I was very close to my PawPaw. I thought of him as God-like and there was no one on this earth I loved more than him when I was a little girl. Whenever you saw him, you saw me.
He passed away when I was 13. I was to the point where I denied that he was gone, and I even refused to go to the funeral home and later to his burial. I always thought that he was somewhere on vacation and would come back one day. Finally one day, I snapped out of it and accepted that he was gone.
Before I was to get married in 1996, I found out about my biological father. I read in the newspaper where his grandmother died and her funeral services were going to be held at the funeral home up the street from where I and my MawMaw lived. I told her I wanted to go see my great-grandmother and perhaps find my father. So my MawMaw called my mom and my MawMaw's best friend and we all rode to the funeral home together. My mom didn't get out of the car. I almost ran to the door of the funeral home. My MawMaw got me to stop and take a couple of breaths before I went in.
I went in, and went to see my great-grandmother lying in her casket. She was a beautiful and frail lady from what I saw. She had long, thin white hair that was put up in a bun and had on a pale lavender dress. I left the viewing room and scoured the room for a face that looked like mine. I never did see my father. Instead, my grandfather grabbed my MawMaw's arm and pointed at my father. I don't know if they had words or not, I walked out with my MawMaw's best friend.
My father came running out and screaming that I was not his daughter. He became angry at us for even coming and making a scene. Of course, this upset me very much and my mom didn't say anything to me to comfort me.
Eventually, my mom and my MawMaw's best friend left. MawMaw was doing all she could to comfort me, but it wasn't helping much. I fell asleep with tears in my eyes in her recliner. She covered me up and went to bed herself.
I don't know what time it was when I felt this patting on my shoulder. It wasn't a jarring pat, just one that felt like someone was patting your shoulder to make you feel better. I barely opened my eyes and saw this golden-colored glow to the left of me. In my heart, I knew who it was. I smiled the biggest smile ever and told my PawPaw that I was alright now and thanked him for being there with me. When I said that, the glow faded and the patting stopped.
My PawPaw was there to comfort his other favorite girl (his first favorite was of course, MawMaw), me.
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