As this is my first experience I am sharing on the website - or any in that case - and I plan on sharing all of them as my time allows, I would like to preface my story with a bit of background regarding my experiences. In the past 10 years, ever since I was about 15 years old, I have had some profound paranormal experiences. These paranormal happenings never happen one after another, but instead, I will witness something and then it will be a year or so before I have another encounter. The only exception to this is that when I first began experiencing things, it was much more frequent.
On that occasion where some being or entity would make itself known to me, I find I seem to go through the same emotional stages. (Also I might add, that every experience I have had has been while I am alone) First I begin to feel uneasy, like I'm being watched. Almost always this comes on suddenly, as a complete shift in my mood. One minute I can be completely peaceful and at ease, without the slightest thought in my head that would suggest feeling otherwise. Then quite quickly, as my uneasiness grows, every fiber in my body and soul knows, without a doubt, that I am not alone. Unseen there is someone, or something that is with me. At this point I am filled with dread, and the presence will make itself known. Usually my experience will not involve anything physical. I have never been touched, nor harmed in any way, but I will experience terror unlike anything they physical world has come close to making me feel. Most times this happens as I am settling into to go to sleep. In that instance what will happen is my whole body will lock up in fear, I will not move, I will not blink, I just stare... The feeling I receive in return from the entity is usually an amusement at my fear. I have normally experienced that as the intensity grows, I will usually faint or just fall asleep, I really don't know what happens. I wake up soon after and I can feel the presence is gone, and even though it is SO vivid and real when it happens for even a week after the incident. The reality of it all soon fades and I find myself doubting that it could have happened, but in my heart and mind if I think back on it, it all comes back so clearly and real, as real as any other memory, as real as remembering my wedding, or driving to work this morning...
But how can something that strange and intense fade so quickly? And how do I go through the exact same motions every time? I find myself wrestling with so much doubt about the possibility of it all that when I'm reading OTHER'S stories (trying to find clarity and someone that might understand and relate to my experiences) I find myself saying, "That's ridiculous, there's no way that that is real". But really, how can I say such a thing with what I've seen? I think that even though these things are purposefully exposing themselves to me, there is something spiritual that is put in place by them or who knows what (the universe?) that represses the experience afterwards without any conscious effort.
Anyways, I wanted to share one story that is not quite like the rest as I have just described. This happened a year or two after everything started happening with me. I was living with my parents at the time and was around 17 years old. Our house was in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, in an unincorporated part of town near the chain o' lakes. In this area there are plenty of foxes, coyote's, raccoon, and the like as we were surrounded by forest preserves in this neighborhood. In our neighborhood, there were two streets that ran parallel to each other which extended from the main highway, moving downhill and onward toward the lake. The two streets eventually came together at the bottom of the hill in a horseshoe shape which connected them. Our house was located at the bottom of this horseshoe.
On this particular night, my car had been parked up the hill a ways. It was late, around midnight or so, and it was my turn to take the garbage cans out to the road for pick up in the morning. I had been procrastinating doing it as I was big into World of Warcraft - a popular video game - at the time, and had been busy with that for most of my day. Everyone in the house was asleep at this time as it was a school night. I decided it was time to get my lazy butt off the computer and take care of the garbage, as well as move my car back into the driveway.
I stepped outside into a dark, Fall night, leafs covering the ground and the world dimly lit by nothing but the moons lunar glow. I grabbed onto a garbage can and began rolling it down our rather long driveway (about six car lengths long). As I approached the end of the driveway, I noticed something odd looking across the street and about ten yards to my left. What I thought I was seeing was a very large dog, much larger than normal. I could see no discerning features of this dog. I was observing it from a sideways profile of it and basically what I saw was that it was darker and blacker than anything surrounding it. I could see that it had a wolfish, or wild, look to it's fur. I could not see its eyes, nose or anything specific. But the oddest thing, was that it was next to my neighbor's mailbox, and it was as tall, if not taller than that mailbox. At this realization I froze in my steps. Now let me say that I have no irrational fear of dog's, or wild animals. I have been surrounded by large dogs my entire life and love them to death and know how to handle and approach dog's that I have never met. For some reason though, this particular dog had me scared for my life.
