suspect you add these by putting so much energy into your comments first by careful thought and secondly by careful proofreading. I do the same thing, so yeah, I know how much time and effort it takes! I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds reading your comments to be quite an immersive experience!

Speaking of those energetic annotations, there's one on the footnote of your last posting. I kind of went back and forth on whether to say this, but here goes. Have you ever been evaluated for bipolar disorder? That one trait of spending sleepless nights in a workshop is by no means indicative - nothing could ever be diagnosed from one symptom. But the annotated comment held that buzzing frantic energy of a manic phase, and there are echoes behind it of the exhaustion that follows that just feel like bipolar. I really hope you don't take that amiss; I mean, I've never even met you, right? Feel free to write me off as an internet crackpot.

That leads me to another thought. Through my lurking on YGS, I have come to notice a pattern. Many posters here who self-report on empathic abilities, psychic abilities, or other sensitivities also at some point report childhood trauma. There have been discussions before here and elsewhere about where the line between mental illness and paranormal experience lies; is it that those who are neurologically different are for some reason more open, or is it delusion? The answer, as much as their can be one, seems to be some of column one, some of column two. However, psychological research has also been delving into links between childhood trauma and mental illness. Sometimes, if there is already a genetic proclivity as with bipolar disorder, it can be activated by childhood stress. Others, as with DID, childhood trauma can be the sole causative factor. To me, that suggests a triumvirate correlation and I wish it could be empirically investigated.

I had always looked at you as something of an odd exception, since every comment I've seen regarding your childhood seemed positive. The mention of why your energy fields formed as they did is the first hint of traumatic impact, along with that workshop comment... And that was like, aha, there's the triumvirate.

This is the loosest of theories, but nevertheless I would truly enjoy hearing your thoughts on it.

Cheers

Ladydarke:

You're scarily attuned to the fictions I love! Last year, I made myself an arc-reactor chestplate (led bulbs, 4" circular mirror, aluminum housing, & a harness made from a pair of elastic suspenders) and wore it to school under a sarcastic t-shirt & a blazer. I wore my (prescription) sunglasses all day & drank about 8 bottles of Virgil's Cream Soda 😁. Students loved it. (see footnote for further thoughts on the Tony Stark parallel.)

As far as the fields go, yes, some of the images are damn close, especially the spherical expansion & movement part. They're so obviously connected & integrated with each other, but can move apart, glide past/through each other, and --this verb sounds more chaotic than I need, but it's the closest I can get-- reshuffle.

I've never really thought of the fields as wind or as water (which is odd because I'm an autumnal sort of person). They've been a bit like sails in the breeze, more so than wind. They've always "looked" like the layered holographic panels floating in the air without support, though they have always seemed to be "anchored" in orbits around my torso as a default position. This *also* seems odd to me, as I spent years living inside my head; when I recall reshuffling them deliberately to retain heat (which I'm stating in complete defiance of the laws of thermodynamics and in the knowledge I've moved past "odd" into "weird") it has always been my torso I'm protecting. When I'm angry enough to need to project the energy, there's a sense of tightening the energy inward first, before emitting it either in a focused horizontal cylinder toward an individual, or like an expanding spherical pressure wave when I've reached the limits of my patience.

I strongly suspect that my sense of the energies as translucent orbital planes --in-both clockwise & counterclockwise formations-- is because of various childhood issues with one parent in particular. I think that at an early age I was wide open, but I needed to cope with a great deal of that parent's emotional trauma, so I had to bring everything else under tight control to maintain a sense of stability/sanity.

I've never tried studying Reiki; I suppose it's because I'd never thought of my energy fields/shields were particularly well-attuned to others. I'll try to find a good opportunity to try the hand exercise as soon as is practical (Grades are due, so it's a bit chaotic at the moment.)

I'll update you as to how events progress, but I need to get 6 hours of sleep. Sorry if I missed a question or two, but my brain's unwinding as it prepares to drift off.

Thanks for the feedback & suggestions, Ladydarke.

Best,
Biblio.

_________________
Possible over-sharing: In Iron Man 3, Tony & Pepper have an argument about his hiding in the workshop and tinkering because he can't sleep. My wife & I seriously stopped watching the movie & stared at each other in stunned silence. We've had that argument about 25 times in 17 years; it was just plain weird watching someone else do it. The terrifying part is, like Tony Stark (entertaining, erratic, abrasive, sarcastic showman that he is) my entire world would fall apart without her playing Pepper Potts and coping with everything.

Hey again, Biblio,

Been digesting your energy fields comment for a while now. Not sure I have anything particularly meaningful to add, but this I wanted to say: dude, the visualization of your fields is so Stark Industries! Also entirely different from how I've thought of my own field (singular).

