Comments for An Unlikely Friend: Page 1

If vampire were as gay as Edward I'd burn them all hahaha XD I love vampire but Edward makes me gag. At first, I was his number one fan now...*finds best way to kill self* or if it worked, let my 5 year old cousin go haywire on him XD, he might lose an eye in the end. EDWARDS A PIRATE NOW GO ERIC THE SPIDERMONKEY! Hahaha

Sorry I haven't posted much the last few days... Lots of work and very little sleep, damned dream got me good.

Pen: You seem to have an amazing talent in reading and appreciate your interpretation of mine but I think what he shows me is more literal and not figurative.

The dreams of him as a wolf are the most abundant. These dreams are different from normal dreams. In them I hear, smell feel taste and remember them on waking.

As for the twilight books... This is the stuff of nightmares truely lol. I still maintain that vampires should not glitter like a pre school art project but if you enjoy it that is all that matters.

When it comes to vampires Brian lumleys necroscope series is one of the best I'v read but I warn you it is... A bit extream at times.

Hey, who isn't interested in their fortune. Maybe I'll find a special someone there. And thanks, its cool getting your fortune told for no fortune hehe. My best friend would have killed me if I told her a corn joke. XD PEACE AND LOVE PEOPLE!

Haha, I feel like some kind of instant celebrity. Alright, Emerald. I'll email you either tonight or tomorrow afternoon - I'm at work, and almost done for the day, and may be going to see my boyfriend after work. I'll see how fast I can interpret what I find. 😊

oh can you do me as well with the tarot stuff like will my life be good this school year email me as well and to MCP Iwas bawling when I found she wasn't going to finish haha

yea cause I would wonder where he gets his inspiration. Haha and to be honest I'm odder hehe XD

You asked, MCP, and I felt like doing it. This deck is being fickle, like it knows something's up with me (It's been a hectic week). I hope the almost personality this deck has transfers to the one I'm making! And I work with reversals - It gives you a better view into some troubles that could happen.

I'm going to email you what I found out, so as not to fill up Lost's page further with my tarot tricks. 😉 I can give you a better description via email anyway. It'll be sent along soon, promise. ❤

Something eerie: As I finished the reading, Taylor Swift's "Today Was A Fairytale" came on my iPod. Spooky coincidence. When I did Lost's yesterday, "Thriller" by MJ came on. I couldn't help but laugh. Maybe my iPod's psychic, too... 😆

PenDragon-
Thats really cool! The cards say anything about my up-coming wedding? Hehe 😉

I find Dream Analysis interesting. Any suggestions for good sites to reference?

I'm usually good with intuition and the like. 😉 I help my friends with stuff like that all the time, and do Tarot readings and such. Palmistry is something I may look into in the future, but for now, I want to make my deck of Tarot cards!

Pen-
Interesting dream analysis. It seems fitting.

Emerald-
I'll give you a run for your money books wise;). I love the Twilight saga! 😁

I pre-ordered all of them and whizzed through them myself, I just couldn't put them down! I'm still sore that she isn't going to finish Midnight Sun. It's so abrupt to stop it right where she did! I don't like finishing a book half way but I had to read what she finished thus far. I'm glad though she released what though. I wouldn't have been able to read what I did if I had to read a version that went through someone else. I wouldn't have trusted it.

Poe? I'm sure he had a lot of strange experiences in his life. Really though he was a very emotional dark person they say all around. He was not appreciated during his time as a writer.

Scott? I couldn't really say for sure. But it would be interesting to know wouldn't it?

Research is what I do, haha. I love to learn, when I'm interested in something, and I love to find out as much as I can when asked questions. I've always been that way. Your grandma sounds a lot like mine, haha. I get in so much trouble for texting and the like from her, it makes my head want to explode.

As for Poe seeing ghosts, I'm sure he had to have SOMETHING to base his stories off, other than just an over-active imagination. Seeing ghosts + good imagination + writing skills = good horror/fiction writer. 😉

Hey Pendragon, cool name and you sure know how do your research huh. Hahaha your hilarious and I also try to cause myself pain when I find myself rambling and my grandma tries to take my phone and figure what I'm doing but I have a deathgrip on my phone so I growl at her if she doesn't back off. She honestly needs to mind her own business tho, she aint my mom. And to MyChaoticPeace, you've read it too I love it! Being the ultimate vampire obsessor I read the entire Twilight series in less then a month. The girl who I borrowed the book from who is my best friend had to be ready every two days and trade a read book to an unread book. She's knows I'm a whiz at books. At school there this color thing and I'm at the very top. I read young adult books cause kid books will make me sleep.*Im rambling again crap!* Do you think possibly Poe saw Paranormal stuff as well? As well as that guy uh... Oh Sir Walter Scott! I also poem write but its not really good I'll possibly post it sometime later when I find the paper. Cause by how dark sounding or maybe he suffers isolation I gotta look up his biography. Hahaha I'm taking up all the page hahaha*feels something cold on shoulder*What do you want Johnny?

So... I know this makes it 3 posts in a row, and makes me look like I"m not trying to take over you page, but I'm not. Here's what I get from your dream that's here.

The bodies contorted can mean a loss of identity. The fact that they are hanging could represent the pain you were feeling in your neck, death of the identity, and a feeling of being strangled, be it mentally or, well, physically.

To dream of a wolf is a representation of pride, self-confidence, mystery, solitude and beauty. It indicates that you are able to control yourself in many situation and are able to conform with grace and ease. The wolf indicates your solitary nature. To see the color of black in your dream represents disapproval in a person or situation. It also stands darkness, isolation, and, unimportance. Black can also symbolize concealment, dishonesty, or the end of life. A white wolf represents victory and valor. I assume a black wolf would mean failure and cowardace?

Not to mention - Marchosias' symbol is a black wolf. So the wolves here could also represent him, and all he stands for. You being followed could represent the past you, always running and hiding, never confronting issues, just avoiding them. The fact that the wolves were following you could be their own purpose, and their own ambition, or rather, Marchosias' ambition and oppertunity to grab the person that they are following you. And that he's probably saying he will always be there.

