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My Doctors Don't Believe Me - I Can't Be Crazy

By bijouxmiu
(2 stories) (2 posts) (the author is a young adult)
Date: 2010-01-25
Country: Norway
Paranormal Category: Apparitions / Voices / Touches

I need help I really need help. Either I'm going insane or this is real. I'm seeing a doctor but I need second opinions regarding this field of intuition.

I was going to post this in the psychic page but this isn't about ESP or whatever it pertains to the in-between, the next layer. The unknown and indefinable place we sense as children some more than others the ghosts, the dead if that's what they are. They surf through my existence.

I could always sense those who walk beyond the veil weather they were good or evil or whatever happens in that other place. God it scared the CRAP out of me all through my childhood. The sleepless nights the confusion and fear, I had no control. I always felt unsafe because I was so guarded and ignorant. I finally was able to close that door in my mind... But it's begun jarring open again. Though now things are different, it's not just a feeling. This has become a tangible problem that is either a psychic one or a psychiatric one.

I'm a 21 year old woman and I'm hearing things that aren't there (or are they?) I'm seeing figures standing over me in my awakening, my dreams are becoming more and more lucid, I can feel presences, not a presence but more than one like I'm standing in the middle of a spiritual highway and I'm being run over in the night blindly by those who have crossed or are in the in-between. I'm being watched I can't explain everything. I can't help but be guarded and I don't know enough yet so I have to leave lights on and leave the TV set on to drown out the whispers so I can sleep.

Either I have an ability that I have suppressed for so long its burst out like a floodgate and I'm severely overwhelmed trying to gain control of it or the worst in the mental illness realm has begun to take its course on my mind. What if its not whispers from the other side? What if I'm a schizophrenic?

My doctor doesn't believe me, he shrugs it off because I haven't shown signs before but YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO! THIS IS THE AGE FOR FEMALES FOR THE PROCESS OF MENTAL DETERIORATION! It's that or I have a gift or a curse! I just... I need some sound advice from someone who won't look down on me or sweep this turmoil under the rug. I need traction! I just need to be taken seriously please help!

If you are a medium to the spirit world have you ever been in this dilemma?

I feel like the lady from "Candyman" or Halle Barry in "gothika" where no one believes you they just think you're damaged.

If I don't get this in gear I'm going to end up in a rubber room.

How do I find control?

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, bijouxmiu, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Kayla_Lynn (3 stories) (10 posts)

11 years ago (2013-09-07)

I agree with anyone_there. If you were suffering from a mental illness, you wouldn't question whether you were or weren't.

I cannot tell you with absolute conviction what's going on, but I can, however, give you an opinion. My opinion is that you obtain a gift. One that allows you to be sensitive to the Spirit World. Spirits tend to be attracted to those who have the ability to see, hear or feel them. It sounds to me like the "door" has reopened, and these "guests" are coming through.

Now it's a matter of gaining control of the situation. My suggestion: figure out what they're there for. Surely there's a reason so many are coming to you. Perhaps they need help. Perhaps guidance. Possibly even a friend. Comfort. Only they can help you figure it out. Once you've done that, it's up to you how to handle it.

I wish you luck in your endeavors.

anyone_there (4 posts)

13 years ago (2011-08-14)

i don't think I could give any advice in the Gift department but I'd just like to say, stop going to the doctor because if you were actually mentally ill then you wouldn't be considering that you were ill. You'd be positive you weren't...if that makes sense. Anyway you definitely don't have any illness or whatever. Anyways good luck with the rest. 😊 ❤

Brier (2 stories) (54 posts)

14 years ago (2010-10-27)

i had this problem when I was little. But my mom also had the same problem. So that helped her to believe me.
What I did was block out everything because it seriously freaked me out. I had to change bedrooms a few times because of orbs. I don't know if the voices and orbs were related. There were also what seemed like something watching me sleep.

Anyway, I haven't heard voices for a long time but I still see the orbs once in a while. I suppose I could try to listen again, but I don't know if I want to.

To protect my mind, I imagine myself covered in a light blue aura-like substance that starts from my head to my toes. When I'm completely covered, I let it stay there for a few seconds. Then I imagine it exploding outward and chasing away everything dangerous. It really helps me.

