It's been about 30 years ago, when I was 13, but I remember this story like it was yesterday. I was a somewhat rebellious teenager and had always been interested in the supernatural. In addition to doing "typical" rebellious teenage things like sneaking out, skipping class, etc I also started listening to heavy metal music and still do. The difference at that point in my life is that I started getting deeper and deeper into devil worshiping music, NOT Satanic. I was raised as a Christian and still attended church on most Sundays due to my parents "forcing" me to go. I never believed that much which is part of the reason I think I started going down the path I took.
The more I listened to these bands and lyrics the more fascinated I became with the occult, specifically devil worship. Being the dumb and naive kid I was, I began "praying" to Satan. I had no idea what I was doing, I would just close my eyes and pray to him. I would ask for things that were on the more sinister side, which I won't discuss, and I would ask for him to reveal himself to me or show me a sign that he could "hear" me.
Over the course of a few months I literally began to feel myself change mentally. I began having more and more evil thoughts and I started fighting with my parents (who were great parents) more often. I knew I wasn't my normal self but I also justified everything in my head to normalize my thoughts and actions. The more evil I felt, the harder and more often I prayed to Satan until one night and morning changed me to this day.
It was a school night so I said my normal nighttime "prayers" before going to bed. Sometime around 2-3 a.m I awoke from a deep sleep. I wasn't having any nightmares or dreaming, I just suddenly woke up with a strong feeling that something or someone was watching me. It wasn't a good feeling in the slightest bit, whatever it was felt evil and malicious. I didn't feel any temperature changes and didn't hear a thing, it was just a feeling. I was in bed, facing the wall so my back was turned towards my bedroom door. I was scared but I had to look to hopefully calm myself down and realize it was all in my head. I slowly rolled over and standing in my doorway was the silhouette of a man wearing a suit and a fedora type hat holding a briefcase. Although I couldn't see his facial features clearly I could vaguely see the outline of a neatly trimmed beard as well. Based on my doorway, I would estimate he was 5'10 or so. He just stood there staring at me so I rolled over and closed my eyes, scared to death but I still felt his presence.
I wasn't dreaming and I never went to sleep for the rest of the night. Hours later I finally rolled back over and he was gone but the door was still open. Since it was a school day, I needed to take a shower which was downstairs. I was still so scared about what I may see around every corner that I literally ran to the shower and went as fast as I could. As hard as I tried, I could never even close my eyes because I was afraid of seeing him again and I was afraid of what I might see after opening them.
I ran back up stairs to my brother's room, who slept across the hall from me, and wouldn't leave his side which was extremely unusual for me. I asked him if he heard anything that night or ever got up for any reason and he denied it, I could tell he wasn't lying. He began to know something wasn't right with me based on my actions, questions and probably how I looked. I can't remember what I said when he asked what was wrong but it wasn't the truth.
My brother had recently got his license and we went to the same school so he drove me every morning. As we headed to school, about a 30 minute drive through all urban areas such as neighborhoods, strip malls, etc I just looked straight ahead. Like in the house and shower, I was afraid to look anywhere else but what was right in front of me. At some point we reached a red light, and like in bed, I had that same feeling that I was being watched. Once again, I had to look to hopefully give myself comfort that it was all in my head but boy was I wrong.
It still creeps me out as I type this but standing there on the corner, about 15-20 feet from my window, was a "man" wearing a dark grey suit with a fedora type hat and closely shaved beard while holding a briefcase staring right at me! I almost had a heart attack and whipped my head around to look straight ahead again. Seeing "him" literally took my breath away like someone just hit me in the stomach. My brother was obviously oblivious to all of this and listening to the radio loud enough that he probably never heard me gasp. As we drove off, I kept my head straight but shifted my eyes to the passenger side mirror and I could still see him standing there as he slowly turned his head and never took his eyes off the car until we were out of sight.
I was a mess all day, I couldn't concentrate and didn't even want to go home but when we got home later that day I asked my dad if he ever got up that night for any reason, specifically to check on me and he said no. He has also never owned nor has he worn a fedora hat and I always slept with my door locked. My parents had no idea I had occasionally snuck out at this point so they had no reason to check on me either. Needless to say, I immediately stopped praying to Satan and even started praying to God although I wasn't a big believer in either. I also stopped listening to the same music although ironically I still listen to some of it to this day but I took a long break, lol. After another month or so, I eventually started feeling "normal" again and even my parents commented about how different I seemed during those months I described above.
To this day, I don't know what to think. I'm agnostic for the most part but atheist every other day, lol. If it weren't for this story, and a few others I'll share, I would be 100% agnostic but whatever "that" was, was pure evil and I don't think it's a coincidence that I invited it into my life. Part of me wants to blow it off 30 years later and say it was all in my head but it happened exactly how I described it and it wasn't a dream. Even if I rationalize that it was a dream, that doesn't explain the unlocked door or the "man" on the street. There's too many things that happened for me to think it wasn't real.
Thanks to anyone who read this. Any thoughts or ideas are welcome even if I disagree;)
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