[at] Emerald, I feel your pain about long-winded ramblings! Holy smokes! *slaps self*

And, for the record, I was an odd kid too - I read some of Shakespere's more known plays when I was 10. I think I read Romeo & Juliet, Othello, King Lear, Hamlet, and a Mid-summer Nights Dream. In about 2 months. And understood it all.

My dad and mom both say I'm an old soul in an old body. My dad believes in ghosts, my mom believes in spirits, reincarnation, and psychics. I'm definitely blessed that theyare accepting of *some* things (My dad hates tattoos... Accepts Ghosts, hates tattoos...) There are a few reasons my mom believes in such things. When I can post my stories, I'll share that, too.

Anyway, enough rambling from me - I'm going to go creep other stories for a bit~

Penny ❤

You're welcome, Lost, and I will. And I don't think that the card meant "true" happiness, but more along the lines of you're happy you're here, you're happy at what he's helped you achieved. More of a contentment, I suppose.

I will read your other stories, and see what my half-assleep-because-it's-Friday brain comes up with. 😊

Love it! That's an awesome piece! He's so amazing, not Poe but spectacular in his own right. Check out his poem 'The Dance of Death'. I love the flow of it:)

Emerald-
Actually, When I was around your age (11-12) in 7th grade Demon In My View first came out, that's exactly where I first discovered Poe! I fell in love with his writing and Amelia's as well lol. I've read a great deal of his work and all of hers;). If you haven't read the Twilight series I recommend them to you.

I bet you do understand it so don't sell yourself short. If I could understand it then, I know for a fact you can too. You articulate well, so you must comprehend well. I wasn't a huge Heights fan either. It just isn't my sort of cup of tea. I do enjoy Shakespeare though!

Lost/Emerald-
Othello
"To mourn a mischief that is past and gone is the next way to draw new mischief on"
😉

dangit I rambled again hahaha XD MUST STOP DOING THAT! Ugh I. Cant. Write. Stupid. Writers. Block...!

hahaha Thanks DARKNESS and I'm perfectly confident on what I want on this Earth and my grandmother was growing suspicious as I wrote this, sighed and and dramatically pounded my head on my book, trying to think what else to say, scaring my grandmother in the attempt. I'm sure my phone was steaming after I wrote that post hahaha xD but there are times I get scared and my stubborn side jumps off a cliff like last night for example there was this guy pure evil in his eyes. I wanted to run away but I couldn't move, I was frozen in place and I began to call out to God tl save me and this being said something that brought me back" This God of yours is here you idiot" and want to know what I said " Piss off. Go crawl away to your master now or God is going to whoop you. You don't scare me and can't hurt me cause guess what My Lord is behind me right now protecting me from darkness" the evil guy disapeared and I felt hands touch my shoulders and I wake up saying go away. My strength is feeble on its own but with God or some warrior angel I am an angel myself and the day I die I want to be a guardian Angel that's why I call myself EmeraldAngel:3 I plan on sending my own messege into this world by paper. In real life I'm a little shy and can't express my feelings correctly but I'm crazy when I get advantage of internet. I get mad when my dreams go whacky and sometimes wake up saying leave my mom alone or piss off hahaha, Katherine ❤

Thats some interesting rambling youve got going on there EmeraldAngel lol, well done. From what I have read from you I think you will do quite well as writer, I wish you that happy ending that you so much want to achieve.

Dan

sorry my posts keep getting longer XP HEHE good luck, Kathy-rine

hahaha just cause I read poe doesn't mean I understand the meaning. As I grow mentally and physically I'll learn what was going through Poe's head when he wrote some of those poems. For now, I'll just imagine him in a dark room with only candle light as he writes those poems hahaha. And yea most people find a type peacefulness or indescribable feeling when they read a certain book. There was a point I became really interested in Shakepeares work. At the library there was havoc as I grabbed a bunch of Shakepeare books my dad was going to faint hahaha xD I tried reading Wuthering Height but got a headache xD Midnight summer dream was a bit easier due to a better written form of it. I found it pretty interesting. I'm only a kid and yea I lost interest being too busy with my own story writing to attend to like I was doing earlier... My own dream is to write stories my friends have read my work and find it really good. One of them was so into it I scared her when I threw a pillow at her cause I grew bored waiting for her. Its written all by hand and my first story is a success of 98 pages while my other one WILL be longer. I'm still an amateur but probly a good amateur. So what I'm saying by rambling on bout my crazy life is that books have hidden meanings she just have to think about it after you've finished the last page and cram it in your over stuffed with books library shelf. People used there time alone to write sweat, blood and tears on paper to show how cruel reality is and redemption are on that last page. I can't stand no happy ending books it puts me in a temporary depression. And I think to myself"THATS IT HES GONNA GO DIE LIKE THAT FOR HER? BECOME A FRIKIN GHOST AND COME BACK AND BE WITH HER FOR A FEW MONTHS DANGIT" Sorry its my habit to go in all caps to show anger*true thoughts after reading a book about once* I'm selfish but, if I'm ever defeated mentally I go into a brattish fit and calm down after reading MANGA XD HEHEHE! Sorry couldn't help it. But anyways I've got two things to say 1: No one ever should die a no happy ending ending cause reality shouldn't exist and all that crap about drugs divorce drama is the cause of it. 2:I believe you will find your happy ending in a way you won't believe. Have faith, Katherine ❤

I truely thank you for that emerald. And at 12 years old reading poe? Thats quite an accomplishment! Pendragon had suggested that there was a loyalty between Me and (him). In a sense I suppose there is but I'll not go so far as to say I'm happy with him or the arrangement but I feel as though I should feel some gratitude for the positive effect this has had such as it is... Yet again there are the negatives.

As for those who are like me the way I was before I made my choice. The best advice I have ever heard / read I found in a book.

Never forget who you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.
Tyrion lannister, A game of thrones by George r.r. Martin.

