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She Has My Face

 

When I was about 12 or 13 my mother had a cancer scare and had to look at the medical records from my birth. In the records it is shown that there was a still born baby, I was supposed to be a twin. The doctors never told my mother and she never saw it in any ultrasound, they told her what she felt was an extra placenta. Since before then my family has seen a girl with my face.

When I was a child I slept in my parents bed until I was 6, the last year I slept in there, a girl more like a shadow, would stand at the end of my parents bed and stare at me for what felt like hours and then she would slowly walk into my parent's bathroom. I moved into my sister's room after a year of that and I haven't seen a spirit since then.

My father has seen her in the bathtub in the master bathroom. He believed it was me and immediately left the bathroom only to see me in the kitchen, when he went back she was gone.

My older brother that slept in the basement yelled at me for shaking him awake in the middle of the night for a month straight. I never did that. He said a girl that looked exactly like me, he thought it was me, shook him awake saying "TJ wake up! Please wake up! TJ!" He was angry of course and yelled at her "get out of my room!" He said "I" got sad and slowly walked up the stairs but he never heard the door open or close and when he looked no one was there. He started sleeping upstairs on the couch for a while.

My older sister asked me why I went into her room in the middle of the night and kissed her forehead. I was sound asleep in my parent's room.

My 4 year old niece insisted I went to a movie with our family and when I told her I was at the mall with my friends she casually said "ohh so it was the fake Emmy?" I was shocked I asked her "who?" she then explained calmly that "there's a girl and she has your name and your face with long black hair (my hair is naturally black but I have it dyed dark brown) she was at my birthday party" I asked her "what was she doing there?" She then explained further "she was wearing a white dress and she knew Charlie's (my younger brother) name, she kept calling him 'Charlie! Charlie!' But he couldn't hear her." I had no words, no one had ever told her the stories of a second me or that I was supposed to have a twin. She promised she wouldn't talk to her "when she comes back" because she knows that it's not the real me.

My brother in law refuses to stay the night in my parents room because he saw her, wearing a white dress and a cross necklace, standing in my father's closet. I was out of town when this happened.

Many in my family have the gift to see those on the other side, I am not one of them. What I fear is that one day I might come face to face with her, I am afraid she is not who we assume her to be. I don't know if she is my twin or what I fear most, something evil taking on the shape of the child my mother lost. My house was built in the 1970s no one has died here as far as I know, but things follow and feed off of members of my family and their energy. I once tried to figure out who or what she could be or what they want (there a many spirits in my house) my dad begged me not to, because when you seek something out you might actually find it. What could it be?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, sunshinemilia, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

InTheNight (2 stories) (34 posts)
 
3 years ago (2022-02-10)
A doppelgänger? (see wikipedia. The Ä is important)

I've heard some stories where they'll try to kill or otherwise take the place of the person they look like.

However i'm more curious about how didn't the doctors tell your mother they noticed another fetus/baby in ultrasound or something, even before they found out it was stillborn. That might sound minor, but it's also a big question you shouldn't overlook.
sunshinemilia (guest)
 
4 years ago (2021-01-25)
[at] lealeigh hi:) I haven't come back to this website for quite sometime as seeing so many people respond to my story inspired me to continue writing my experiences on other platforms (in more poetic ways I didn't think this site would appreciate much). I'm sure you had no intention of disrespect with your comment, but I do want to say that no this isn't a story from somewhere else. I know it's important to be skeptical when it comes to hearing about the supernatural but I was quite young when I wrote this, it took me a long time to work up the courage as my family pushed for these things to never be mentioned, and seeing so many people try to pick apart my experiences that have left me traumatized and terrified of even seeing my own reflection or being in a dark room when I genuinely just wanted answers or help felt very upsetting and is also another reason I stopped coming to this website. I moved out and felt safe but current events have brought me back home and I was reminded again of this website. I will be adding that Anne rice book to my reading list:)
Cosmos (26 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-03-12)
Dearest Maria,

Thank you so much for your comment. Likewise, I really enjoy your comments too. You nicely articulate your points, always gentle towards others and yet you have that critical eye that notices missing pieces.