As I stood at the end of my driveway, and my fear and anxiety began to grow, the animal or apparition began to move, which quickly became the most disturbing part about the encounter. This dog moved unlike any living animal I've ever seen. It seemed to be moving in slow motion, not just walking slow, but lurking... It took notice of me and began its slow, methodical march, stalking just behind the mailboxes at the opposite side of the street. When it moved forward it seemed to almost be floating by, and it stared at me the entire time, though I couldn't see its face. As it phased past me and further to my right, I was filled with the thought that I had to get to my car which was about 50 feet up the street to my left, and I had to shine my lights on it. I would never, NEVER, think to run an animal over but the presence of this thing felt so threatening that in my mind I had already decided that I would sprint to my car and run it over if I could.
As the beast moved further to my right I took off in a sprint towards my car, my heart was beating out of my chest and my adrenaline was like jet fuel in my veins. I was to afraid to even look over my shoulder and see if this thing had decided to give chase to me. I jumped in my car and as I shined my headlights onto the street I saw just its tail sticking out from behind nothing but the metal post of a street sign, with no body on the other side. I put my car into drive and as I moved closer to the sign that the tail protruding from, the tail seemed to move forward past the sign and disappear into nothing. I circled the street and several times and drove through the neighborhood to try and locate it but I could not find it.
I had little sleep that night. I called my girlfriend scared out of my mind asking her to help me rationalize what just happened. She seemed disturbed by what I was telling her and asked me if I ever heard of the black dog omen. I had no idea what she was talking about and she said she thought it was supposed to be a messenger of death. This freaked me out and I was afraid for mine and my family and loved one's lives, and I kid you not that less than a week later my neighbor committed suicide and so did someone about five houses down from us that same week.
Sorry for the long story, I've never shared these before with anyone except for close friends and my wife (she was my girlfriend that I mentioned). I would appreciate anyone's comments to anything that I've mentioned in this post as I would love to find someone trustworthy to relate to and learn from others experiences. I will be posting more of my experiences whenever possible.
Loading comments....
While many of Tweed's speculations and Rook's researches echo my own trains of thought, I'd like to return to ms_st0308's first comment and build upon it, if I may.
Like Tweed, I separated the dog phenomenon from the other experiences. Ms_st0308's comment begins with, "You mentioned having this sudden and unexplained feeling of fear and terror. And although you don't experience anything physical such as touches or seeing something when you have these feelings, it sounds as if you just have this overwhelming sense that something or someone is there with you." My reaction was to ask you about past mental/psychological traumas. While you do have -as you noted in responses to later comments- an annual physical & psych eval, have you sought out a private therapist to discuss the "hauntings" from the standpoint of repressed anxieties/events? Now, I'm only suggesting a *conversation,* so you'd look for a psychologist, not a psychiatrist who'd be licensed to prescribe medication. Your reaction to the fear state suggests to me that you've had some PRACTICE in ACTIVELY repressing memories of a horrible nature. NO, (before anyone heads into "conspiracy theory" la-la land) I am not suggesting anything appalling, nightmarish, or abusive happened to you, but I'm suggesting that it may be how your brain dealt with an issue you were too young to handle. For example, I know that my last sight of my maternal grandmother was in the immediate aftermath of a car accident, so my brain has put a "block" on that memory (I think of it more as a colorful "patch"), and I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to remove that block. I know it is there and I am very happy with that fact; it allows me to remember a great many positive memories of Grandma without the panic or trauma which can accompany memories of the accident in which she died. Memory suppression is a survival technique, like putting together a "to do" list: it is only a temporary solution to getting the job done; it is ineffective if it becomes a permanent fixture on the refrigerator door. My initial suspicion was that the "normal" component of this paranormal experience is simply you; I've not read anything to contradict that, yet.
As for the dog, did you ever stop to wonder what the rest of the dog was doing while you could see its tail?
It was marking its territory as a defensive boundary/perimeter. It showed you respect by not backing down and by circling you, the way you'd "size up" a *potential* threat from a larger individual, even if you're not in any danger. I think that Tweed's instincts are spot-on.
Knowing you're protected may help reassure you when you start to think back to the initial encounter with your traumatic haunting. For this reason, I do recommend meeting two or three times with a therapist to see how it goes. If you don't want anyone at work to know, pay the bill without going through your insurance company (if anyone finds out, tell them it was a stressful time at home and you needed a little clarity to deal with it).
Take care,
-Biblio.