Airam (2 posts)

14 years ago (2010-06-03)

If you're still having these problems, you may contact me through my email which you'll find on my profile - I'm Norwegian aswell 😊

letaroO (1 stories) (8 posts)

15 years ago (2010-03-08)

Hi bijouxmiu, don t worry, I think what you are feeling is real. Don t be scared, ghosts are just energies of people who haven t yet crossed over to the light. Do you know anything about shielding? You can control when you what the entities to talk to you or not to talk to you at all. If you shield none of other energies will be able to be in direct contact with you e.g. Touch you or harm you. To shield you have to imagine a material that you like e.g. Air, wood, iron and envelope yourself in it. If you can imagine it, the shield is there. I used shielding to prevent ghosts from touching me at night. You can also do the same with the place where you live. I for example imagine all my flat shielded before going to sleep and it helps to prevent entities to distorb my sleep. Feel free to read my profile or get in touch:) Good luck!

zzsgranny (18 stories) (3329 posts) mod

15 years ago (2010-01-28)

bijoux: to expand on one of jhawker points:channeling your energy in a positive way... Get those creative juices flowing!... Write stories, poems, paint, draw, sew, sculpt... Any thing that you can think of... Writing poetry helps me, as sometimes I don't even know what's on my mind until I start to write... I sew also, and do all kinds of crafty stuff... It helps to clear your mind if your focus is to have to figure out how something fits or to make it look or sound right... Trust me, works for me! ❤

Moongrim (2 stories) (871 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-28)

Sometimes the best 'control' is to not try to be in control. Ride the waves, not try to stand against them.

aussiedaz (19 stories) (1566 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-28)

There's a lot of good and intellegent advice below, have you thought about sleeping with classical music on? I'm not sure were your faith is and respect your right to believe what you will,I'm not frighten anymore by my experiences, but when it use to bother me I would keep my eyes shut and repeat jesus loves me over and over until I went to sleep, your not insane,
Take care

jhawker (1 stories) (1 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-27)

I obviously do not know you other than what you write but as another stated, if you were schitzophrenic, I do not think that you would be as congnisant of your verbiage, grammatical structure et cetera.

First, is there a family history of mental illness or having experiences of illusion of any kind? I am someone who has experienced the paranormal since I was 4 years of age. As I have aged, I have seen many more things and have experienced several paranormal interactions/experiences more than I can count.

Second, some individuals are far more sensitive to their surroundings than others. Many of these people are very in-tune with their bodies, tend to sense when something bad is going to happen and often have many random episodes of deja vu. Remember we are constantly surrounded by and producing energy from our bodies.

If you have something that is trying to communicate with you, do you sense if it is positive or negative? Are you dong anything in particular when these episodes occur?

You are right when you state that fear feeds negative energy so I encourage you to use positive re-enforcements to discourage negative energies. However, the one thing that I find concerning is the fact that you have had evil or demonic entities in your presence before adulthood. Sometimes these things become attached to someone and will disappear for a time and then show up when there has been something that triggers it. Perhaps a tragic event or very low period in your life. For this, you need to consult a professional and you also need to ensure that you are channeling your energy in a positive way. Don't forget that those who have gone before us are never far away and can often be called upon in prayer to protect and guide us.

You have done the right thing by reaching out to others. I hope what I have said will help ease your mind and give you some positive direction. If you truly have the gift of seeing those who have not yet moved on or are witnessing residule hauntings, you have been blessed with a gift. I know it can be scary, it has taken me many years to accept my sensativity to this type of phenomenon, but I am positive that knowing how to accept it and respect it will help you be able to understand it.

JamesRobiscoe (419 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-27)

bijouxmiu--I must say that most schizophrenics do not speak or write as cogently as you do. If you haven't had a complete physical and full panel blood work done, do yourself a favor and avail yourself of them. Searching for a solution to problems is often best done by ordered and systematic approach. By process of elimination, you can learn what it isn't.

To begin gaining control, you must, like all of us, accept that you HAVE the power (and tools) to do so. Saying "I have no control but want it" is like the horse rider who refuses to take the reins laying on the saddle.

Because we are unable to know ALL about any entity or experience may be so, but that doesn't mean we can't know SOME things about it.

Give up the extreme mode. Very little in life is either all "A" or "B." I understand desperation leads to extreme emotions, but these easily lead to extreme thinking and narrow our channels to let in the variations and colors of what is actual.