For those who love to read and have not read it make it a priority.

I'm a bit late on the conversation of awesome Edgar Allen Poe. I've seen that poem in one of my favorite vampire books*major vampire obsessed girl here* the author put a poem after each story. My absolute favorite story was called demon in my view. Thats where I find that awesome poem and like ahhhhhhh... Wow I've no idea what that means but its emo so COOL! I was kind of a goth wannabe but I lost interest and was really in love with the colors gold and green due to that book The Outsiders. I cried reading it, Hahaha xD Then started babbling stuff like I'm GONNA LIVE goodbye dark and emo me. Hehehe I'm really weird and mostly just crazy. My friends never get bored. But anyway*got way off topic* yea Lost you're nowhere near damned. You may believe it so much that you just shut down but your not damned, you never were. Its good hearing it from complete strangers who barely know you and are in similar circumstances. This site is like a therapy for people who've believed for a long time that they're just going to die a lonely life and live in hell for eternity. Your not alone and God hasn't tossed you away like a toy that's broken. Your not a sock monkey! There is always redemption and I felt something cold near my foot...? Must. Ignore. It... Piss off you brat go away!*found out a while ago a little boy is the one who keeps touching me like a tap on the shoulder possibly the one who I had heard scream. I feel sympathy for him but now hes like my cousin, a pain, hahaha.

Thank you Pendragon, it was indeed informative and helpful. If you know anything of dreams PLEASE read my descriptions of my past dreams and give me your thoughts.

I"ve read your story a couple times now, and I"m going to come out and say it - it is a bit scary that you made a deal with an evil spirit/demon/what-have-you, but in the same breath, I think maybe he is more of an... Influence, rather than full-on possession. Like... A Devil-on-the-shoulder type thing. This may sound wonky, but I'm into Tarot and card reading (I have a deck, and I'm in the process of making my own deck as well). I know it may not mean much, but I did a quick "impressions" reading for the story, and this is what was drawn:

9 of Cups; Reverse: freedom, truth, and loyalty. This card represents how readers of the story should see you, Lost. I will say that one of the meanings that this can have is that it is a truthful tale, and, I'm going to dare suggesting that you're happy with him, are semi-loyal to him, and he is semi-loyal to you, albeit creepy.

The second card was the 3 of wands, symbolizing me, as a helper, and someone who would cooperate with you.

The 4 of Swords, reversed, and it symbolizes wise administration as well as precaution. Where this one showed up, it's supposed to represent your hopes, and hopefully, this means something you, because I can't make sense of it.: (

The next card was the Devil card, reversed, and I'm not surprised that this showed up. It's spot represents your fears. The reversed Devil card represents evil and weakness, as well as pettiness and blindness. I think this speaks for itself.

The final card was the reversed 8 of cups, which tells me how I should feel about you/present myself to you. In the reverse position, represents feasting, as well as great joy and happiness. I think I should take this as not having to be afraid, and to be happy for you? I'm not entirely sure.

I feel so silly for this long rant, haha. I just thought you should know my results. And I interpreted them how I saw - everyone does. I'm sure that I'm going to get flamed for posting this, lol... 😉

LOL indeed, this is my favorite of his

Death Chant

Viewless essence, thin and bare,
Well nigh melted into air,
Still with fondness hovering near
The earthly form thou once didst wear,

Pause upon thy pinion's flight;
Be thy course to left or right,
Be thou doomed to soar or sink,
Pause upon the awful brink.

To avenge the deed expelling
Thee untimely from thy dwelling,
Mystic force thou shalt retain
O'er the blood and o'er the brain.

When the form thou shalt espy
That darken'd on thy closing eye,
When the footstep thou shalt hear
That thrill'd upon thy dying ear,

Then strange sympathies shall wake,
The flesh shall thrill, the nerves shall quake,
The wounds renew their clotter'd flood,
And every drop cry blood for blood.

Sir Walter Scott

Have you ever read Sir Waltr Scott? He's amazing as well. I read his poem 'The Orphan Maid' and I was hooked on him.

Alone is amazing. I looooove that poem. Appreciate is an understatement I'm ecstatic to see someone else quote it lol.

😁 😁 😁

It is one of my favorites, I'm a huge poe fan. I buy every book I come by. I'm glad you appreciate it

OMG Lost I can't believe you just quoted Edgar's poem 'Alone'.

You have no idea how much I love that poem. It's been my favorite since 7th grade when I first read it. I can say it on demand in my sleep if someone asked me to. He was - is - amazing! I love his works! You're the first person I've ever met to talk about that poem, heck even know that poem. I know some Poe fans but none of them have appreciated that poem the way I do. 😁 ❤ 😁

I thank you for your understanding and and kind words and to all those who have posted in response to my story I thank you all as well.

I certainly did not expect the responses I recieved. You have all been extreamly understanding and helpful in giving me advice and hope.

I know many have read what I posted and probably think I am a shovel short of a full load but I truely only needed to hear someone say that I am not damned and there is hope.

And for Nightingale23 my favorite poem:

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were -- I have not seen
As others saw -- I could not bring
My passions from a common spring --
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow -- I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone --
And all I lov'd -- I lov'd alone --
Then -- in my childhood -- in the dawn
Of a most stormy life -- was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still --
From the torrent, or the fountain --
From the red cliff of the mountain --
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold --
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by --
From the thunder, and the storm --
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view --
Poe

Hi,there is really nothing I can say that hasnt been said, I feel frustated somehow that a good person such as yourself has gone through the things you did had to become powerless and succumed to this... Being, I understand your comment that its hard battleling wits with something as old as creation, You have been given plenty of good advise so I will nor lecture or tell you what you should do.

I found your account so unbelievably interesting, even though its so disturbing and almost unreal that it left me trembling, you see something similar happened to me, the very same night I renouced God and life and rebelled against my mother who had to lock herself in a room afraid that I might hurt her, that night in the shadows I saw something... That until this day haunts me. But I thank God it didn't harm me, it only stared at me from a corner of my room, with black abysmal eyes and a huge mocking grin that made my blood run cold... I don't know how I managed to ignore it and cry myself to sleep. Till now I'm still puzzeled and terrified by it, I don't even know wether it was real since I don't want to remember. And I see now how lucky I really was...

