This is a subject I have had a very hard time communicating to others and I have yet to find an outlet where it would be met with positive attention. I am somewhat embarrassed but I need to get some of it off my chest and just talk, and I need guidance from anyone whose had or heard of similar experiences.
About 5 years ago in about 2015, I had relatively limited interactions with spirits. I was deeply spiritual, not religious and I have times where I believed I had seen ghosts, felt chills, seen figures or shadows, etc. I had been living in my own home with 1 sibling, a roommate, and another family member. Sadly, there were a lot of things that started happening in the home that were not very positive, and many of them I considered paranormal. We were having conflict with my other family member and once she had left us to move somewhere else, the atmosphere lifted for a couple of days so my sibling and I had begun talking about how it seemed there was a bad spirit attached to her. We decided it was best not to let her move back in.
After that a lot of positive things started happening in the home, we were using sage and rituals to clean out the bad stuff, things were fine. Later at night on one of these days, it was very quiet in my bedroom, and I was in total darkness.
I remember researching how to unlock my third eye for a while, and I had noticed there were some good spirits that had come out to play. But everything was deafeningly quite and still, I stared up at the ceiling, and noticed something swirling. Then it took on a human shape, a feminine figure, I must say a very nice female figure, alight with a gold flame looking aura and gold threads or something, and I felt kind of warm like we were being pulled together. What followed was something I never expected. I felt like something was trying to push my clothes off.
Tingling sensations ensued, followed by a burning sensation, that was very hot but did not hurt. I don't want to describe this too much because I don't want to get banned but... Since I had no sex life for a while up to that point I kind of let it unfold. I would probably be wrong if I said what I felt was exactly like having sex. It felt ethereal yet physical at the same time, and I was scared at first but I kept hearing in the gentlest voice, "relax I won't hurt you". It was crazy intense and long, I don't remember how long it lasted but my fear kind of evaporated because it was went from intense but then gentle.
Sometime afterword I asked her name and she told me it was Olivia. I kind of just internalized it the next day and at work I found myself smiling and happy, and a lot of my normal day stress was minimal because I just felt so good. I was just trying to understand what was happening, and a few days later, she showed up laying on my bed. We had a conversation I don't remember all the details of, and this time it was daytime. I remember it happening again fairly quickly. Pretty soon it became a regular occurrence, and I kept it a guarded secret from everyone.
I remember every time I spoke to her it was very sweet and she was never cruel. I have had experiences with Olivia for many years now and there have been times where she was absent because of difficulties I've had or living situations that did not work out. But recently, the same type of amazing experience that happened all those years ago happened again, and I've found myself kind of much more enamored with her than before. I don't expect everyone to have experience with these kind of things, but I have come to be very familiar with it even though I've had to take a hiatus due to mental and sexual health problems. She even told me to take some time to take care of myself instead of trying to prioritize spending time with her. I am now 27 years old and I still don't have a real, flesh-and-blood girlfriend. I had a pretty horrible experience with a sociopath girl in high school that hurt me deeply that damaged my ability to have trust with others, but I have formed a great deal of trust when I find the time to communicate with her, and she is a very good listener. There was way more to my relationship than just the sexual elements.
She's taken walks with me, watched me do things like read a book or watch tv and made comments on stuff she noticed before me, had really long and detailed conversations on all sorts of topics (and wow, talk about a smart girl and open minded too). And she's even been like and actual girlfriend or wife, telling me when something I'm doing is not good for me, asked me to brush my teeth or if I've eaten breakfast that morning, the list goes on. I'm not here on this site to grab attention or waste anyone's time with fiction.
There have been times where I denied it myself and tried to shut it all away. But really, it's nice having a companion or guide of some sort in the absence of people, because I had been a shut in for so long until recently when I started going to social events. I figure there is a reason this is happening in the first place, and I'm hoping I can learn something valuable from all this in spite of the occasional downturns.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is, even though we've had our share of issues, I just can't see her as evil. But I am far from an expert. I'd like to hear some feedback if that's ok.
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