This is not to lecture but to offer you straightforward belief that you can improve your situation. Many of us, like the good people undersigned below, have been through our own ordeals and want only to help each other. Stay courageous. What's the Norwegian proverb that ends "...if you've lost courage, you've lost everything"?
God be with you. ~ James

bijouxmiu (2 stories) (2 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-27)

Wardo- what youve said surprised me.
You say I surpass your abilities and that you should be learning from me...
If only I knew what it is I could teach you.

I still constantly doubt whatever this is. I refuse to define it because it is something we can never know.
My brain is no bigger than yours, or no one elses is bigger than mine. We are all equal in this plain. Perhaps all I CAN say is that every person is an island. We find our own path in our own way. We will never have all the awnsers because even though some people minds are wired differently we are all limited in our humanity.

Doubt is human and it is HUMBLE! The certitude you will find about the unknown from thouse who claim to see into the beyond or from religious leaders is what should be guarded.

Noone has all the awnsers. I don't have all the awnsers infact I feel so downright ignorant and small like I'm slipping into a deep ocean wayed down by the murky depths of unawnswered questions.

Perhaps our granted indivuduality makes us all wayfarers in the walk of life.
But I can't say for sure, the unknown is called so for a reason, because we can never really know it.

jazzeyjay (3 stories) (215 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

bijouxmiu: I sure hope you can find someone who can assist you. I can tell you right now, that Psychiatrist and the medical community are not educated enough to handle this that you and many other's are going through. There are so many people locked up in institutions right now because they were labeled as having schizaphrenia and other mental disorders and don't have any of them, but have a psychic gift. There are parasychologist out there that can help you. Keep us posted on your progress. Try to find someone who has good credentials.

God bless you

jre317 (1 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

I realy don't have much of a comment, but you are not crazy, and I have a story to tell, but I don't need help. I want to help. I believe your story, and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Doctors anylze wrong just because they don't see or hear them. One day they might see these things, and when they do what will they say?

zzsgranny (18 stories) (3329 posts) mod

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

bijou: I don't think that this is something that can be controled, per se... I think that just by accepting the fact that you have a gift will help... Forget the part about trying to control it, and the sooner you come to terms with it the better... Try to find some one to help you get your chakras aligned and healed... Whispers that are of your own mind will most times sound like YOU... Try meditating on them and see if you can understand what they are saying... DeviousAngel also gave you some good advice... Try whatever you can to divert your focus, and maybe enough quiet will come, so that just the important voices come through... And calm down 😊...We're friends here!

tyneetater (2 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

I know the feeling about people thinking that something is wrong with you because you experience things outside of their understanding and beliefs. I have dealt with sensing something/one enter a room in most places that I have lived, seen shadows out of the corner of my eye, had someone/thing whisper my name in my ear. I have experienced dreaming of a being in a certain place at a certain time with certain people and after a period of time, it actually happening. It has happened to many times for me to feel comfortable saying it was dejavu. I spoke to someone about how I sense spirits/ghost and they told me that the spirits/ghost can see certain people as a beacon of light in the dark and that they are drawn to it. Whether it be to seek comfort or to move on to a more peaceful place and to send a particular person a message. Whatever it might be you are not alone and you will never be the only one who goes through that. I hope that you find the answers that you are seeking soon.

Good Luck!

Wardo (8 stories) (171 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

Let's start by saying that the medical profession will hold fast to their theories as long as they're getting paid to do so. Just as a medium is in the business to make some money for their gifts as well. Everyone needs to earn a living, but it is the way that they handle it that can make them fishy in some ways. Don't discard tv psychics completely yet, because they are merely exercising their gifts as a profession. Honestly, I was never really one to give them full credit either, but I never really discount them as having gifts right away. In other words, they're not all scam artists.

On the note of your sanity, there are many things you can do to check your own level of credibility. For instance, having others verify some events may help you out, but I think you must really have a gift that allows you to look quite deeply into the spiritual realm. Others may not really be able to see the things you do because you are so psychically tuned to some of those occurrences.

I would have to agree with some of the other comments on your post so far. All of them sound like they are trying to help you and give you some thoughtful insight. I honestly do NOT think you are the least bit crazy, I just have the feeling that you aren't at all skittish.

I would really recommend that you get in touch with a medium or psychic also that you feel can help you out.

DeviousAngel said it best with the comment about not being crazy if you think you are. It is true that crazy people usually do not know that they are the least bit crazy. Sorry for the vulgar term "crazy" as it can be interpreted that way, but I don't mean it that way at all, just brevity of terms.