I will pray for you, that you may find the streght to face it all, free youself and find the peace and happiness you seek. God is with you!, he has not forgotten you... You are not alone, we all kindred souls support you!, its never too late to climb out this hole. -hugs-

God bless and May our blessed Mother guard you always.
😊

This is in response to Dan and others' posts here. There seems to be a few pots that firmly place the blame on Lost here, with arguments like 1/ you shouldn't have allowed this 2/ you should fight it off or not feed it negative energy 3/ you are in control and can throw this thing out of your life on your own if you only do x.

In regards to 1/ its silly since the author has been very honest and admitted he shouldn't have, and that I bet most if not all of us would have done the same if we were in Lost's shoes. There is a bit of 'blame the victim' mentality going on. As for 2/ and 3/, I can say from personal experience that God is stronger than these things, but these things are stronger than us. You cannot get rid of them on your own strength but only through depending on God's help. Trying to get rid of your fear or whatever won't cut it.

To me it sounds like it got attracted by all the bad energy around your house at the time and took advantage of you whilst you were weak, to me nothing like that can sound good.

I'm pretty much echoing what everyone else has said, but I agree you don't have to live with it. I think it's only prominant in you because of The Relationship you have with it. If you give something attention and energy then it's going to become stronger. In my opinion you're a strong person because of yourself, maybe boosted in confidence from the idea that you had the back up of this spirit. Psychological purpose behind things can be very strong at times.

That's just my opinion on the whole thing, like I said I probably echoed a few comments but I wanted to put my personal input in. Remember nothing is ever over and there is always hope. Good luck to you Lost in whatever you do.

Thank you as well lost its hard copeing knowing he left for heaven this morning. I'm glad your thinking more positively and hope you enjoy your life more then ever. By the way what's your name I never caught it? I wish you happiness, Katherine...

you ackknowedging my loss is enough of help that I appreciate, last night there was a period in the middle of night that I kept thinking of my beloved companion and had a feeling of comfort next to me. It could have been my late dog P.j or Grandmother who knows really but all I know was whoever was trying to communicate was wanting me to feel ok. Before bed I kept hearing someone whisper my name 😐 But anyways what you said earlier made complete sense. Lost, you didn't sell your soul to the devil so don't listen to these other people who's knowledge and trust is on internet stuff where some info isn't always accurate. Keep an open mind people and don't trust everything the internet says. Keep faith and that cool humor you have. This site is full of people who have had different experiences with the paranormal. Good luck, Katherine ❤

Emerald I am sorry for your loss, A dog he may have been but so do I know how hard it is to lose one. I have one myself a half labrador and half shepherd mix named bear and I couldn't have asked for a better companion. I am truely sorry to hear he passed on.

As for the effect the one event had on my ex wife. It freaked her out at first, but it wasn't until long after that when our relationship went south. So if it did she quietly harbored it for years and something that substantial would have had an immediate negative effect.

In the end, we can all speculate what will be my inevitable finality but it will all come down to the day I die and am finally judged and if I recieve forgivness. But until then because I chose to not end my life 22 years ago I am here and alive now and will try to enjoy what I have right now, this moment. The love of friends and family, knowing I have a son who will carry on my name and that I love with all my heart, a good job to provide for him and the unquestioned love & companionship of my dog bear who never ceases to remind me that I am missed when I leave the house and to fill the food bowl.

Its trick is that it's making you think it's made you stronger. It's made you stronger in a social sense perhaps from what you've said. It's encouraged you perhaps but really that's not something you couldn't have received elsewhere. It's not giving you supernatural strength or ability. So although it made you stronger in the sense that it gave you a little voice encouraging you around the clock, it hasn't REALLY made YOU stronger as a whole. See what I'm saying? I know it appears to contradict but it really doesn't. I wish I could explain it more clearly.

Emerald-
I'm sorry to hear about your dog. Wish I could be of more help then just that.

Thanks Emerald if that's the case then to my understanding...

Lost-
No distinctive terms leaves it very open for interpretation on both ends, not very binding at all. One could easily deny the taking of their soul. Terms would have had to have been set, agreed upon, and then achieved. This was not a pact for your soul.

Although it seems to be having bad effects on you it's not living up to even its general terms. Yes, it made you stronger, but did it really make life better? Did it really take away anything? Did it really 'give you' anything? Don't accept it as making you stronger, because it isn't. You feel you are too weak to fight it. Truly if it was giving you what it said it would you'd feel stronger then you seem to.

Any general 'terms' for this pact have not been met. Even if you become strong enough to get rid of it, it won't be because it gave you that strength, at this point it would be because of the encouragement you receive from friends, family, and people here on this site. It is incapable of giving you what it offered you. In the end it has no power, unless you believe it has power. If you believe is has power, you may succumb to its tricks. But remember, that's all they are - tricks.

Dear Lost,

I hope you find peace and happiness, I'm sure your Mom would have been devastated if you were succesful at killing yourself, she may not be good at expressing that but I'm sure she loves you, and as per your friends, I know, school is hard and not having friends to talk to is difficult, but you can share your comments and experiences here, we are usually pretty good in listening 😊
Be well,

Claudia

Lost didn't know what the "Alternative" was. Just something better then death like MyChaoticPeace there is always redemption, I'm not really into it today sorry, my dog Barney passed away and I couldn't be there for him, sigh. Its not fair...

"Isnt it true that if someone (unwillingly) said yes to a demons terms of agreement (like if you agree with me ill make you stronger, just say yes to be a part of me, and such) the soul will be taken to hell, like selling a soul to a devil?"

From what I understand to sell one's soul in exchange for something, it would have to be clearly stated. But, even then, I'm pretty sure it's possible to redeem one's self. But I'm not sure that's the case. We would have to understand any terms stated if this was a deal.

