Always There

I would like to start off saying first that I am new to this site and I am actually very happy to have found this site where I can relate my experiences with out fear of being ridiculed. With that being said, I am submitting this because I am hoping to find a solution this problem that has been plaguing me since my senior year of high school. Any advice given to me would be appreciated, but please don't tell me to pray, though I firmly believe in God I do not believe that prayer helps everything because believe me I have tried, and while prayer will work for a short period it never helps in the long run and I'll explain further.

It started when a cousin of mine came to visit for the summer. We had grown up together when we were little and then when he moved away we called each other as often as we could. We were more like brother and sister than cousins honestly, he was and still is my best friend. However, after he had been there a few days he came to tell me about some paranormal experiences that he was having in his house. He told me of a particular entity that followed him wherever he went. He admitted to always having the a terrible feeling of evil that was near him. Without thinking I said, "Well, whatever it is, I wish that it would leave you alone. I will pray for you?" I offered, and he just laughed as said, "Yeah, like God gives a crap." I was so stunned by this reaction that I was at lost for words. So I quickly changed the subject.

A couple weeks later he left to return home, he seemed really sad to go and he admitted to me that he didn't want to go back to his house. I told him that if he ever needed anything to call me. He nodded and reluctantly left.

A couple of days later I sitting on my bed talking to my Mom on the phone, while she was at work, trying to convince her to let me go stay at a friends. As I'm talking to her my eyes land on a nail that was sticking out of my wall. As I watched it, it started to wiggle and slowly push itself out of the wall. I blinked several times to make sure that what I was seeing was real. The suddenly I got a terrible feeling of fear and told my mother that I would talk to her when she got home. Hanging up, I leapt up from my bed and yanked the nail, which was now almost all the way out, the rest of the way out of the wall and flung it across the room. I then went and sat in the living room with my little brother, firmly telling myself that it was my imagination.

A couple nights later I was asleep in my room, when I heard scratching in my floor. Assuming that it was my cat, Gracie, playing, I picked up one of the pillows from behind my head and threw it in the floor to get her to quit. As I did this, a black shadowy figure climbed up my door, (which I laid with my feet pointing), across my ceiling and down then wall by which my head laid and jumped down on top of me. The moment I went to respond I felt my body freeze and suddenly got this horrible pain which the only way I can describe is how I imagine it would feel to be electrocuted. I couldn't breathe and I could move or scream. So I closed my eyes and prayed, "Oh, please God, help me." It took a couple of minutes in my head of repeating this my head, for it to stop. When it did I immediately took my pillows and blankets and slept in the living room on the couch.

After a couple of days of sleeping in the living room I went and slept back in my room, after convincing myself that I had just dreamed everything. That night, as I'm laying there watching television I get the suddenly feeling as though something is tugging at me, like something was trying to push it's way inside me. I sat up and shook myself repeating firmly in my mind that I was tired and it was just my imagination. However, the minute I lay back down the electrocution feeling starts all over again. This time it takes a lot longer of me praying for it to stop.

After that I refused to sleep in my room for the rest of the time living in that house. Instead I chose to sleep in the living room where my mom had a collection of angels, feeling safer in there. My mother only ever commented on how weird it was that I didn't sleep in my room, but always just left it at that.

After a while of feeling safe in the front room I begin to notice that the same evil feeling that was in my room began to move through the house. At this time, my mother and I start fighting horribly, for some of the stupidest reasons and at the same time I start feeling very depressed and even suicidal at times. I had all but convinced myself that everything that had happened was my imagination or because I was tired. However, my friends at school started noticing changes in my started commenting on them. They said I had become distant and when used to I always been for a sleepover or hanging out, I had started refusing. I told them that it was nothing that I just didn't feel like hanging out much or sleeping over. For a while they left me alone, still being my friends but not asking me to come hang out or anything.

Then one night I was laying on my couch watching television when I suddenly feel my body freeze again, and the electrocution feeling started again. I started hear growling in my right ear, and as I started praying the growling itensified until finally it let me go. I immediately sat up and started crying, never having felt so scared in my life. After that I stayed up for the rest of the night, unable to go to sleep. It continued like this for a couple of weeks, the growling and the electrocution feeling. My mom commented that I always looked so tired and asked me if everything was alright, I told her I was fine that I just sometimes couldn't sleep. Finally she took me to a doctor who ruled out insomnia or any other health problems and gave me a list of things to do that would help me sleep, like warm milk, ect. At this point all my friends slowly stopped talking to me.

Finally I called my cousin crying, telling him everything that had occured and for a little while he was silent and then he admitted that he hadn't felt the evil presence that had been following him since he left my house. I was so angry with him, believing that he had some how pawned this negative entity off on me that I refused to talk to him for a good while.

Then the activity started to slow and after two things happened it almost all together quit. The first being, because I slept in the living room I was in charge of locking the door before I went to bed. Which I did, every night, only I woke up and both the front and back doors were open my dog, which was supposed to be in the backyard, was on top of me growling at a hooded black figure standing in the doorway of the back door. It stood there, and I suddenly got the feeling as if it were amused by my dog in some way and then it disappeared. I convinced my dog to get down and put him back outside and locked both the doors again, terrified to go back to sleep. My mom came into the living room and ask when I had opened and shut the doors and I said that I thought I heard something outside so I checked. She said not to do it again and told me to go back to sleep.

The final and scariest of experiences happened the next night. As I was getting my a snack from the fridge I glanced over at the back door. I don't understand why but I did and when I looked the black hooded figure was there again, staring at me and though I have never seen his face I knew that he was staring right at me. Then slowly it started to move towards me and I froze in my spot. It had it arm extended towards me like it was reaching for me and I kept repeating to myself in my head that I needed to move but I couldn't it was like I was somehow glued to the spot. Finally after it was about a foot away from me I heard a soft feminine voice say, "Don't touch her." The entity stopped moving towards me and growled very visciously before disappearing. Once I could move I bolted into my mom's room and slept with her that night, saying I had a bad dream.

After a month or so my depression got better and my mom and I stopped fighting as bad, it still feels like its there, especially when I'm alone, it hasn't done anything like that since. I don't know whose voice that was or if I just imagined this whole experience. Sometimes, my body will still freeze up and the same feeling of being eletrocuted will start and at first it didn't bother me because it was every once in a while and it was brief. Now though, even though it's still rare the experiences are getting longer and I still feel as though sometimes it is still trying to find a way inside me. I'm scared that it might one day start all over again and I don't ever want to have to live through that again.

Any advice or help would be welcome. Thank you in advance for any help or advice. Also sorry for the length but I wanted to give as much information about the situation as possible.