Your description of the sliding plates and how you use them immediately conjured up something like this for me -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRi1dmFgRfo

Just curious: is that anything like how you see your energy fields in your mind's eye?

I also find it intriguing how the shape of the fields has led you to use them, how the form and functionality seem blend together in such a natural way for you.

Be honest with you, it had never occurred to me to use my own energy in such a manner, and the reason is almost certainly tied in with form. It has likewise never occurred to me that my energy field has a shape, boundary, or, for that matter, finity.

I hear echoes of Descartes, "I think, therefore I am." I'm not inclined towards physics unfortunately, but I understand quantum theory tends to agree with that. Maybe you have multiple fields because that's the form you visualized. Maybe I have no edges because I didn't conceive any. If so, either one of us could likely reorder our energy in any way we imagined.

I took level one Reiki training once and the class got to practice on each other. You're supposed to put your hands right on the patient while you channel universal energy into them, the key being that you don't direct how it's used, you just give and their own higher self or whatnot conducts their healing. Anyway, I found that touching a person directly was too much and sticking my hands right into their energy field overwhelmed any nuance. For me, it worked much better to find their borders, usually anywhere from 6 - 12" above their bodies, and it was pretty cool to have that chance to find the topography, the contours, sinkholes, currents and such, in each person's energy field. There's fuzz going out beyond that border, but within was the most intense/solid part, sort of like a yolk inside the white of an egg. At least, that's how it feels to me. It was possible to feel chakras, the condition of the chakra, and find disruptions and blockages in flow just by touch. Generally it's pretty unusual to get permission to explore someone's energy field that thoroughly.

Have you ever had a chance to try? Also, have you tried the exercise where you sit with a person, put your hands palm-to-palm but several inches apart, then shut your eyes and tune into the other person. They move their hands, and the goal is to keep your hands together without opening your eyes just by following the energy. I'd be curious what would happen if you tried it with your wife. You're the sensitive one, but also the one with the powerful fields: so does that mean she'd actually have no trouble finding/following you just because you're so strong?

Curious here: do you see your shields as being a function of the moving plates or is it a different layer entirely from your energy field?

Would you liken the energies around you to feel more like water or wind?

Cheers

Thanks, elfstone!

I am, by long habit, someone who endures. I'll put up with a great deal of b.s. And stress, grumble exasperatedly about it, make a joke, and keep going. When a situation -as you've seen here- pushes one button too many, I really lose my temper. Most of the people I know are accustomed to my (good-natured) sarcastic grousing paired with kindness & patience, but when I have had enough, **everyone** knows about it! Letting it all out in one go can be a surprisingly cathartic experience. 😉.

Best,
Biblio.

I love this! My "fight or flight" response pretty much always flips straight to fight too. I think, when you're normally cheerful and easygoing, the sheer shock of seeing you lose your temper adds to the effect it has on people and, apparently, other-worldly entities.

Mack, Pragya, and Veil:

Thanks for the supportive comments! I write, edit, and re-edit my experiences to ensure that I'm as clear as possible, and I wasn't 100% convinced that this story was as clear as it needed to be. The fact that each of you enjoyed how it is written is very reassuring.

Thanks again,
Biblio.

Damn smiley face at the end of my comment didn't work
:) there you go!

Biblio, a paranormal account that entices smiles, giggles and general feelings of well being, what talent! Be proud

hi Biblio, the story was indeed interesting. You are a wonderful writer have a distinct style. Hope to get some bestsellers from you in future.:)

Hi Biblio

I really enjoyed your recount - extremely well written and very amusing! I particularly enjoyed your tirade at the tapping entity.😆

Cheers

Mack

Hi there, BGP!

One of the delightful consequences of studying literature is the awareness the mechanics of language. English is replete with diverse and colorful descriptions which are certain to distress or to offend almost anyone. I have found that anger can fuel creativity in this regard, and I'm afraid I take a perverse pleasure in creative sustained expletives and derisive descriptions without repetition.

I'm glad that you enjoyed playing along, filling in the blanks. 😁

Take care,
Biblio.

Greetings, ladydarke:

I don't know if you've looked at my profile page, but you've been on my "favorite posters" list for a long time with good reason; though you don't often comment upon narratives, when you do enter into the discussion your words carry the weight of serious thought.

