My Dad was an independent owner operator for 41 years. He, I and his Mom, my Grandma Vada were very close. So close, in fact, we knew what the other was thinking without even asking. I call it being "akin" to somebody.
So my Dad falls out of his truck in 2010, breaks his neck, is a quadriplegic for 6 months and dies 03/31/2011. Just DESTROYED me.
A few months later, I'm asleep... I think...and, I never have dreams I remember... But THIS dream... I can SMELL cigarettes and diesel...I'm in a garden-a BEAUTIFUL garden with color and fragrances so VIVID...I've never felt SO ALIVE! And there's my daddy... Sitting not 3 ft from me. I instantly just knew he was ok. And he looks me right in my eyes all serious like and WITHOUT OPENING HIS MOUTH, says,
"Kerri, I LOVE YOU." And I was awake. Crying! Shook up.
Next night, I'm sitting around with my friend, Jerree and this overwhelming compulsion to tell Jerree to go see her dad in Oklahoma won't let me alone until I say it to her. So I did. Her dad passed the next day.
Another day, I'm at some friend's house and everybody goes downstairs to play pool, except here comes this overwhelming compulsion to stay seated, alone at the kitchen table. Then in comes this horrible dude I can't stand-he goes on downstairs, but his driver-a guy I had never met, sits down across from me. This overwhelming thing makes me say, "You look like you just saw a ghost!" And the dude bolts and leaves!
Two weeks later, that guy finds my house and tells me that that day he met me, right before that, him and Roger, we'll call him, were at a truck stop getting gas. Supposedly a long time ago there was a murder Roger was involved in and no one was left alive EXCEPT Roger to tell anything. Well, while pumping gas, a stranger walked up to Roger and began giving him DETAILS ABOUT THE MURDER! Roger said, "Who the f*** are you and what do you want from me?" The stranger said they were (the murder victims name) reincarnated. Then they drove to where I was and I said, "You look like you just saw a ghost."
At this point I think I'm losing my mind. I throw people out of my house for talking crazy like this! About a month later I have my daddy's 38 Special in my mouth, about to pull the trigger when... Here it comes, this overwhelming compulsion to put the gun down and pick up my Dads old 12 string Eko Ranger. I never put that guitar down and learned it in 4 months. Bizarre. An Indian told me that my dad and I were spiritually connected and when he passed, the veil had thinned for me. I believe that.
I have a lot of dead family members. At 63, I've lost both parents, a step dad, grandparents and a husband. (I'm a woman, haha, just chose an ancestor's name for here).
When I was very young and lost my dad in Vietnam, I was fortunate to see what I can only describe as my angel. I know this as sure as I know my name, but didn't realize it until decades after the fact. One of the bits of knowledge that I feel he/she? Imparted to me is that we have to live our lives to the fullest when people we love have their own lives cut short. Those left behind should HONOR THEM and their lives by getting the very, very most out of our own, because they are living through us (in some way).
My son in law's brother took his life as a teenager and the tragedy was so great, it has haunted that family, destroyed it really. But when I first met my son in law and asked him about siblings, and he answered that he is an only child, my first reaction was, "You don't SEEM like an only child." Apparently he was stunned that I somehow knew. Ten years later, we often have the conversation that he is living his (VERY ADVENTUROUS) life to its fullest and I believe his brother is with him for it all! Anyway, please don't despair. Your father must've worked hard at his job and he would want you to live as well as you can, continue his legacy and even improve on it. Life can be tough, but you are meant for good, even great things one day because your experiences have made you all the stronger. Bless you and thanks for the interesting story. Wish I could play the guitar, I was an utter failure at it!