Like on this comment the moment I submitted it, I knew that there was something was missing with it, the conclusion. Wrapping it in a way that make sense to the readers.
But your comment couldn't have complimented better.
As you said, this post could be merely a good plot line from a book like the novels from Anne Rice.

Once again many thanks for putting it into this context.

****

Going back to my typos, I can already see a few. Such as directors was supposed to be doctors, and the deep note is missing and I.

I am aware that every now and then I am missing words, I make punctuation mistakes, I have typos and sometimes they are not even grammatically correct (before Biblio writes anything let me do my self critic 😂). The reason these mistakes happen is that because at night we take turns with my wife to feed our baby and change her nappy. Often times I find it difficult to go back to sleep. So, I read the posts on YGS, and enjoy the valuable comments. Then sometimes I quickly type a comment without waking my wife. So, usually I am on my mobile, all lights are dimmed, and especially when I am sleepy my language skills are impaired. So, once again apologies for these typos.
Lealeigh (5 stories) (512 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2020-03-11)
Cosmos,

You are too humble. ❤

As far as I can tell, you have perfect English and it appears to be better than mine!

I have enjoyed reading your comments, whenever you write them.

***

Every time that I have visited this story and it's comment section, I have had a nagging feeling that I have read this before.

I don't mean anything terribly critical by this; but a miscarried twin growing up in ghost form, alongside their living twin, is the main plotline of one of those old Anne Rice books. It is called "Blackwood Farm".

- Maria
Cosmos (26 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2020-03-11)
Hello Emilia and all,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I must admit the discussions around it are interesting.

Before I start I just want to take my seat and move next to Lady-glow. There are many things with this narrative that don't fit smoothly.

Apologies for bringing the discussion back to where LuciaJacinta left it.
I am a father to an eight months baby and during my wife's pregnancy I was next to her at every check-up. I clearly remember one of the most crucial inspections was done around the baby's heartbeat. Dr. Listened to it carefully, took a print out and checked everything to ensure the baby was a health one.

Emilia correct me please if I am wrong. Your comments indicated the below.

" I was supposed to be a twin. The doctors never told my mother and she never saw it in any ultrasound"

"She didn't go to the doctor until her NEXT ultrasound and either then or shortly after they induced her and I was born very very early"

I would be interested to know, at the first ultrasound if the directors checked the baby's heartbeat. Because that would be the time they would detect your twin immediately with the multiple heartbeats.

Let's consider that at the first check up one of the co-twins was already miscarried. Perhaps in this case, doctors wouldn't be able detect the second heartbeat.

Let's go with this case, so, we may be looking at a vanishing twin syndrome. Usually in these cases the miscarried fetus is either absorbed by the co-twin, mother or the placenta. In the event of a vanishing twin syndrome, especially when it happens at the first trimester, (although there maybe some complications) doctors predict that the risks to the remaining one is minimal.

However if this happens in the second or third trimester there are increased complications to the surviving one (which I don't assume was your case otherwise the second hearth-beat would been already detected at the first check-up).

I personally find it hard to believe a miscarried fetus aging in tandem with you and haunting the whole family.

I apologies if I my comment quite direct, I don't mean to upset you, it's just my unfiltered opinion.

Thank you for reading my comments and once again thank you for sharing this story with us.

Ps: Apologies for any typos and other mistakes. My poor English is even more challenged when type on my mobile.
sunshinemilia (guest)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-22)
[at] lady-glow I tried talking to my family about acknowledging her and naming her but it seemed the more I tried to talk about it the more frequent the activity in the house became. That just scared them more into not wanting to talk about it, I kept hearing something hit my bed post at night and I would roll onto my right ear (I'm deaf in my left ear so when I roll over I can't hear anything) and then my bed would shake once or twice and then it'd all stop. I kept feeling like I was being watched in the night and had my room blessed a few times. My sister started having night terrors again and my brother woke up from being choked by something. I don't know if it was this spirit in particular as there are multiple but It was the most uncomfortable and unsafe I'd felt and nothing seemed to help so finally I moved out of my family home. My apartment has been fine, every once in a while I'll feel like I'm being watched but overall I'm much happier and I feel lighter, less stressed out and depressed. Everyone's advice I'm sure would have helped had my family cooperated more but I knew they wouldn't so I did what was best for me.
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1566 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2020-01-18)
Blbllothecarlus

Journey of the Souls by Michael Newton

2000 subjects under hypnosis over a span of many years have reported to mr Newton we all reincarnate in soul groups ranging from 5 to 25. There are other cluster groups we work with however, keeping it brief as requested!