Would you suppose it's possible your relationship took a turn for the worst after it... Ahemed... With your wife? It's possible she had a stronger emotional response to the idea of something else... Well... I mean you get the idea.

Did you ever actually agree with give your soul over in exchange for anything? Or did you only accept it's offer of aid? Were any terms actually stated?

[at] EmeraldAngel:

Isnt it true that if someone (unwillingly) said yes to a demons terms of agreement (like if you agree with me ill make you stronger, just say yes to be a part of me, and such) the soul will be taken to hell, like selling a soul to a devil?

to signup, his soul will be released! Marchosias can't hold him for long, just because he's intelligent and strong doesn't mean Lost can't beat him. Have more confidence people 😕 Good Luck, Lost and don't let him win. Like I said there's aways Hope for everyone. 😁 keep us updated

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marchosias

That what you did is not good news, I hope that your soul will be released.

This what he has done is actually not fair but those beings are not fair.

Entities only have power over us if we let them. We are in control not them. Teach them to listen to what you want. My spirit guides help me through these types of happenings. Talk to your Spirit Guide. They listen and help when necessary. Dont look to this entity any longer to help you. It is only harming you and your way of life. They are lost we are not. Trust in yourself and a higher being to release you from this
Entity. He is using you as a pawn for what he could not accomplish in his lifetime.
Tell him to leave and go to the light. Ask for help from your spirit guide and the Angels. That is my belief. I have had to do it before. I have seen things since I was young. Dreamed of the future. Been warned and saved by my spirit guide. I have seen people who have passed on and not understood why they were showing themselves to me. For your sake and sanity, seek out a medium who can help this entity leave you if you cannot.

Hahaha no the ghost was breathing which creeped me out but I was too mad too run away so I just told it to shut up cause it was pissing me off. It was right next to me I think cause I sorta felt cold. My Grandma is a good person but she's too spiritual and had a priest bless me, throw holy water on me, do bazillion prayers and the ghost in the bathroom or possibly hallway is making noise again. Ima go yell at it later when my grandparents aren't suspecting hehehe I got my own demon in me 😆 😆

Did he flush? Grandparents taking kids to voodoo practitioners? And inconsiderate ghost in the bathroom? Surely they deserved the full awesome power of your bratty temper tantrum... When exorcisms fail use what weapons you possess lol.

Of course I'm correct when I say God loves us if I wasn't I'm screwed. Excuse my language, I'm kind of angry at the moment, my grandmother took me to this lady who did weird voodoo on me which freaked me out and made me angry. I'm on the verge of regret but grandma honestly didn't tell me what was coming so I got scared. I can honestly be a brat, a ghost saw my wrath of brattiness once 😆 Except I know I need to calm down or I'll start attracting negative spirits, heard one in the bathroom earlier was so freaked. Thats what's good about meditation 😊 Must. Calm. Down... Much better. 😁 But as I said, stay positive, you don't need him honestly, but its all up to you, its your decision all in the end. I send blessings, Katherine.

I can appreciate your passion in your belief Emerald, it reassures me. You sound far from a bratty 12 year old. And I hope and believe you are right in what you say.

Honestly, I think he was the cause, if he had not made himself known to her, you too may have had a chance. Maybe he had done something else while you weren't aware, and your ex didn't want to say about it. He would continue to stare at her with a cold look at night. Remember even if supposedly he speaks only truth, I doubt that, I know he's there isn't he? Quietly reading what you read, what I'm saying, possibly pissing him off? He's not strong, and he'll never go to heaven if he keeps this up. How should I know, you read my story and know what I'm going through. I'm just an ignorant stubborn bratty twelve year old to him probly, who won't shut up and go away. 😐 I'm able to go day by day cause I know my grandmother who also is my guardian angel watches over me day and night. I get scared a little when I see what I see but I have a good family that cares for me and knows I'm not crazy. God knows I'm not crazy and will protect you through the remainder of your life. He watches you struggle and will protect you. He loves us all, and will keep us all safe.

suggestions of harm that is, I should have proof read. Your not prying, its ok

At first his reaction to her was extreamly volatile, telling me to turn away from her that she would bring me only pain. Over time his reactions lessend in intensity but was always extreamly dissaproving. Any suggestions of hard were promptly discarded.

In the end he was right, my maiiage to her was disasterous to put it lightly.

Yea that's what I was figuring, did he ever say why he didn't like her? Sorry if I'm prying, just really curious on how this being does stuff

Thank you Pratekya. Demonstrations of his power... The most physical was during my binding, other than that he can cause you to see or hear anything he wants, speaking to others like him and spirits.

To Emerald: our conversations are all internal so no crazy eye twitching vocal conversations. Since the binding I can sense and see a lot of things, he can talk with them as well.

As for My ex's interaction and how he/I looked: all she would say was cold, void of emotion or empty. There was only one other incident that I know of of direct control and it involved her.

I'll try censor this: in around our second year of marriage I apparently woke up in the middle of the night and (Ahem...) with my wife and I had no recolection of this and she said she was sure it wasn't me, didn't act like me, look like me in the eyes and I didn't speak. I was very cold and mechanical... No robot jokes please, not that kind of mechanical lol.

And I suppose it is possible that just his being there and her knowing it could have caused her to drift from me.

Lost -
I'm curious, although you may not be up for this - can you describe some of the events and details where he demonstrated his power most clearly in your life?
I want to change my previous statement - this is not one of the most interesting threads on this site - this is the most interesting thread on this site in my opinion. Especially given an excellent and very intelligent writer. I'm not saying that as flattery, it is simply fact.

sure I see shadows all the time now, I can get scared but I know they can't hurt because I won't let them. 😆 😁 go ahead and e-mail me and Lost, one more thing have you started seeing spirits as well or is Marchosias the only one? E-mail me too!

EmeraldAngel-
You've said, I noticed, on a number of posts you've seen shadows. May I e-mail you and talk to you about an experience I had when I was younger to see if what you see is anything like what I saw?