I really wish I could help you more with some solid information, but you are so far beyond my personal abilities, I feel that I should be learning from you! Don't worry, Jesus will keep your soul as long as you are a loving, good person. Don't worry too much about being insane because it just isn't so. Keep us posted on what you are able to find, and please never give up! God bless you and I seriously will pray for you to find your answers.

LouSlips (10 stories) (979 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

Bijou,
Breathe. Breathe again... Although not a female, my experiences began when I was twenty-four...I do not have what you have, but I have enough. I almost think it would be easier to know your abilities from birth and learn to live with them, then to have it thrust upon us... But we have to play the hand we are dealt.
Just as your ability is within you, so is your personal strength. I will not squelch others' beliefs or practices... But why bother with the cards? You knew which one was coming before you pulled it...didn't you. Your new beginning has already begun... This is not a change of life, but a new existence. Control will come in your acceptance of it, and you will be able to help others (and yourself) when you embrace it.
I don't know what will work best for you, but I literally envision thick walls around me, when the cocktail party around me gets too loud. Once the walls are up, I can push them out and away from me to distance the sound and to choose what or who to engage.
The visual aspect is another issue entirely... Sometimes dead people just look too dead... Steel your nerves and concentrate, if they truly want to communicate, many times they can be coaxed into altering their appearance to cause less of a shock factor.

God bless... We are not crazy.
Lou

bijouxmiu (2 stories) (2 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

My next door neighbour and close friend in taking me to her sister this thursday to brainstorm and find some connections. Theyre the best I have to help me explore this.

DeviousAngel- your advice is sound and true. It pertains mostly to things I'm doing right now. I have some sense of control considering how I divide the contours of my mind. I see it like a car that I have the steering wheel to. Or a land of many doors only I can open and close. Its my mind and I have the keys! I can drive it! As for symbols. The pentacle has always granted me saftey aswell as the ankh.

Its just the magnatude of occurences. Its never been so tangible, I feel less fearful now (I know this is probably going to sound stupid) but after I saw "The Lovely Bones" I decided not to hide away and be afraid. Its just a little overwhealing. Like a crying kid on an airplane:P

BTW I think tv psychics are bullshiat too! If this is a part of me that I'm finally able to reel in without fear and I can help someone. I don't need tv exposure or extra cash.

But considering how long and hard I have surpressed this side of me... What if I can never gain control? What if this stuff is like learning ballet? You'll never get to julliard unless youve been training scince infancy, And I haven't exactly been training I have just been scared and wanted it to go away. All thouse years I could have perfected this craft I wasted away in cowardice.

I pulled the card of judgement up last night. Right side up...
...a new way of life?

DeviousAngel (11 stories) (1910 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

Well, I would recommend two different things. First of all, don't consult a physician about mental illness because they have no idea what to do with that realm. Talk to a psychiatrist or a psychologist. A psychologist can actually prescribe medicine for you if it is a mental illness problem, which I don't think it is, honestly. The other person you should see is a medium. I'm not necessarily going to say a psychic because a lot of them are frauds. Personally, I don't believe in anyone who is highly commercialized (e.g. Sylvia Brown) because anyone with a gift such as this should not be making a mockery of it by selling it to the masses. See someone you feel you can trust and are comfortable with upon first meeting.

One of the major things that I want to stress is to gather your courage, and find something solid to hold onto. Be it a relationship with a loved one, a friendship, a personal possession, a religion or religious symbol, whatever makes you feel safe and use that to ward off things that you don't want to harm you. Whatever it is that you can channel your strength into, focus on that thing and it will keep you safe.

The first sign that you are not crazy is the fact that you think you might be.:) People who are actually crazy usually think they are perfectly sane.

bldfalcon (12 stories) (262 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

i have a gift too, but I only can communicate them inside my dream. Hearing and seeing is common now a days, everyone can probably see them if they have some sort of tramatic expeirience in their life. Also, I do see people die in my dream, but I don't know if that means anything.

Pjod (3 stories) (978 posts)

15 years ago (2010-01-26)

Is there a legit Psychic in your area that you can go to? Someone like Sylvia Brown I think should be able to help. I believe that some folks who end up in a Psychiatric Unit, may have similiar problems as you. They may not be mental, just experiencing the paranormal on a very personal level. I think you need to speak to someone in the know, who can steer you in the right direction. If I were you, I would visit the Library and get some books out on this subject... Or maybe a google search for info.

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