Regards daz
lady-glow (16 stories) (3197 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-18)
aussiedaz.

I'm going to move my answer to one of my stories.

Emilia.

It has been around six months since your story was posted, you got sound advice and suggestions but, have you put any of these to practice? If so, did it have any effect on your situation?
Bibliothecarius (9 stories) (1091 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2020-01-18)
Greetings, sunshinemilia.

I hope you don't mind my asking aussiedaz to clarify his information in one of his responses to you.

Aussiedaz, you stated in your post on January 18th that: "You and your sister belong to the same soul group. Soul groups range from 5 to 25 souls, often they plan to come into the earth matrix together." I have no fundamental disagreement with your spiritual beliefs nor with your asserting data from your research. However, I've only previously heard assertions of groups of two or three souls that choose simultaneous incarnation within our world. Would you mind giving a brief description of where you got the higher numbers from? (I'm grading Midterm Exams, so "brief" is a serious request.)

Thanks,
Biblio.
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1566 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2020-01-18)
LadyGlow

Coincidentally,A lady posted her account in a facebook group of around 73, 000 members of which in my view was a classic case of The Old Hag Syndrome. I won't leave any names here if the mods decide to delete this post I'll understand.

(Person A)
About a week ago I woke up in the middle of the night... I have a surge protector with things plugged into it... I looked at the cord and honest to God I could see the electricity pulsing through the cord... It was lit up... Just the cord... Then last night I opened my eyes to see these 2 claw like appendages above my face as I was sleeping on my back... They diappeared as I opened my eyes, caught a glimpse... Freaked me out... What is going on... This is no joke.

My response
Darren
Old hag syndrome, you are not alone... It probably falls under sleep paralysis however sometimes you can interact with it on what seems to be a waking environment... My episode goes back to 1984, hold your nerve and show no fear the illusion disappears with in a heart beat.

Person 2...response to my remark.

That's a very interesting comment, many years ago I had very similar experiences and when frozen with fear it lasted longer and more frequent but as my resolve and curiosity to try and approach it (paralyzed physically) it would distance itself and when I finally found the strength to overcome the paralysis, these events never happened again!

[at] LadyGlow and O.P
It's encouraging to hear another person out there overcome sleep paralysis via letting go of the fear. The first step in overcoming negative energy is not to fear it. The second step is turning a negative experience into a positive. My grandmother used to say to me, I felt bad about not owning a pair of shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

The O.P has two choices, she can believe something evil and negative is out to get her or she can choose to believing it's her loving twin sister reaching out from another dimension or universe. We are all at the centre of our own universe as consciousness creators we create our own reality.

Take your pick Emilia.

Regards Daz
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1566 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-18)
LadyGlow

- the spirits know the OP's relatives can see them and are trying to get their attention and asking for help?

Possibly, One night a few years back, a woman with long black hair sat on my bed and ran a knife through my chest, I actually felt the blade go in, was this woman trying to feed of my energy and send me bonka's? Or turn me into a psychic hypochondriac on medication?...no,as it turned out she was murdered in a park not far from where I lived, she was after my help... Sometimes spirit may be miss interpreted as negative entities when in fact, they are lost and need help.

If I lived in a 'haunted' place, my first idea would be to send those spirits to the light (wherever the light is) but, in your opinion, would this be the right thing to do and would it be even possible?...

It may be possible, however time don't work the same over there as it does here. Some new souls are a little loss on their way back home and refuse to see the light... There are even lessons in that... Their higher self will remain in the back seat and let it play out however, when they are ready, they'll let go, or they'll allow their spirit guide in to take them home... A 100 years here may only feel like a week over there...however, some peeps do have a skill at moving them on.

If, like you say, there are multiple universes meshing together, how could one know if the 'entities' showing up on ones universe are innocuous and it's okay to allow them there, or if they are dangerous and should be removed from ones space?

