There has been activity in my life for as long as I can remember but it's gotten horrible since I got pregnant with my daughter in 2010. I met her father through a friend and we dated for a little while, he was a Iraqi veteran with PTSD and decided friends would be best as he was still having some problems. Well about a month later I found out I was pregnant. (In 2005 I had a son, pretty much right after I had him I got pregnant again it was a tubal and the doctor told me it would be a less than 10% chance I would ever get pregnant again.) Well you can guess it he flipped out told me to abort it, it wasn't his and everything else in the book. I stood my ground and decided to keep her. It was an emotional roller coaster with him, one day he wanted to be involved next day he didn't. I just pushed it on the PTSD and dealt with it.
One night, we were getting along and he invited my son and I to stay the night. Everyone is sleeping and I'm wide awake so I hop on the computer and I'm playing a game when I hear something whisper for me to get out. I walk through and they are both still asleep so I sit back down and say no thanks I was invited. Then I feel something staring at me so I look around and don't see anything so I say, sorry but I'm here until tomorrow, you can go away now. Then the computer turns itself off. So I turn it back on just out of spite and go to bed.
I told him the next morning he just shrugs it off, blames it on our constant fighting and hormones and doesn't think much of it. November rolls around and I'm about 4 months along and my great uncle gets sick. My mom and I drop my son off with his dad for Thanksgiving break and on our way home I just feel something with me, like it attached itself at the hospital. He ends up passing away a few weeks later, her father sends me a message the day of the funeral when were on our way there. I decided to ride with my grandma, her boyfriend and my aunt. The rest of the family is following and whatever it was that attached Itself.
I find myself face to face with family I have not seen in years and everyone says I'm pregnant with a girl. Sure enough ultrasound a month later confirms. The fighting between he and I start getting worse. The spirit is getting stronger trying to relax me so I welcome it. In January his family reaches out to me and I visit them, as soon as I walk in the dog starts going nuts and for the rest of the visit he avoids me. I just ignore it.
Mardi Gras I take the 3 hour ride, alone, 7months pregnant to bring my son to his father. On the way home I get stuck in major traffic from everyone trying to get in the city. About half way home it hits me, I feel completely alone. My nerves go for a shock and I just start crying uncontrollably so the next exit I pull over and call her dad. He talk me home and I just pass out. The next day on the news I hear a tornado touched down about 5 miles from where my son was and it killed a woman protecting her child http://www.nbcnews.com/id/41922745/ns/weather/t/la-mom-dies-sheltering-child-tornado-felled-tree/ I think my spirit left me to protect the child.
I had my daughter in April of 2011, in June of 2011 was the last time I spoke to her father he does not pay child support nor does he try to see her. Since then the spirit has backed off but now I'm overly paranoid, I've spent maybe 5 nights away from her since she's been born. I find it almost physically impossible for me to sleep unless she's in the bed with me. I've pretty much lost the relationship with my son because of the constant worry over his sister. My boyfriend and I got together Oct-Nov of last year and things were fine. I got into a minor car accident in Jan and by Feb I had to quit. He got laid off in April and just found work but he travels now, the first time he left I started having nightmares. I don't remember them but I wake up tense and sweating and pissed off. Last night I actually threw myself out the bed, woke up and felt someone. Standing over me. Not letting Me up. All morning I've been trying to keep myself busy. I feel drained, and like she and I aren't alone...
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