I have been aware of otherworldly influences in my life as far back as I can remember. One particularly unnerving experience that stands out from among the rest involves myself as a latch-key kid. Moments after arriving home from grade school each afternoon I would make a wild dash to the upstairs kitchen and grab onto a nearby chair. Then huddling inside a small space between the electric range and food pantry and with my back to the wall I would slide the chair towards me until I was completely defended on all four quadrants against what I perceived to be several dark and bulky entities skulking menacingly above my head, close to the ceiling, and mercifully outside the limits of my ordinary physical vision.
I inwardly sensed these beings were watching me intently; watching with cold clinical indifferent but purposeful eyes. Notwithstanding, I remained at my post until either one of my sisters or a parent came home to break the unearthly spell. Oddly as quickly as someone would arrive home, and perhaps because I had been so used to doing this, I just as quickly forgot about the invisible entities and the fear which would course through my veins as I sat alone, crouched down inside my hastily assembled fortress.
Years later I began to read some of the stories in my dad's boxed collection of sci-fi and horror books. Among the many authors represented in that collection one name especially caught my eye: H.P. Lovecraft. It was only after I began to read two or three stories by this writer that I came to the realization the entities he describes in his other-worldly horror fictions perfectly meshed with my own perception of the dark entities which had so haunted my past. Fiction? At least I could truthfully state that Lovecraft and myself were witness to the same imaginative horrors. From whence cometh the shared seed of these thoughts and feelings? They had to be real; they resonated as real.
To this day I can sense them. Unchanging, brooding, waiting.
Much later on in my early teens, I lay in bed one night gazing up at the stars through a nearby bedroom window. As I continued to focus on only one lone speck of motionless light, I suddenly began to feel more tired than usual. Nevertheless, I remained wide-eyed and transfixed on that distant twinkle for about 30 minutes when suddenly it began to move slowly away as if in retreat until it was finally out of view. I thought to myself that it must have been some sort of space vehicle returning back home. Why did I think that? I then fell warmly asleep without further incident.
These were the years of regular nightmares and unaccountable frights. Quite often I would be half awake in bed and unable to move as a loud buzzing noise, like a swarm of bees, would pound away at my eardrums. At the same time I felt as if a thick warm syrupy yet invisible liquid was being poured over my entire paralyzed body.
On another occasion I was sleeping in the same room as my dad when in an instant I was abruptly enwrapped by what appeared to be a continuous vertical column of very bright blue light. This light had the exact same color and quality as one sees in a perfectly tuned flame of natural gas and it extended from the area of my body up towards the ceiling directly above my bed. Although I was evidently completely inside this light, it appeared to me that the outside edges of the beam were very well defined; as if the whole thing were a projection shining down on me through a geometrically precise man-made hole. I couldn't move and began to scream in abject horror. My dad immediately awoke, sat up and throwing his blanket aside demanded to know what was happening. His concerned words and emotional tone broke the dark spell because my frightening journey into places unknown was quickly terminated. The rest of the night was normal, calm but disquieting.
It was during an otherwise quiet day that I chanced to stick my head out the kitchen window to gaze at an overcast sky above when suddenly an unusual trilogy of aircraft invaded my overhead field of view from behind the visible overhang of the eaves trough. Flying at a rapid rate of speed and relatively low as far as commercial aircraft aught to be, I witnessed what appeared to be a giant flying wing escorted by much smaller military jets, one on either side. The wing had a slightly brownish tinge to it with edges that appeared quite noticeably rounded and black in color. The only sound I heard was the familiar rushing noise created by other low flying jets of the time. I concluded that it was some kind of new test vehicle from a local military airport located across the river from where I lived. I never saw such a craft again.
There used to be a very well dressed and behaved street gang that would daily meet kitty-corner to the front door of my home. One evening about dusk I took my low power telescope outside to look at some stars. This attracted their attention and from a distance they began to shout their interests in astronomy and ask different questions. Somehow the topic changed to the subject of UFO's and they wanted to know if I believed in such things. I responded by saying that you could probably look up into the sky anytime and see one flying by. No sooner had I spoke those words and turned my eyes heavenward when I witnessed a very fast moving double-V formation of bluish white pulsating lights speed along in a southeast to northwest corridor. It was not a single craft as the background sky was still visible behind them at all times. Their individual outlines were not well defined at all and seemed more like blobs without identifying features. They flew at an altitude that I would have to say was medium for a jet, not cruising height but not approach level either. There were at least 7 of these lights per single formation with no detectable exhausts, vapor trails or noise. They continued to stay in very tight formation throughout the entire observation. I pointed in their direction as I cried out for the gang to witness the event with me, but by the time they could orient themselves to peer skyward, the lights were well past any visible horizon. If I had to guess at the speed of these things, I would have to say they were traveling about three times the speed a military jet of that period and at that altitude might travel. When first viewed, each light was about the size of a pea at arms length with extended finger.
Many years later I discovered that what I witnessed that night was commonly known as the Texas Lubbock Lights formation type. An alleged photo taken of the original sighting in Texas exists online.
When I was 18, I rode my bicycle to where my sister and her boyfriend were babysitting. It was late at night and cloudy but dry. My sister offered me some vodka to drink and as I had never had any liquor before, I agreed to imbibe a tall plastic tumbler full of the intoxicating beverage. The night wore on and the effects of the drink took hold. At some point I began to sense, straight through the solid material of the ceiling at that home, an elemental presence in the turbulent dark rolling clouds above. To me (but possibly due more to the vodka than anything else), those clouds seemed in my mind's eye to have a glistering appearance and oddly, very fine gold edging. Again, and only sensing these clouds from inside the house, they would move as if under intelligent control. These clouds were more like enfolding black and gray masses than anything else, alive and writhing. This sense of a living sky above me would come back to haunt my life for many years afterward.
As of this writing I am sixty years old. My life has been full of events such as the ones I have attempted to describe above.
I figured out what's going on with it all but you'll have to wait for my book to reveal that!
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