I don't believe they are dangerous, there seems to be some sort of spiritual law that doesn't allow outside entities to cross a certain line (albeit some documented possessions) otherwise we'd be living in hell and half of the good folk here wouldn't see another sunset, I have had some extremely terrifying accounts of which in hindsight, has taught me a few things about facing my fears... I have conquered sleep paralysis through the power of the mind always see the positive, the glass is half full.

And, if it is necessary to get rid of a negative energy, where do they go? Is there a universe for all the things 'negative", or is 'negative' only one shade of an absolute total?

Probably nowhere, the ying yang philosophy suggest you need both forces to keep nature balanced? May have a point.

Regards Daz
lady-glow (16 stories) (3197 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
Hello aussiedaz.

I'm interested on knowing your opinion about the following part of this story:

"Many in my family have the gift to see those on the other side... Things follow and feed off of members of my family and their energy... (there a many spirits in my house) ".

My "traditional" way of thinking makes me wonder if:

- the spirits know the OP's relatives can see them and are trying to get their attention and asking for help
- there is a portal in the house

If I lived in a 'haunted' place, my first idea would be to send those spirits to the light (wherever the light is) but, in your opinion, would this be the right thing to do and would it be even possible?
If, like you say, there are multiple universes meshing together, how could one know if the 'entities' showing up on ones universe are innocuous and it's okay to allow them there, or if they are dangerous and should be removed from ones space?

And, if it is necessary to get rid of a negative energy, where do they go? Is there a universe for all the things 'negative", or is 'negative' only one shade of an absolute total?

Thanks in advance for your answer.
lady-glow (16 stories) (3197 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
Emilia.

You are right, I don't "know more about someone's birth than that person and their doctors" and the only thing I have to base my opinion upon, is the narrative I'm reading.
It's not easy to trust narratives with discrepancies and contradictions.

" I was supposed to be a twin. The doctors never told my mother and she never saw it in any ultrasound"

"She didn't go to the doctor until her NEXT ultrasound and either then or shortly after they induced her and I was born very very early"

"from what I can tell my parents were not big on ultrasound so I assume before I was born was the only time they had gotten one"

I don't expect you to agree with me but, have you noticed that first you seem to suggest that there was more than just one ultrasound to later say that it might have been only one?

According to the following article https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/meconium.html

"some babies pass meconium while still in the womb during late pregnancy." (Please notice LATE pregnancy)

But you were "born very very early because (this is embarrassing) while in the womb I was about to make a bowel movement "

From the same article:

"Babies are more likely to pass meconium when:

They've had a long or hard delivery.
They are born past their due date.
The mother has a health problem, like diabetes or high blood pressure.
The mother smoked or used drugs during the pregnancy.
They didn't grow well before birth."

Interestingly, though there's information about detection of meconium-stained amniotic fluid through ultrasound, this diagnosis is done only AFTER the baby's body waste has already reached the fluid, unlike your situation.
Https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2696778

"when she was about 5 or 6 months pregnant with me my father threw her over a desk and she began to bleed heavily"

I don't know if, (forgive me for the word I'm going to use but, in my opinion, that's the only way to call it), the abuse of your father upon your mother could have caused some complications like you almost soiling the amniotic fluid while still in the womb, but I will appreciate if you can direct me to any article supporting the facts you have presented in your narrative and comments.

I guess your story is a good example of the importance of getting prenatal care during pregnancy, even if the doctors looking after your mother might have been... Shady.

My apologies if my comment took the sunshine away from your screen name... I didn't mean to turn you into a snowflake.

Cheers!
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1566 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
When you go down the rabbit hole it will open your mind up to a lot of possibilities Emilia. The truth is stranger than a science fiction movie, you just need to brush aside the disinformation, keep an opened mind and apply logic.

Another possibility? You and your sister belong to the same soul group. Soul groups range from 5 to 25 souls, often they plan to come into the earth matrix together. The bond between you two may be the force behind what you and your family are experiencing now. Consciousness is fundamental to our existence the power of love, mind, memories and emotions can transcend through the fabric of space and time... Life is an illusion, love is real, your sister may be reaching out to you on a subliminal level.

Regards!
sunshinemilia (guest)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
[at] aussiedaz I never considered this! But that makes a lot of sense and would answer so many questions! I'm really open to possibilities of everything and I think more research on that possibility just might satiate my curiosity and ease my fear:) thank you so much
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1566 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
Sunshinemilia

I don't believe it's an evil entity out for revenge so nothing to worry about there, more than likely it's bouts of two universe's randomly meshing together where your twin sister appears to be living out her life like nothing ever happened.

