My cousin was murdered a little over two years ago in California. He and I were very close. He was the brother I never had and since he was murdered I haven't been the same. I feel like he was my soul mate. That sounds weird because he was my cousin but who says your soul mate has to be your spouse? Your soul mate is the other half of you. That's all. I also believe that we knew each other in a past life. Maybe all of them. I don't know why I feel like we did but I do. I tell you this because it is relevant to my story.
The day my cousin died, Feb. 22, 2007, was horrible. When he quit breathing I could feel it. I quit breathing also. Not because I wanted to but because I couldn't breath. After that night I was crushed. I started having dreams about him. I have always had premonitions in my dreams and my deceased family has always visited me while I'm sleeping. I believe that is my gift.
The visits would be brief. They consisted of him telling me that it wasn't my fault and he loved me. I would wake up with his scent on me. I loved those nights that he would come to see me. I always woke up feeling better.
One night I was feeling really responsible for his murder, he wanted to come stay with me and I wouldn't let him until he got his act together. I have three kids to protect so he understood. This particular night he came to me while I was sleeping in the form of a letter. In my "dream" I went outside to check my mailbox and I had a letter in there from him. The letter told me that he loved me very much and it wasn't my fault. He also said that I had to let him go so that he could move on. I remember thinking, let you go? That's crazy. Never!
I woke up feeling guilty for being so selfish. That night when I went to my room I told my cousin that I loved him too and that I was ready. I told him that he could go "home." I was balling my eyes out and rolled onto my side. On my side of the bed there is a vanity with a mirror on it. I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror and there he was. He was wearing his favorite blue shirt and smiling. I felt so peaceful after that and fell into a dreamless sleep. I believe he came to tell me goodbye. I haven't heard from him since so I guess he made it to heaven. I miss him so much it hurts but I know he is in a better place.
R.I.P Leon Drue Huddleston
05-30-1981 to 02-22-2007
Just so ya'll know, the people who murdered him are caught.
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