Your point about the space having been a hallway makes a great deal of sense. Before the internal subdivisions, there must have been another door either at the base of the internal staircase (thus in the space now occupied by the shower unit) or immediately to the right of the entrance to the bathroom from the kitchen. The former of these options seems the most likely, and that may have created an energetic cul-de-sac, hampering the natural flow of space and energy; a permanent eddy in the swirl of a populated apartment building. I hadn't considered the mythology surrounding Djinn before, though they are essentially genii loci. The ill-advised nature of some of the structural alterations may have trapped some of the structure's energy where it would stagnate, isolated from the normal awareness of daily life.

I do understand the difficulty of trying to explain energetic experiences without becoming entangled in cumbersome diction. My spatial/energetic awareness is far from being a finely-tuned skill; however, I can detect gradients. It's similar to riding in the passenger seat of a car with my arm out the window on a warm day; every time I tilt my arm, the resulting lift or descent is a physical pressure. When I can sense energy the atmosphere becomes more dense (more "downhill") in negative situations. I didn't realize what these gradients were until I read about energy sensitivity; one of the things I have done for years when I'm in a cold breeze is I re-arrange my personal energy fields (they've always seemed to be plural to me, rather like sliding layers) to keep the cold at bay. I have, on more than one occasion, felt myself employing a variation of this phenomenon rather like a battering ram when I'm inordinately angry, though I've not always directed my anger toward the source of negativity, which leaves me in a state of inconsolable regret. (I'm beginning to see the wisdom of requiring a vocabulary specific to discussion of this field/resonance/energy experience.) Others have noticed this capacity, too; my wife, on more than one occasion, has told me, "You can say nothing louder than anybody else." She doesn't even need to see me to know that there's a buildup of energy.

I hadn't considered the possibility that the second manifestation was a separate entity. Yes, those years were filled with upheaval and chaos, so I may have attracted the attention of a completely different entity, but the sense of pressure was similar to that of the first manifestation. When I reflect upon it, though, it did seem less self-assured, less certain of its own presence, if that makes any sense. I shall consider this further.

Thank you for the comparison to one of my favorite Joss Whedon characters. I do wear waistcoats and neckties at school, and -like Giles- when I decide it's time to "take arms against a sea of troubles" it's because I fully intend to "end them." (Quoting "Hamlet" seemed fitting 😊.)

I appreciate your well-founded points, ladydarke, and I thank you for sharing your personal knowledge to provide context.

Best,
Biblio.

Thanks, Tweed!

Big grin here!

I freely admit I started off worried/concerned about the noise, but as it progressed around the room, my naturally disgruntled nature took over; I hate it when I get the impression that someone/something thinks it can out wit me. Sure, there are people who've done it, and fair play to them, but I will NOT put up with that sort of BS from anyone in *my* kitchen. (When I cook, I become absolutely terrifying if my mashed spuds are taking longer to cook than my grilled chops!)
😉

Biblio.

Thanks for this Biblio!

I love the "nuclear option" attitude and you left the door wide open for the, not really subtle nuanced descriptions of what you said. I filled in the "blanks" and lmao!😆

Obviously, rage conquered fear and in situations like this, imo, should be deployed first! 😆

Hi Biblio,

First time commenting on one of your stories 'cause I've just never felt like I had anything relevant to say before. Anyway, just because it's an established tradition, I thought I'd throw onto the table the old belief - Eastern in origin and I think largely associated with Jinn - that dark spirits hang out in "unclean places" like burial grounds and cesspits and such, though it also includes ruins. A modern equivalent would be the bathroom, and it does seem there are a lot of stories of haunted bathrooms, including yours.

What I'm actually commenting for is that yes in my own experience, I've indeed sometimes picked up on presences in out of the way corners - closets, cubbies, basements, and so forth - but not always. Your story got me thinking about why; what it would feel like to exist as energy. I'll start by explaining that, although I consider myself an empath in the metaphysical sense of the word, I am also energy sensitive. I don't just sense emotions from people, I feel their energy in the form of static, or temperature, or electric tingles. A lot of people talk about empathy, but it seems there isn't much dialogue about energy sensitivity, I suspect because there is no vocabulary with which to discuss it. Everything has to be painstakingly described. I also expect that once someone does go the laborious route of explaining and defining everything, lots of people will recognize that they've felt the same.

Anyway, getting on with that description, going among crowds isn't just about churning tides of emotion, it's the energy. Malls are bad, but its random chaos. Worse are groups of people who are there to meet and make new friends, and thus are actively broadcasting their energy. Things like wearing black help (sort of seems to absorb or deflect it), or keeping near windows (transfers some of it outside). There are also palpable currents in energy, which in my mind I usually liken to those in water but as we are land-based creatures perhaps it would be better to draw a parallel to air currents.