I catch on quick, its a useful talent that works everytime and yep I just saw another shadow pass by... Strange its more often at night 😁 😊 😕

EmeraldAngel-
😆 You seem to be getting back into the flow just fine 😊

EmeraldAngel-
No, Lost seems sure it wasn't about the entity that it all happened. But, still... It's an interesting theory that perhaps she shied away from him as a result of the entity... Still though we could only speculate on things like that.

Dont' sell yourself short that's not naive to consider. I would be interested to hear her side of what she witnessed if it were possible 😊

Also, how does he interact with you? Does he talk to you in your mind or what?

Wow 😐 I'm kind of confused just because this being scared the crap outta her made her unfaithful? Or am I being ignorant about something. Did she ever say how you looked when in that state, just curious. 😐

So it's only speaking through you and acting when you relinquish control so to speak. I find it interesting it's not acting out at any other time. Still though it harms you when you come into contact with items of your faith or people of your faith? That's not a good sign...
Well from the research into this being it seems it's more of a fallen Angel wanting back into heaven then something that's trying to do 'evil' supposedly. That doesn't add up to the symptoms or its hold on you though. It has to be your choice. If you belief it may have ill intent and it's alienating you from you're chosen God of worship by harming you when you get close or consider separation from the being then I think it's in your best interest to separate from it. We can speculate night and day what it's over all intentions are but really we can't know for sure.

Lost, The only real power he has over you is fear... Remove the fear factor and you will remove him... I speak from experience and I can tell you, reflecting now... That there only entry into a body is through a weak or volatile mind... As yours was when this entity entered... So have a bit of ticker mate and let this thing know its time toP.O.Q.

So she was unfaithful to you and he merely warned you. I can relate to that😆

For some reason this being is not sounding that evil... Is he still hurting you by chance?

How is this relationship now?

I have never lost time though, the few rare interactions like that happened while I slept

Yes it disapproved of her quite fervently in the beginning but I was determined to be with her. As I said he wasn't the cause of our split, she proved herself to be unfaithful.

It had spoken to her once while I was asleep, it was nothing she could understand but it grinned at her and she swears to this day that it was a grin of ill intent

yep and it took awhile to type all that up and miss the conversation 😳 hehe 😆

And that's definitly something I'd expect of a demon keeping you out of a relationship and creepily staring at her in the middle of the night "yikes"! 😲 😭

Well said EmeraldAngel. 😊
It's only as powerful as it's allowed to be. If you believe it will be able to over power you or harm you, it will. Fight back with that knowledge and put your heart into it.

He's strong as long as you think he's strong. You have to stay positive. And I understan your fear of damnation. This thing is powered up by things God knows are bad. You should never give up fighting or upon the hour you are to leave this world, just look up to God with hopes of redemption, he's not strong, Lost, you are. No matter how you look at it 22 years this thing has looked over you with evil or somewhat good intentions. Don't let it take you down into the pits of hell. We were created by God and are his children and always will be. Don't think this thing is all brain and can't be beaten. Nothing is impossible as long as you believe you can do it. You "will"overpower it. I know you can and will. You just nee to have faith. There will always be bad things in the world but there is also good. Like in that myth Pandora's box, tons of bad things came out along with that small tiny thing, hope. 😐 😳 ❤

That's interesting... Did it ever talk to your previous wife? Did it ever comment to you regarding her? Distaste for her or an indifference?
Usually when I hear or read about things that manifest so strongly they tend to voice their opinions openly. I wonder if in an effort to alienate you it chose to quietly intrude? Has anyone else witnessed any odd behavior you might had shown while sleeping? Have you ever 'lost time'?

Enough Rashidah, don't be petty. Address Lost, not me. This isn't about us, stop making it so. I ask you respectfully to keep your comments to yourself if they regard me or your odd and uncalled for distaste for me. I expect you to be able to respectfully do so. "or e-mail me if the thought ever crosses your mind." does not say I expect you to, simply that I don't want any more contact with you. I don't want explanations or rants or anything remotely similar. Case closed.

LOL whoa, got to clear up a few things please do not argue over this. And I am a guy and am somewhat concerned how I got thought to be female... I should have specified lol.

As to this, I was married once and no my marriage didn't end because of him to my knowledge but she knew of him and feared him. I ended the marriage and he never caused me to be abusive or anything.

A humorous note to this (at least to me looking back). I would wake up in the morning to find her gone, sleeping on the couch. She would claim that waking up in the middle of the night I/He would stare at her with a cold removed expression. I myself have no memory of it.

'If that's what you're looking for I'll ask you not to comment to me, reference me, or e-mail me if the thought ever crosses your mind.'

Why on earth will I want to email you now 😕
Get over yourself.

Dont be afraid of being you. Right now you're a mixture of something else and yourself. It has to be a choice that you make whole heartedly. You aren't alone, either way. Just remember that. 😉

Lost-
I don't want to speak about religion at all as it seems to tick people off very easily, but please keep in mind if you decide to pit wits against him you won't have to do it alone. You'll have help from someone who has been around just as long. Tough the pain, reach out for help, and fight. You aren't damned as it stands right now in this moment, because you want to better. You want to be free of it. That speaks volumes.
😉

Lost by your last comment I think that you are very attached to this being. But I do not think you a fool because I see this a lot in human relationships.

I believe that you have not completely made up your mind in wanting him to leave.
Is that true?

Not a "better person" just better able to function in life as the person I am now rather than the person I was, and yes I do fear damnation. Its like someone giving you 10 million dollars and telling you to enjoy it and make the most of it but then you find out you have a year to live.

Not being melodramatic, Think of yourself in a situation where what is seemingly a gift is really your own personal poison. I WANT FREE OF HIM... But in the same note what will I be without him and can it be done when I am effected by all manner of religious items and people negetively. Not being melodramatic or focusing on impending doom but trying to look at an illogical thing logically.

And yes Emerald I have some idea of his Likes and loathes and other nuances but remember these things are infinately intelligent and deep in they're personality. Try pitting wits with something that's been around since our creation.

