This is my very first time writing on this site, but have been reading some of the entries and I am hoping to get some direction and guidance. I have a few real to my heart experiences to share with you all but before I do that let me tell you why I am writing this.
I just turned 40 and the last few years have been quite difficult for me and my family. I am married with 2 young children that I feel are gifted in the paranormal kind of way which now that I think of it all children are! Anyways, I need some help as I feel this black cloud over my family. Especially in the last few years.
In real short, my mom and dad have had tough luck in health (brain tumor, colon cancer), I also lost my best friend to cancer after 3 years of fighting it. It's important to explain that we were extremely close and were like soul sisters and I have lost my way in many ways since she left. I was with her almost every day in the last months and sat by her bed when she passed! It's been a year but I still can't breath without her.
Let me continue listing a few of our difficulties: I had 3 miscarriages and lost our home in this tough economy. My husband and I lost our jobs and now filing for bankruptcy. I know everything I just described could be just LIFE, but in the bottom of my gut I feel I need help. Difficult times bring stress and puts strains on relationships and boy my husband and I are really struggling there.
We basically just moved to my parents' house as we can't afford to live anywhere else. We now are both employed with good jobs, but still struggling. Anyways, my parents asked us to move with them and get back on our feet and save a little before renting a place of our own. Now there is something about this house that is giving us grief. I can hear voices at night. Sounds like people talking and at times chanting. Years ago before I got married and lived with my parents, I had many mini paranormal experiences here.
They include: Once I saw a black smoky cloud that came over my head and hovered a bit as I was laying down then as quickly as it came, it left which scared me as it didn't feel good at all. I also always felt and heard someone sitting on the bottom of my bed every morning I woke up which felt like it was protecting me. I could hear it breath and there was an outline of it sitting on my bed. I used to tell my mom and she believed me and it just felt good.
One night when I was staying with my fiancé, my parents heard someone coming in our home and put down what sounded like a luggage and go into the kitchen and open the fridge. They thought it was my younger brother and then found out he never came home that night!
One night as I was driving home I was looking around and thinking there are shadow people all over (not that I could see them but felt them for some reason) and when I got to our street I asked out loud, "who is here as I can feel you all. Give me a sign". Well, they did as the electricity went out on the entire street right after a big spark of light at the end of the street. I pulled up in the parking lot terrified. I said, "thank you and can you please bring back the electricity now?" Well, it came back. I then went in the house and prayed.
I really think there is something about either this house or my family now. There isn't a day that goes by without drama! Never good. I really feel like something is wrong. I have nightmares of loosing my kids. Of discombobulated body parts. Of the end of the world...
A quick history: I grew up with many wonderful paranormal experiences. From hearing voices in my ears, to knowing what the future brings, visiting deceased family members in my dreams, being visited in my wakefulness by my grandmother and feeling unbelievable amounts of love, and the list goes on which I will write about later. My husband in other hands is intimidated by what he does not understand so we don't talk about these things much. He however has been having nightmares and night sweats lately too! I even had him go get a full physical and he did and is fine.
I should also state that since all these life changing/tragic things in my life specially loosing my friend, I have lost my belief in so much. I have lost my faith and my ways. I have not been able to have any contact with her since she passed. I am a little angry and very disappointed in myself and in life. I can't feel her or see her, or even hear her. I only had a couple of dreams about her and that was not enough for me. I need to connect with her just once. What do I do?
I also think my parents house needs a cleansing and more... So much trauma happens here. From little thing to big things. Flat tires and cars breaking down, to loosing things around the house such as shoes and clothes, strange smells like mold and gas (which I have had someone come and check for both and we should be in the clear), feeling really tired and frail, and lots and lots of physical pain. My entire household (mom, dad, my hubby, me, and my two little kids) constant pain. Headaches (lots of headaches), joint pain, exhaustion, and flues, and colds... This feeling of constant FEAR. I mean I know I am broken inside and FEAR has taken me over a bit, but my husband and parents too?
Again, I know this is life but when it happens constantly and people around you just are puzzled I must question things... I mean when people ask me how is life, I don't want to tell them because it's always BAD. Please understand deep in my heart I am so very grateful for so much. I love my two heavenly children and blessed to have my parents and I love my husband. ALL GOOD.
For example, my mom has pneumonia right now and my daughter has had a cough for 3 months and she is only 20 months which I just started her on antibiotics. My son is also sick and he is 4 years old, plus my dad is experiencing deep depression after his cancer treatment. Even my doctor is puzzled!
I think there is something going on in my parent's house and I need guidance. I am open to ideas and I have an open heart to good people and energy. I used to work along side of this talented energy healer a few years ago which made a positive impact on my life so I trust my intuition and know I need to shed some light and I mean literally in my household and get rid of something negative and evil.
Thank you for reading and I hope it wasn't too scattered and made sense.
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