String theory was pulled together by some extremely intelligent theoretical physicist who put forward a mathematical hypothesis that suggest not only do we exist in this reality, we exist in many realities all with slight variations.

The hypothesis and some of those variations suggest you may live in one universe however due to Murphy's law you don't live in another.
The fate of your twin sister was to exist as planned before her birth, her soul continues on in one reality where as in this reality, something went wrong and you guys seemed to be haunted by the law of string theory and her interaction of existence? Btw, The doctor never told your mother about your sister? I wonder why?

Anyway, I have personally witnessed the meshing of two universes in the presence of my son where this car came into our reality and vanished just as quick. Furthermore, there is a phenomenon known as the Mandela Effect of which I believe is the holy grail of evidence suggesting multiple universes can mesh together permanently... Just watch Tom Cruise dance without glasses? Typically by human nature, the sceptics put it down to a bad memory (baloney)... So these nerds with high I'Q's are on the mark in my view when it comes down to the fundamental principles of string theory.

If you came face to face in this reality... Your twin sister will talk to you with a life time of shared memories it won't seem out of the norm for her... In her reality you exist!.

Regards Daz
sunshinemilia (guest)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
[at] lealeigh Thank you! Your comments were very respectful and well worded:)
Lealeigh (5 stories) (512 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
Sunshinemilia,

That's cool. I was just slightly put off by the idea that malpractice was more rampant back then. I work in the pharmacy at a hospital; I see doctors and nurses all the time and I believe that the majority of them have their hearts in the right place and are professional. I have been working in pharmacies for your whole life but it doesn't really matter; I am not an expert on the motivations of everyone out there.

Thank you for responding to my comment.

- Maria
sunshinemilia (guest)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
[at] freakedoutfreddy when I first posted this I hadn't written for a long time so I understand this story is very messy and not well written but:) I've been writing and practicing everyday since and I've gotten a little better (not much) but I've got a lot of years to keep trying. I will admit I'm bad at just about every hobby I have but the point of a hobby isn't to be good just to like what you're doing:)
sunshinemilia (guest)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
[at] lealeigh yeah that is weird? When I first posted the story it said teenager and i'm most definitely STILL a teenager:) I'm not twenty until august, I guess the website is getting a head start but thank you for calling that to attention! I hadn't realized it changed
sunshinemilia (guest)
+1
5 years ago (2020-01-17)
[at] lady-glow ma'am google is free and literally one search will tell you that meconium sometimes happens in the womb, which was ALMOST my case and it can become toxic and block airways and cause complications during birth. I was in NICU and had to be tube fed and had tubes in my ears because I was so premature. It may come as a shock to you, but you're not a genius and most likely not a medical professional so perhaps research something before being blatantly offensive and rude. Rule of thumb for the future, maybe don't assume you know more about someone's birth than that person and their doctors.
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (5000 posts) mod
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-15)
Lealeigh - you are very close on the ages designated as Young Adult. From our Site Administrator, this is the breakdown:

"The age categories are pretty broad, I didn't want to be overly specific for privacy reasons:

20 or less = teenager
20 - 40 = young adult
40 - 60 = middle age adult
60 or more = senior adult"
freakedoutfreddy (1 stories) (77 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2020-01-14)
No offense dude, find a new hobby your writing skills suck. 😜 😁 😁
Lealeigh (5 stories) (512 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2020-01-14)
Sunshinemilia,

The site has designated your profile as belonging to a "young adult". You have to have been born between 1981 and 2001.

It seems kind of cynical to say that there were more quacks in the medical profession just because it was in the past. Trust me, I know cynical. Hell, it wasn't THAT long ago.

I don't really mean any offense.

- Maria
lady-glow (16 stories) (3197 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2020-01-14)
Beep...beep...beep.

Has anyone else's BS detector gone off?!?!?

"they induced her and I was born very very early because (this is embarrassing) while in the womb I was about to make a bowel movement and they had to get me out before I did or I would have died in there too."

