Please forgive me if I can't explain this clear enough to understand as it is a subject in which I usually avoid talking about. I'm also sorry this isn't much of a story, but a bunch of explanations of strange events which I still have no answer to. I guess what I'm really hoping is that someone can just give me a little security and reassurance as to what these things are.
Since I was a younger child I could see these shadows, at first I would only catch glimpses or feel them there (if that makes any sense), but as I got older, I seemed to be able to catch better looks at them. I'm not really sure why this is, but I think it might have been more of the fact that I really didn't want to see them since I was afraid of them that kept me from fully seeing them.
Now I always thought that I was just seeing things from my imagination since I always heard this from the adults in my life and being so young it was easy to be influenced into thinking this. So really I went on with things as normal (or what I thought was normal) until I turned eleven years old and got my first and only dog which I had been begging my parents for my whole life.
The strange thing about this though is the fact that my parents absolutely never wanted such high maintenance animals.
I had done research on what dog to get. I finally presented my argument on why I should have a dog and showed them how I had the money for it which I had saved. They of course told me no and told me even if they had said yes I didn't have enough money to buy the type of dog anyway (which was a non-shedding type dog because my dad and sister are allergic to them).
A week later my mom found an ad in the newspaper for a Bichon frise for $240, the exact amount of money I had saved up (well okay, I had $250 but I spent ten because I was mad I couldn't get my dog). Not only that but it was the same breed of dog I had wanted, so the next day we went and picked him up (he was so cheep because he was a runt and none of the other breeders wanted him).
The reason I told you all of this is because I can't help but feel I was really a bit too lucky almost like I was supposed to have only my dog that I have because what I'm about to tell you is when I realized maybe the things I saw weren't my imagination. (sorry I feel like I'm blabbing a lot...)
Now my little dog is four years old and I have noticed he has a lot of quirks, ones that not only I have seen, but other people have noticed he has very much in common with me. For example people tell me I seem to always have like this weird far off look or like I'm always busy thinking about something (although this seems to be me either a.) being paranoid or b.) me seeing something that others can't), my mom always says our dog must be autistic because he never looks anyone in the eyes but me and is always looking off just as I do.
I honestly believe he can see the things I see and even things I cannot see.
For example, when it's only him and I especially at night (I know, it's a bit cliche sounding) he goes over to my dad's sink which has a cabinet below it in the bath room and barks at it, so I usually go up to him and ask what's wrong (you know in that cooing doggy voice people do) and he does these kind of grunting noises and backs up and goes forward with small steps. So one night I decided to give him a little push in the direction of the sink just to see what would happen and he began screaming and clawing at the rug almost like he was begging me not to bring him any closer. So after that him and
I pretty much avoid the sink now although occasionally he wanders back over there and barks at it again, but now in a more aggressive tone.
The other thing is my family has Japanese blood, so of course I know a thing or two about Shinto beliefs and mythology. I kind of looked up a few things here or there and made so called protection charms (omamori) hoping stuff like that would get rid of the feelings considering they have intensified and are currently the worst I've ever felt in my life to the point where I seem to actually be waking up every morning feeling sick, different parts of my body such as my arms legs go completely numb, and I get dizzy through out the day.
But the point I'm trying to make is there is this one particular hand motion which I kind of guess signifies many different things in Shinto mythology such as casting a spell, barrier, or some kind of protection barrier, that I could help but try out the movement because personally, I'm not going to lie, looked kind of cool and edo era to me. But upon doing it my dog went completely berserk jumping around barking growling to nothing but the air around me. The hand motion wasn't anything very out of the ordinary it was simply when you bring your hands back and then slap them together in a very solid movement almost like when you pray for good luck at the shrine during new years except with more emotion. The funny thing was no matter where I did it, how loud I did it or in what room or how far away my dog was he always went crazy and got in this sort of protective stance around me even if there seemed to be of no way of him knowing that I did it. (if you have more info on this I would please like to hear it!)
The thing I would really like to talk about though is definitely the feelings and the shadows I see.
My dog seems to obviously see them too, so much so it worries me because he actually chases after them, this being my only way of telling myself that I'm not just utterly out of my mind.
The shadows are all black in a shape mostly in the shape vaguely like a human, almost I guess like a more rounded starfish with a head. They have two eyes which are just like little white circles and they don't really do much other than give me an insane feeling of dread and make me feel a tiny bit nauseous. They seem to appear more in the summer and if I don't acknowledge them they don't seem to effect me as much. They mostly appear at night regardless of if I'm alone or not. The exception was one time when I saw one get in to a parked car, it just did the motion of opening the car door even though it wasn't moving anything and simply went through the car and sat (kinda like you know when a sim in The Sims glitches up... Sorry that's a really bad example), in a store parking lot in broad daylight. When I looked into the car it was empty. The only other thing that was different about this one was that is was very skinny, probably about six feet tall and and had no eyes or noticeable features other than arms, torso, legs, head, etc., compared to the blobbly starfish ones who were kind of stocky.
I'm sorry this is not really much of a story, but I hope I can get some feedback as to what to do or what I'm experiencing.
Thank you for reading.
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