Gift Or Curse?

I mentioned in my previous post (My Mum's Attachment) that I have certain gifts. I said I would discuss them in a subsequent post. I would really like your opinions and advice on these 'gifts' as I sometimes feel that they are more curses than gifts.

As I have said, I was raised in a Jehovah's Witness household and all talk of spirits/ghosts/entities/abilities etc was absolutely forbidden. No exceptions. I have been sensitive to energies as long as I can remember but I feel that the turning point or the point that my gifts really 'manifested' was during my mid teen years.

I was 16 when I had my first ever precognitive episode. It was so insignificant that I really thought nothing of it. My mum had given me a scooter so that I could get myself to and from school and work. My friends and I decided to take it for a joyride in the park down the road from my house. I was sitting on a hill with about 3 of my friends. Another of my friends (let's call him S) decided to drive the scooter to the other side of the park and back. He had a motorbike of his own and had grown up around bikes. He had given me lifts many times so I knew what he was capable of and was completely comfortable giving him a turn. On his way back to us a thought came to me which I verbalised to my friends, "he is going to fall". My friends all thought it was a joke because S was clearly in control. 5 seconds later he fell. Not hard enough to be hurt, luckily. He just all of a sudden tipped off the bike.

The next precognitive event was when I was at work and stepped out for a smoke. I was standing on the curb of the road just watching the traffic go by when I suddenly felt like someone was going to push me into the street where I was going to be hit by a car. I took a few steps backwards and looked around. No one was near me so I finished my smoke (away from the road, just to be safe) and went back inside. About an hour later we heard tyres screeching in the road right where I had been smoking. It turns out that someone had tripped and accidentally pushed another person into the road where they were hit by a car. I was officially freaked out.

The next event of significance was when my boyfriend (now husband) asked if he could use my scooter to get to work. I said yes and immediately regretted it. I suddenly burst into a fit of tears and sobbed to him about how he was going to be hit by a car. He told me I was being silly but let me ride with him to work. We were hit by a car which was trying to escape the police. My boyfriend broke his collar bone and dislocated his shoulder. I was 100% fine.

Next was my brother-in-law who is 3 years younger than me. He is staying with us until he can support himself. It was the end of 2016 (October). I suddenly had this horrible feeling that something was wrong with my brother. I called him immediately and found out that he had lost his job and had been told to go home. This happened again in December 2017 when he again lost his job.

I often get these terrible feelings and I don't always know who or what they are related to and it absolutely kills me. I have come to trust my feelings (as have my husband and brother) and I hate knowing that someone is or is going to experience something negative and there is nothing I can do about it.

My other ability is a little hard to explain (mostly because I can barely explain it to myself) but I will do my best. Since I was a child (the first time this happened as far as I can remember was when I was about 5 years old) I have been able to almost wish for anything and it comes true. It can't just be a simple want; I have to NEED whatever it is deep down in my soul. The first time I really wanted a kitten (as I said, I was 5 and this was my greatest desire in the world). My family said no and that was that. About a month after I had expressed my wish for a kitten, my mum and I found two tiny kittens in a box in a gutter. She had raised kittens before so we took them home to look after until they were old enough for adoption. My mum fell in love and we ended up keeping them. The second time was when I was 15 and my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) broke up with me. It broke me because I already knew I was in love with him. He was absolutely adamant that we were not suited for each other. I wished and wished and wished for him to change his mind. Three months later, out of the blue, he changed his mind and we have now been together for over 10 years.

Before I had children I always wanted 1 boy and then 1 girl (2 years apart). Both of my children were conceived by accident (I was on the pill when my son was conceived and I was on the injection AND using condoms when my daughter was conceived). My boy will be 6 in February and my girl will be 4 in August (they are almost EXACTLY 2 years apart). There have been many, many, MANY other instances when this 'ability' has come through but I feel this post is already too long.

Your thoughts on all three of the above would be highly appreciated. I don't have any kind of training or background knowledge in any of this as it was forbidden when I lived with my mum and I live in a city in South Africa where this kind of this really is not prevalent at all. I have done internet research but there is SO much conflicting information out there and I can never find anything that FEELS right.

Peace.