Sunshinemilia... Are you aware that, during gestation, babies feed and eliminate body waste through the umbilical cord?
sunshinemilia (guest)
-2
5 years ago (2020-01-14)
[at] Breaghboo we live in a small city in the south and at the time of my birth it was even smaller than now. Doctors here, while most are very amazing and would never intentionally commit malpractice, there are a good chunk of doctors that are very... Shady. (many been caught practicing while on drugs or lying to patients.) I suppose I should have elaborated on the circumstances of my/our birth. My mother was quick to believe the medical records because when she was about 5 or 6 months pregnant with me my father threw her over a desk and she began to bleed heavily. She didn't go to the doctor until her next ultrasound and either then or shortly after they induced her and I was born very very early because (this is embarrassing) while in the womb I was about to make a bowel movement and they had to get me out before I did or I would have died in there too. I wonder why they never saw another on the ultrasound but it's not unheard of for them to be missed but from what I can tell my parents were not big on ultrasound so I assume before I was born was the only time they had gotten one. However, even on the chance that the medical records are wrong I still have the question of what the heck is that thing that's been in my house pretending to be me?
Breaghboo (2 stories) (15 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2019-11-02)
LuciaJacinta, not sure I agree with you entirely. When my mother, now in her 90s, was born at home in Scotland, her mother always believed she was one of twins because the doctor attending the birth took something away and flushed it down the toilet. My grandmother always believed this was an undeveloped foetus but was never told about it. Admittedly it was a long time ago, and you're possibly right that nowadays medical staff would have to disclose it but you do still hear of horrendous cover-ups.
LuciaJacinta (8 stories) (291 posts)
+6
5 years ago (2019-08-16)
This story has a bit of confusing things for me. I myself had a stillborn baby and there was no way you could have a stillbirth and not know you are having a baby. I just don't buy it.

More plausible is that you got terms misconstrued. It could be a twin that miscarried early on... Which I also experienced. But I just don't believe that the drs wouldn't tell your mom. That's legal information that would be important to know and no way to hide it. I mean if there was a full term stillbirth and the drs hid it, that would be a crime I would think. You can't just put a baby that developed to the side and just forget it. There's too many witnesses.

Now, as far as if this entity is your twin... I don't think so. If the baby did come back to contact relatives it would be to comfort them or say goodbye not to just scare people or hide in the closet.

There could very well be an entity or doppelganger but it's not you or her. That just wouldn't make sense. It's more logical that there is something that is a girl shape but you guys are just assuming it's the twin.

Just my 2 cents.

But, realistically, the best way to keep a spirit/soul/ twin at peace in this case would be to name her. Give her a stone or bench in a garden maybe with her name on it and find a place you can remember her existence. If it really was your twin, pretending she didn't even exist would probably upset her. To be safe since you don't know what it is, name her, have a memorial service that fits your beliefs and put her to rest.

And,Augusta... ❤
lady-glow (16 stories) (3197 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2019-08-15)
AugustaM. That mini-story of yours is so touching and bittersweet.
It makes me wonder if the spirits of all unborn children stay around or if they have a choice to move on and, perhaps, get another chance to live.

I'm sorry for your loss.
AugustaM (7 stories) (996 posts)
+7
5 years ago (2019-08-15)
Years ago, I ran away with my first love to San Francisco. Things did not work out and I came home an utterly devastated emotional wreck- "heart broken" just doesn't seem to go far enough. Within a few weeks of returning home, I also discovered I was pregnant. I knew right away that I would not tell him until I was firmly on my feet -no matter how long that may have taken- because I didn't want him back out of a sense of obligation. Sadly, once the panic had given way to allow in a bit of excited anticipation - I miscarried. Ever since then, I have seen her in my dreams - she grows and matures just as she would have in life. It took me ten years to finally tell tge father. There was a long silence afterwards then he shook his head and said "so that's who she is." He too had been seeing a little girl growing up in his dreams. I am still shaken by that confession.

Sometimes things are meant to be - sometimes they aren't. But just because they weren't "meant to be" doesn't mean they know that. After all these years, I don't get the feeling that any one of us, OP included, is plagued by demons in this guise. Perhaps if you all sit down as a family, acknowledge her existence, let her know she is loved and maybe put up a small memorial for her to show she existed - she may be able to find peace.

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