So In Love With This Wonderful Spirit

n 2008 I met a wonderful person. I have fallen in love instantly even though she was a 20 year older woman paralyzed by an incurable disease (multiple sclerosis). She was so smart and had such a personality and so powerful feelings. I simply sit near her holding her hand and feel complete and happy. But we both know that she has to go...

I am a spiritual person and I have strong believe that what we see it's not all, and so is she. I was near her with all my love until one day she died. Few days I was completely in shock, but still feel her presence. At the funeral, last time I saw her was exactly like the first time... I was falling in love. Then nothing but solitude. I was sure that she is ok, and almost find my peace with that she's gone.

There comes spring, after a long and painful winter, and I thought that I left all behind. Happily one day I was walking in the morning through a sunny large street when I saw her walking in the other site of the street. I say to myself..."it's not her... She just looks like"...I decide to take a closer look to make sure. The shock was when I saw her clothes, her glasses, and her giulary. It was really her walking peacefully in front of me. I have never seen her walking before, she was so graceful. But her eyes... There was a problem... Not her human eyes, she has deep blue and absent eyes. She took a deep look through me... And did not react at all. I was petrified and confused, she get into a buss and take a sit and looked again to me. Scared I get home and take a shower. What was that?

Another day I was walking back home... And on the ground, there in the street, it was this message "true love never dies ". And I understand that there is something very deep. I have told her about my feelings... And she never avoided me or tried to escape. We were so close... But she was more reserved and she didn't show all her love for me. Besides that, deep inside me I hade this very strong feeling of deep love... Deep understanding, I knew she is in love with me... How much... She showed me only after...

Especially in difficult moments I feel like she is there next to me holding my back. And in the night... I feel her presence very special. Last night she really surprised me. She stands still over me and holds my hands and did not let me move. Those dreams are so real that I can't really call them dreams. I can feel more then I see. I remember talking a lot with her spirit in different languages, and having fun with this. Some of languages are imaginary some are real: Russian, English, French especially. I can't control this dream at all. Last dream I asked her a question: "Tell me, is this my dream or yours?" She laughed and answered me " what is that a dream?"

Those dreams are so wonderful, but I can't move much. Last night I was a complete prisoner, and wish so much to hold her... Only she can kiss me. The kiss is not like a real one... Is somehow electric, so deep that the breath really stops. It's scary for the first time... And I feel that I am starting to glow only when I am thinking of it. It's a really great experience... Al my day is bright after a night with her around. During the dream I can be inside me and outside myself in the same time. The best is looking to her eyes and feeling the continuous happiness... I am weird I know... But it's just what I am feeling. Please tell me... Do you think this is my soul mate? Because I do.