After reading LouSlip's story "Walter in the Basement," I decided it was time to submit this story. I've held off because I, like Lou, wasn't sure how it would be received.
As some of you know, I had a little girl ghost when my daughter, Jerrica, was little. I've submitted two stories about her, "I Need My Mommy" and "I Need My Mommy 2." After I left Jerrica's dad, I felt like I left my own child behind. This was very hard for me for a long time. I saw her, I heard her. I know it was irrational, but I felt like I had abandoned her.
I tried to find out who she was, who the family might have been that lived there, but I kept coming up with dead ends. Our local courthouse "purges" records after so many years I was told. I went to our local newspaper and tried the archives and microfiche. But I didn't have a name or even a year so I came away empty handed there also. From my former neighbor, I knew there had been three families who had rented the home who had daughters. My neighbor knew two of the families and knew that their daughters had grown to adults. But one family she didn't know what had happened to them. They had three daughters and they just "moved one night." All of this information was just to let you know I tried to find out who she was and what happened to her. I couldn't.
Like I said, this bothered me. I mean really bothered me. It got to the point where it would bring tears to my eyes because I felt like I was the only one who could help her and I wasn't doing anything to help her. Finally, months after I'd left that house, I found a psychic. This is the same woman who told me if I opened myself up again "they would come."
When I told her I needed help, I asked her if I could send the little girl to the light without going back in that house. She told me yes, I could and told me how to do it. I picked a night that my kids were out of the house. I said my protection prayer and lit my white candles. I had asked her how I would know if it worked. She told me I would "get cold chills all over my body."
Now, here's where I fully expect not to be believed and why I haven't submitted this story before. And that's okay. After I did everything I was instructed to do, and sent her to the light, instead of the "cold chills all over my body" that I was expecting, my mouth immediately grinned, totally involuntarily. I'm talking ear-to-ear Alice in Wonderland Cheshire Cat grin. I grinned so big it actually hurt LOL. And then this feeling of warmth came over me. It was like someone had taken a fleece blanket straight from the dryer, wrapped me in it, and hugged me tight. It was incredible, awesome and humbling. I sat there on my bed for several minutes just grinning, while I was being "held."
Of course, since the psychic told me I'd get cold chills, I really wondered if I had accomplished what I wanted to do. I went back and saw her and we discussed my experience. When I told her I wasn't sure I had done it, she asked me why I thought that. After I explained that I didn't get cold chills, she asked me if I felt anything and, if so, what. She sat there silently for a few minutes and then told me that not very many people ever get to feel that. She said it was rare for someone to get that feeling the first time they cross someone over; that most people get chills the first several times. She then told me that I have a gift and, if I choose to use it, I can help many spirits cross over. She also cautioned me that if I accepted this, I had to make sure it was really what I wanted because they will come. Sometimes many at a time.
Because my children were still young, and I'll be completely honest with y'all here, I was afraid I'd end up with a bad one, I decided I wasn't ready to do this. At least not right now. But let me tell you, this was one freaking incredible experience that I will treasure for the rest of my life.
As for Jerrica... If she remembers anything, she's still keeping it to herself. It's over 15 years later and she still doesn't say anything about it if there is a memory. I don't press her about it. I figure if she remembers and wants to talk about it, she'll do it in her time.