An unknown roomate, or an old friend? I've been trying to think of an answer to that question for a while now, at least two years since the death of my high school friend in December 23rd 2005. Since then, I've apparently adopted a new roommate in my families home, in my own room. I share a room by myself, or so I thought. The last time I saw my friend was the last day of school before the Christmas Holidays. I'll admit it, she wasn't popular, then again, neither was I. We had the same problems though with friends, that we talked about. We only had one class together, but I see here before classes start at the beginning when we're switching rooms, or on break. I never really spent time with her outside of school, wish I did.
On the 22nd she was in a car accident with her mom, they were on their way to a relatives house for a christmas party. Her dad stayed home, don't remember why, but I thank god sometimes he did. They weren't very nice to the girl that died. They made fun of her behind her back, at least two out of five of them did anyways. Three of us just thought they were being mean to her. After the holidays was the funeral. The two friends that weren't nice to her spoke. I couldn't believe what they were saying, so I said something different that was actually meaning something. Her family and friends appreciated all of us speaking. That Christmas, I wasn't even happy. My aunt was over, and wasn't sure what was wrong with me. My dogs were trying to make me laugh and same with my parents, my other aunt and Uncle came over for dinner, I love christmas dinners, however I didn't even eat, haven't for three days.
About a month later, my roommate happened to appear. When I was sad, I'd hear a voice saying "don't be sad." When we were back, my teacher asked where she was. Again, I heard a voice saying "Go on, tell her, it'll be okay." So, I did, the teacher left the room for a few minutes, even when we had a class. I had some odd looks from people "Why'd you have to tell her now?"
I got home that day and balled my eyes out with tears. I felt a hand on my back with the words "You'll be fine." 2 years today, I don't hear those words, but I do feel that I have a another roommate. It feels like the one in 2005, but I'm not so certain. Since I had her picture of her and her mom, and dad sitting here on a little ledge by my floor, the presence was there. It's kina nice knowing maybe she's around (or another one) but, for once I don't want her/him to wake me up at three am in the morning by having a shadowy figure sitting on my chair... Spinning around, like two nights ago.
It took me a year to move on from this accident. It's still buried in the back of my head, I still have all the news paper clippings from every paper about the crash, and her pictures from the paper. I've always wondered if my other friends have this roommate as well. Someone watching over us, my best friend drew a picture of her as our guardian angel. Maybe that's why she's here still?
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