EmeraldAngel-
I agree with you 100%. It does sound like a bully. Lost shouldn't give up. It's feeding off of you Lost, so when you fight back even if it hurts you it's hurting too. When you feel like you're going to break or like you have to give up remember why you're fighting back and push through it. Reach out to your friends and they can help you reach out to professionals where you might be otherwise hindered. It can't stop your friends from getting help for you. And once help is aware, it can't stop them from helping you.

Rashidah -
"Do you think it was necessary to call Lost a fool.
(1) Who the hell are you?
(2) THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS SITE LAST TIME I CHECKED.

Oh yeah your name suits you well."
1 Yes, I do. Not because I mean it in derogatory way as Lost seems to understand. It's a foolish choice to choose Hell over Heaven. It's my opinion. Lost seems to agree. I would rather kick someone into gear for their own good then let them wallow in depression. Again, Lost seems to get that so I'm content.
2 No it isn't. However, Lost has made her belief of the afterlife known. She's also mentioned getting help from the church, which implies her belief over all. My comment to this forum is to Lost, not to you. I don't want her to walk away from here feeling like there is no salvation and feeling as though she is damned. Which is what she continuously implies. My reply addressed that fear in her. It's tailored to her belief and not meant for you. It's not a debate and it's not a welcome mat for a fight. Please don't treat it as such. If that's what you're looking for I'll ask you not to comment to me, reference me, or e-mail me if the thought ever crosses your mind. I'm not into Forum fighting.

Lost-
If even for a moment you misunderstood my comment and thought I was insulting you, I apologize. It seems, however, that you didn't take it the wrong way and for that I'm very pleased. If you need encouragement or help in some way that I can offer please feel free to use the e-mail address posted for me as needed.
Like I said it won't be easy but you're not alone. I find the description in your dreams to be interesting it seems to fit... It seems consistent though that most places continuously say "Conjuror" when referencing someone utilizing this beings abilities. Did you do anything before this took place all those years ago like dabbling into the paranormal or super natural? Perhaps there was something that happened to lead up to this that you've forgotten? Perhaps knowing the source will help to find the solution.
Http://www.whiterosesgarden.com/Nature_of_Evil/Demons/List_of_Demons/L-M-N_contents/marchosias.htm <- just a short basic over view about him...

Honestly, now this being sounds like a big bully and how do we control bullies? Fight back! Rebel against him! As I said before, He.Is. Nothing Demand him, believe in God, have Faith and Don't give Up Maybe he wants redemption from Hell as most people posted but he can't use you anymore, Lost. As you grew up with him there don't you know his weak points, touchy conversation subjects? Does he recoil from any friends you have that are possibly spiritual? Quit saying your damned cause your not. Just curious, are you affected by bibles? But honestly, we are never weak, we can be afraid but never weak. ❤

DeviousAngel has made a great point here.
You stated that you feel that you have become a better person due to possession even though you risk being dammed to hell 😕

Now I personally do not believe in damnation but I have no idea what you meant by that statement.

Were you serious or were you just being melodramatic 😕

Thank you all for the encouragement you are very helpful. And I am trying but when you have 22 years with a thing you become dependent.
Sometimes he seems sincere and almost like a companion and it is at times hard to remember what he is. I have asked to be released and everytime I am denied and in turn tried to deny him. You must remember as I have found They can be and are very patient in waiting for you to break and come running back when you feel weak.

I'm sure everyone is going to have their own opinions on what this is, and I don't want to step on anyone's toes in that respect, but I'll tell you what I think.

Firstly, if you've been evaluated and no one has found mental illness within you, I think it's very possible that you created this spirit or attracted a spirit that has basically manifested into a being that allows you to have an excuse for being everything you feel you should be. Your strength and personality are based on your personal choices, and no spirit can take away your free will unless you let them. I have heard of demonic possessions and things like that, but I've never heard a demon possessing someone to be a better person. It doesn't make any sense. And for you to believe that your soul is eternally damned because you have become a better person, that is simply imparting on yourself guilt for doing what you should do. You should NOT feel guilty for this.

Even if there is a spirit attached to you, your immortal soul is not going to hell. Whatever you choose to believe is up to you, but I truly believe with all my heart that you are allowing something else to take credit for your good choices, and this spiritual entity is just sucking up the credit as an excuse to maintain a relationship with you. As long as you allow it to, it will stay with you.

I believe that if you truly want to, you CAN rid yourself of it. I was there once, too. I too, tried to kill myself--that's not something that I like to talk about, but in your case, I think you should know. We're all weak at some point. I didn't succeed either, obviously. But I take that as the greatest gift ever--that even if it was weakness that spared my life, SOMETHING allowed me to keep breathing. Today, I like to think I am a much better, stronger person because I wanted to be one and worked hard for it.

You've had at least 22 years of conditioning since you first experienced this entity, so you have a lot of mental habit to undo, but you CAN do it. Seek the counsel of your friends and loved ones. If you don't have friends and loved ones, MAKE friends. It's not impossible, even if you're awkward. I speak from experience on that.

If you truly wish to be, you will be free of this thing and you will be able to make true friends of the living, breathing sort. You will have a happy life... The opportunity is yours for the taking. Perhaps this is your greatest obstacle to overcome, and think of it as an opportunity to prove to yourself that you don't need anyone or anything to make you strong. You only need yourself, and to believe in yourself.

omg... I get what you mean somewhat I mean I never had that happen to me but you picked that instead of death you just want to live like everyone else your not weak if you were weak you 'would have picked death. Your mom prob didn't hear you becuse that jack prob set it up like that you think your making all the noise in the world but nothing coming out that's happed to me a few times... Anyway I found a few more things about him but ill have to write them out again if you want to hearr just tell I have a theroe about why he picked you. You guys said he wanted to go back to heaven well if he was with you lost then when you die he might come with you but that's just what I think

Yosh! So many comment and I agree with some... The thing is its your choice, even if we give some advice in the end it is for you to decide! 😐 I suggest you read the book "KEY OF SOLOMON" I have read that there's a way to cast away demon... Maybe its not late... So try it...

