First, I would like to dedicate this story to Miracles. Because of her, I have started to keep a diary of all of my past and present experiences. The following story happened over 20 years ago. Please enjoy.
I lost my father to cancer in 1987, he was only 45 years of age, and being his oldest girl, we were very close. His death nearly destroyed me. Not long after his death I discovered I was pregnant with twins only to lose them at four and half months. Not long after that, my first husband asked me for a divorce. During the time of our separation I tried to make my estranged husband jealous by going out with another guy. This plan only back-fired on me after the guy raped me. You can say the late eighties were not kind to me. With the death of my father, the loss of the twins, the divorce and the rape I had come to the conclusion to end my life. I was making plans on what would be the easiest way to end my life without any mishaps when I started to have morning sickness. Here I was, about to be single again and I was pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, I feel that God put that baby inside of me for a reason - I felt that baby was there to save my life. I would also be bringing the first grandchild into the family. My father always wanted a little boy but he was blessed with 4 girls and died before any of us girls had a chance to give him a grandson.
Fast forward to 1989, my son, Ryan was about 7 months old and I had adjusted to the single life. Ryan and I lived in an apartment. The apartment was a two storey. Living area, half bath and kitchen were all down stairs and two bedrooms and a full bath were upstairs.
I considered myself as a good little mama and taken care of all the needs for an infant and being single on top of that to this day I pat myself on the back for a job well done.
One morning, Ryan woke up and was crying. I got out of bed to go to his room but I had to make a quick pit stop to the bathroom or I would be cleaning up more than a dirty diaper - if you know what I mean. I left the bathroom door opened as I was taking care of business and the whole time I was trying to sooth Ryan by calling out to him that mama was coming. That's when I heard a male voice coming from Ryan's room - I knew we were the only ones in the apartment. This voice was sort of singing to Ryan - the voice was "cooing" and shushing Ryan. I distinctly heard "there, there, hush little fellow" Ryan had hushed and I rushed into his bedroom to see who was in our apartment. Of course, no one was there but, Ryan was lying on his back cooing and smiling at the ceiling and waiting happily for mama to change his diaper and give him a bottle. I know it was my father the "voice" sounded like my dad's. I firmly believe that my dad was looking out for his oldest daughter and oldest grandson.
My dad may not have been there in body but he was definitely there in spirit. I pretty sure that my dad has visited us off and on in later years. One of those visits happened in my "1318 Smokey Road" Story. When dad does visit his presence is very strong.
I look forward to many more visits in the future. I love you dad.
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