He Brought Her To Me

Suzy2, your sister sounds like an amazing woman, to take on something like that. I know it's not easy to care for a loved one in that condition, but it's good that your mother had someone willing to help her in her time of need. I wish I knew at the time it might have been possible, for me to have done that for my grandfather, but he was never really easy to get along with before he got dementia. My relationship with him has never really been that good, because of how he was towards me my whole life, so I didn't think that he would be ok with me helping care for him. I didn't find out that he actually would have been, until it was too late. I couldn't imagine having 5 kids, and not one was willing to help care for me when I needed them. It's just sad to have to witness.

Twilight,
Don't ever feel bad for sharing. It's part of healing I believe.
So very sad about your Grandpa. I can't even imagine how difficult this is. My sister took care of our Mom until the end. I'm forever grateful to her and I know it couldn't have been easy. Mom became difficult to deal with the last few months and my sister had no help due to covid. She did the best she could and Mom certainly tested her patience. I'm glad you're able to visit him. Hold on to that and try not to dwell on the "crap" you can't do anything about. It will tear you apart. Grandpa wouldn't want that. Believe he will find his peace. ❤

AugustaM

I LOVE that movie also! I had a conversation with my dad concerning the afterlife. We discussed how many different beliefs there are and I felt like whatever you believe, maybe that's what it will be for you.
What a beautiful dream about Peanut! She came to see you! Amazing isn't it.

Hey Suzy2, thank you for choosing to share your experience about your mother here with us. My condolences go out to you for your mother's passing. I know what you mean when you say how her passing was a blessing, due to her being in the late stages of dementia. As sad as it is, no one truly can fully understand why that is so, until they have personally experienced a loved one with that. My grandfather has dementia, and just this past summer, my who I rather not refer to as my so called family, all decided they rather not be the ones that cared for their own father during this difficult time he needed them the most, and after the neglect they had with even looking after him, as he then lived alone, and needed someone to be there full time, to make sure he was ok (he had multiple falls while home alone), DSS ended up getting involved, and despite given my so called family the opportunity to finally step up and help care for him, still all refused. So now he is in assistant living for dementia, and sadly has just gotten worse since living there (I know there's no coming back from dementia, and that it only gets worse, but I'm meaning his mind has went faster, then when he was at his home, where he was familiar with his surroundings, and routines). Before he was taken away, you could still talk to him, where he knew what you were talking about, and still have small conversations with him, where he didn't forget what he was talking about. But now he is unable to carry a conversation, and seems to be living in an earlier life of his, as he has talked like he was back in the army etc. He has gotten confused over who his daughters are, and other family, but with the visits I have had with him since living there, he at least seems to still remember who I am. I dread the day when he doesn't even recognize me though. Every visit I've had with him, he has had a big smile on his face to see me, and always ends up in tears whenever I have to leave. It's so heartbreaking to walk away when he gets upset like that. I'm only able to visit him through a window (meaning I have to sit outside a window to talk to him, with the window being slightly raised). He is constantly distracted by his surroundings, and can never get out what he is wanting to say, or forgets he was trying to say something. But with that said, it just dawned on me the other night, how despite all that, he still seems to know when I leave, that he won't see me until I come back to visit him, and that he is not at his home now, because he didn't start getting upset like that when I left, until he has been there (he didn't get upset like this, whenever I would leave from visiting him at his house). Sorry to go on so much about this, it's just that your submission really hits me, and made me think of my situation right now. Knowing how my grandfather had said he was ready to go back in 2014, when he had started showing the first signs of dementia, and then after losing his wife back in 2017, making him really wanting to go, and when DSS got involved with him, saying how they were going to take him from his home, he's just been waiting for when he can finally just be at peace, and be back with his wife again. So knowing how he feels, and seeing him slowly lose his memory, to where he is no longer even the man he was, makes me not understand why he has to continue, to keep living a life that he no longer wants to live. I wish I knew why this is happening to him, as it feels like he is being punished for something. I'm sorry to have written so much now, as I don't want to take away from your experience. I'm just glad that your mother no longer has to endure this lifestyle anymore, as I wish it on no one. She is finally able to be at peace now, that I only wish my grandfather could have.

Your account made me cry ❤️ It reminded me of one of my favorite movies "What Dreams May Come" - in it, heaven looks like what you make of it... Their heaven looking like that special home makes perfect sense to me.

Though it's nothing in comparison to losing one's mother - I lost my beloved cat, Peanut a few years back and it was the absolute worst day of my life until that time. Though I've had little experiences here and there since then hinting of her, there's been nothing concrete as I would've hoped for and nothing like the sign my mom received in "Peanut and Pa" and I've wanted so desperately to hold her again. That was until a couple weeks ago when I had a dream wherein my husband and I kept coming home to find our front door ajar - we puzzled and puzzled over it as each time we swore to one another that it had been locked - the third time it happened (still the same dream), I rushed inside desperately worried about Peanut even though I knew perfectly well even in that state that Peanut was gone, beyond worry or harm and it was my new babies (Vera and Chablis) that I should be worrying about. I rushed into the guest room and on the top bunk, there was a bump under the covers (just where Peanut liked to sleep), I threw them back and there *she* was! My baby, my Peanut (crying now)! I scooped her up and held her to me - I could feel her warm little body, hear her purr and even smell her - it was my girl!❤️ I hated waking up!

Love is stronger even than death.

Thank you all for responding.
My mom's dementia was in it's final stages and she wouldn't have known me. Pretty sure she didn't know who I was the last time I saw her which was back in November. Her passing was a blessing for sure.
I have no doubt that my parents are together now. That dream felt so "normal" if you will, watching them drive. My parents did everything together.
Mrs Ramsay, my parents were so connected to that Lake house. They actually built it together. The roof was put on and the outside shell. They installed electrical, plumbing, furnace, bathroom, kitchen, etc. I believe that's why they brought me there in my dream.
I have also dreamed of my 1st house as you say. It's like I'm suddenly there as if it's any other day and I realize that it's not mine anymore and start to panic about the new owners coming back. This dream has happened at least 3 times. Who the h*ll knows what that means! I also dream about the house I grew up in. Countless dreams I've had. When the house was up for sale I was able to go through it and since then, I hardly dream about it anymore.
Cheers!

I'm sorry for your loss and that covid prevented you from seeing your mom. That must've been so hard for you. My heartfelt sympathy.

When you mentioned the lake house I just got chills. I firmly believe my mom and step dad (mom passed away in 2013, step dad in 2006) are somehow in the afterlife at their lake house!

I can't even say why, but have had dreams of them up there and it's "our" lake house, but not quite... Just different. Every time I have the dream, maybe 3-4 times now, I'm there, but all of a sudden I realize I'm NOT supposed to be there and I need to get everything together and leave before "the new owners" show up and discover me there. I'm not sure if it's more about my parents being there or the fact we sold the house. But maybe there is something to the idea that we "retire" to our dream place?

Suzy2,
What a beautiful dream you had 😭 Your dad must've felt that you needed to see your mother at least one more time. I feel the same, that visitation dreams are a powerful reminder of just how close we remain to people we've cherished and loved even after they've passed from this life.

This was an touching account Suzy2, thank you for sharing it with us. It is always a wonderful validation that life goes on after we leave this physical plane and we are never truly separated from our loved ones. They are a-lot closer than we think.