-Aya

Try to fight your thoughts. I know it's hard, but you sound as though you've accepted what's happened to you & given up fighting. Maybe that's not the case. But you have to remember this - this demon needs YOU - not the other way around.

It's never too late.

Let us know how you get on, please, and I hope everything works out alright in the end.

Here's what I found on wiki about this guy:

In demonology, Marchosias is a powerful Great Marquis of Hell, commanding thirty legions of demons. He is a strong and excellent fighter and very reliable to the conjurer, giving true answers to all questions. Marchosias hoped after one thousand and two hundred years to return to heaven with the non-fallen angels, but he is deceived in that hope.

He is depicted as a wolf with a man's form as well as a griffon's wings and a serpent's tail, that under request changes shape into a man.

The name Marchosias comes from Late Latin marchio, marquis.

*****

Girl, this is dangerous. You need to be screaming for help with this, from a clergyman, from family, and definitely from God. I know when I was your age and so depressed, I'd pray. It seems that this demon got to you first. I'll be praying for you.

Lost- remember the devil has limited power over you, you can get rid of him by getting a St. Benedict Medal, Holy Water, and saying a Hail Mary... It will work...

My email: rvcory [at] hotmail.com

😢 Don't give up, you keep sounding like your giving up like your waiting for your doom to come. Its never too late and it never will be for you. One day when you meet God all you have to ask is for redemption and he'll gladly give it to you. Thats all we have to do. Just to ask 😐 😳 Never give up and I really believe you, please I wish you good luck and a new strength. You were never weak, you were outspoken but not weak. I'm the same, I'm the kid who sits in the corner, the kid who half runs to class as if concerned about being late who keeps her face to the floor and is alone at home most of the time your not alone...

I will prayer for you Lost, may my prayers help you...

And secondly how could you let a demon into your life?
You fully know that a demon is not human...
More of a monster to be exact
Demons only feed off you're angry, feeling angry all the time will strengthen this demon...
I don't like it's name either...

Again I will prayer for you...

God bless you

I appreciate what MyChaoticPeace is saying, and I was indeed a fool though I appreciate your sticking up for me. It was a damned foolish thing to do.

Prayer for me (My praying or others praying over me) has unpleasant results to say the least. I step foot in a church I become severly ill, I pray I get headaches that make me beg for a migraine and if others pray over me and I get a bit of both.

When I went to speak to my uncle and the others I was down for near a week. He has talked of redemption for himself, unless his "saving a human" was his attempt at it.

He said in the state I was in when he found me I would have either grown to be weak and prey for the strong or would have finally succeeded in killing myself.

Nephele asked of my dreams. In the beginning it was the very picture of hell on earth as described in my original post. He said it was what was coming in the end of times.

I dreamt of walking with him to the base of a great tree he called Nemus of vae and told me it was where the final judgement of the damned is given.

I dreamt of a wolf not of fur and flesh but of fire and smoke black as midnight and he said to me welcome brother for you shall sit beside me on the Per of animus and dine with us in Aula of eternus and in doing this you will be as us.

I have dreamt of a hundred deaths and in each one I am reborn as him.

I dreamt of standing with him under a daylight sky black as pitch, a daylight sky of ravens as thick as clouds and he says to me they are the souls of the lost.

Those are among the most recent. I am not being poetic or dramatic its just what I have seen.

Just looking his name up brings up a demon that resembles a wolf.
You might actually have a demon with you to be honest, because I see no reason why anything truly good would force you to his alternative or death.
A strong and powerful demon he may be, who wants to go back to heaven but may not be able to.
The other voice he was talking to may have been another evil being, or another angel. In a sense they may have been fighting... But I don't know why they didn't stay if so.
In the process of having his alternative, when you said you were [vomiting, gagging, and urinating... Along with your spine and neck to hurt]
What exactly happened then?
I'd like to hear the other dreams you had, also. It's quite interesting.

Wanting to die will not get you anywhere, and will make evil things attracted to you. So I don't doubt that you have a demon with you, no matter how he treats you. He could be tricking you. They will do anything to get you... No matter what THEY as an individual want. And they have no mercy...
Still it's a hard choice and I understand why you would chose his alternative over death... He never really told you what his alternative was anyways. Keep us updated on this.
I hope you stay safe

MyChaoticPeace

Do you think it was necessary to call Lost a fool.
(1) Who the hell are you?
(2) THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS SITE LAST TIME I CHECKED.

Oh yeah your name suits you well.

My God be with you and save you. And may Gods light burn Marchosias to hell. 😉

If this is true and you've officially and medically ruled out Schizophrenia, which can manifest in a person whom continues to live a productive life depending on the severity, and you are a religious believer and you regret allowing it into you and wish you could make your way to Heaven and God in stead of Hell and Satan... Then...

You're a fool. To resign yourself to Hell when there is a better alternative, the best alternative, is foolish. You could fight this and make your way to Heaven. You can try with all your might to seek out help. Even if you don't find it, pray and ask help to find it. Give your heart to your efforts to achieve it. Remorse for your mistake is what God will search for, and action. Take action to fix it. Don't do it again (which you won't need to worry about for this sort of case). All you need is remorse (true and honest), action to fix it (Even if you fail to find it as long as you do your best and continue with your prayer you won't be forgotten in the end), and prayer of course along the way. That's what God wants from us when we make mistakes. We are flawed, all of us. God knows it, we know it, and Lucifer knows it. It's what we do when we make our mistakes, how we try to fix the aftermath, and to whom we place our faith in at the end that shows us our place in the after life. Lucifer would love for all of Gods children to believe we are damned for each of our mistakes, but God is forgiving and God is all powerful. Turn to him. Even if your 'guest' fights back even if you are pained you believe and you let Jesus know you want the Holy Spirit and you accept it into you. You turn to God and he will turn it out. It won't be easy and you can't do it on your own. Go get help from a professional.