This can be overwhelming enough for someone like me, but I have a buffer of flesh. I can also go home, create my own environment and be comfortable in it. Imagine being energy yourself: no flesh buffer, no ability to manipulate your physical space to meet your needs. Being in those currents would be like being buffeted by constant wind. Perhaps what those "unclean" out-of-the-way places represent is shelter. An attic, a closet, bathroom, under the bed: those are places the living don't so often go, where they may visit but don't stay to emit energy or stir it up. These places are in the lee. They're also classic haunt spots.

Taking that thought a step farther: you've probably heard the tenet of magical theory that intent is what counts? I can tell you from in my own experience that when people make promises they mean, it invokes a wash of tingling energy. Intent is palpable on an energetic level. So are emotions. When someone is angry, it's not just picking up on their feelings: energetically, it can range from shooting a laser to dropping a nuke. A blow up like yours would probably drive me away too, even if it wasn't aimed at me, especially linked with the "get out" intention.

About the trapped and confined feeling you and your wife both picked up on: you had mentioned major remodeling and that the bathroom seemed like it might have once been a hall. Do you think there was some lingering entity who'd once lived in an apartment that no longer has an exit? Maybe that hall led out and it doesn't anymore? Did the trapped feeling disappear along with the oppressive atmosphere after you had banished it? If so, then maybe your banishment actually did the entity an inadvertent favor by getting it forcefully untrapped.

Are you sure the second one you saw was the same entity? It kind of sounds shadow-person-like. Had there been any sort of upheaval going on in your life at the time that may have drawn a second entity in?

You know, I've always pictured you as being much like Giles in his Watcher days: benign, learned, endlessly patient. This story only cements it: you are so Giles, you even have his Ripper dark side.

Enjoyed your experience, appreciate your grammar and precise phrasing, and always admire the erudition of your comments. Thanks for sharing.

Bibliothecarius, I see, wage slaves hey? If that is the case, I see what's going on then. Well, anyhow I don't think you would need to worry, as time goes things will be weaker as nature goes. Those in my opinion would not over-whelm human unless that person is really really weak, yes, I meant energy and things. The negative energy might still be there that is why some people will feel uncomfortable. I hope that helped alittle.

Blessing from São Paulo

E.Lynx

Ha! Hell yes, nicely done Biblio!

This is a perfect example of how yelling/swearing/vibing the house down serves as a paranormal pesticide, ensuring crap never progresses or gets out of hand.

When you began describing the tapping and how it moved about in the kitchen I got soo worked up worried/scared/angry blerugh! But then it seems you matched its energy/will or whatever, and ta-dar! No more tapping BS.

Casting a shadow on the shade, what a lameo. You should've turned the light on and cast a shadow right back at him with your middle finger.

LOVED THIS! 😆

Hi, roylynx:

The house was built somewhere around 1890-1910, which means it was too late to be involved in slavery (or the underground railroad) per se, but the term "wage slaves" was applied to immigrants who would take any available factory job for money and who would tolerate horrible living conditions while trying to save up to provide their children with a better life.

Three was a very dark & creepy basement in the older half of the building, but it had an outside entry as well as the indoor staircase (opposite my front door, and parallel to the back half of my bathroom!). I don't think that actual slaves would, in this case, account for the experiences, but the "triple decker" homes which were built all over New England around that time were designed to hold the maximum number of people in the smallest possible space without turning into the tenement slums which plagued New York, Philadelphia, Boston, etc.

Best,
Biblio.

This reminded me of when I got remarried and moved up to Michigan to live until my husband retired from a federal penitentiary. He had put 28 years in and decided to take the easiest shift the last two years before retiring. That of course left me home alone at night. It would start around 10-11pm at night. I would hear tapping & knocking on the walls and the lights would turn on and off by themselves. I tried to get some history on the house but was unsuccessful. We lived right on a lake. My mom told me that homes near large bodies of water had more activity so I thought that might be what it was. One night the tapping started just outside of our bedroom wall. I was sick and tired of being scared and I yelled at it and told it to stop in Jesus name right now! I never had anymore problems, not even a peep.

Very interesting, this kind of made me think that some parts of the house might be a "slave house" back hundreds of years ago; most had a harsh condition for a person to have their life in. Yes, somewhat like a cell. I don't know if it's just me but I have a feeling that the house itself still is attracting the spirits of those whom were captured.

I don't know why I had images of some slave house while I was reading your story.

Love from São Paulo

E.Lynx

Greetings, all.

I've got an addendum to the narrative, here:
Once she'd read this, my wife reminded me that the bathroom in that apartment was always cold and it was so confined that it felt like cell. Apparently, she had felt trapped in there every time she visited for the weekend.
Just further information for discussion.
Best,
Biblio.