Blues Brother

My brother died in a tragic accident several years ago.

A few months after he died, my mother and I were sitting in her living room reminiscing about him when she suddenly asked me if my son (who was 10 years old at the time) would like to have my brother's black fedora hat.

My brother liked hats, specifically the fedora because when he was a teen he loved John Belushi and The Blues Brothers skits on SNL thus developing an affinity for the black fedora.

I was a bit surprised that she offered because I had not mentioned to my mother that my son had recently asked to get a black fedora. It was an odd request from him because my son is pretty quiet, low key, and decidedly not one to wear a fedora.

He and my brother were not "close" because we didn't see each other all that often - mostly just on holidays or birthdays - however, I'm certain my brother did love him. Furthermore, I had never discussed my brother's black fedora with my son and I don't recall seeing my brother ever wear it although my son may have seen him in it in a photo somewhere at my mother's house. So when my son asked for one I just thought it was one of those phases kids go through, with hats, haha.

My mom gave the hat to my son that day and we left her house. It was a short drive home during which my son was grinning from ear to ear while wearing the fedora.

My brother was very heavy on my mind during that drive home and I felt a deep sadness. The news was on the radio and it was mostly bad - so I changed the station in search of something to lighten the mood.

The first station I switched to was playing "Soul Man". It was my brother's favorite cover song that John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd sang in the skit.

I found a lot of comfort in that. It was such a coincidence that the song came on, I had never heard it on the radio before and I don't think I have since then. Was it my brother giving his ok for my son to have something of his that was significant? Or was it a mere coincidence? Who knows for sure, but I felt comforted and a sense of wonder.