Memories And A Pad Of Paper

Hi,

I was young so to me then anyone with gray hair was very old, and he had grey hair. I was to see him again not long ago and he had grown to be much smaller.
The little man was about my Mother's family.
The voice, came from the land I think.

Jan

Could that man be the owner of the voice?

How old is he in your drawings? What was he doing when you saw him in the basement?

Your story was well-written. I enjoyed. Thank you.

Well said!
😁
I may have to quote you on that last sentence!
-Biblio.

Biblio,
You nailed it, you are good! The reason why I gave up working in the commercial art area, was that for a salary, I gave heart and soul to a design. A logo for a company or many companies. Following the growth of these companies, over years, my logo was used to help them grow in dollars, size, and popularity. While, I spent my earned dollars and it ended. I moved on...Then, there was the moral aspect, where my employment required a piece of art, from my mind, for a print on clothing. I have shown this artwork to my Grand Daughter in high-end stores, I had designed it (the print) in the early 90s and it is still sold world wide, much of what I created is. Simply said, not fair. Also the dog eat dog attitude. One day I walked and never looked back.
I then gained teaching skills, but never had such skill as you. As I said, I would like to sit in a back part of the room and listen. As you teach. That is your art form! I never enjoyed it like you do. Having said that, when you said you had had a hellish week, I remembered those first two weeks.
Now living the life of everything in moderation, I am quite happy. I have enjoyed this summer, writing of my events and past. I have liked the interaction, it seems to fill a need for me, that I didn't even know I had. I guess it does for others as well, perhaps you. The subject matter, interests us, we all want answers. Communication=art!
Art is all around, behind and in front. From the moment you wake up tomorrow, look around up down all around, listen, it is all art... Great art, has never been framed.

Jan, I've been having a hellish busy week; I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. Not only am I difficult to ignore once I've gotten started in class, but also I need students to interact with me as I explain. I can't just deliver a monologue, I encourage students to disagree with my ideas so long as they have good reasons for doing so. A large portion of each week is student-centered activities: I give a 5-10 minute explanation, give each group a different task or let them select an option from the board, and I get to drop by each group 2 or 3 times until it's time for them to present their findings, to have a debate, etc. Don't worry about my having distracted students; I'm both popular and feared;)

I did want to clarify something, but Tweed beat me to it! Much of what I would have discussed is in her observations and your response. I can't imagine feeling devastated by completing an artistic task successfully, then regretting it. I suppose if I had a moral issue with the company or product I'd been commissioned to advertise, being successful would be a conflicted accomplishment: "I can pay the bills this month, but only by persuading the public to believe Brand X's lies about the 'New & Improved' Widget, when all they did was repaint it." Being financially secure (hell, solvent) and being an artist are very rarely compatible goals.

I was recommending that you try reaching out to your old artistic instincts, even if you have to bite down on pencils to hold them steady in your mouth because of the pain in your hands. I thought that you may be able to resolve some of your mental tension by feeling good about an artistic endeavor which you undertook for its own sake. It wouldn't solve any physical issues, of course, but proving to yourself that you can create -and be pleased with what you create- with no other goal in mind may bring some catharsis.

This was all based upon my having read the sentence which I quoted directly from your response to someone else. If I took it out of context, misconstrued your intention, dredged up painful memories, or caused you upset, I do apologize. I don't make a habit of harassing people in pain (on purpose, anyway).

If art would make you unhappy, don't do it! However, please think about it before dismissing it out of hand.
Best,
-Biblio

Tweed, I have trouble sleeping, and rose at dawn this morning, while the day will bring the 90's the sun rising seen from our deck this morning was a genuine gift, a work of nature's art. I so appreciated it.
Oh no not you too. I love art, the power driven need to put the man's vision to paper or cave wall. Realism, loved most, has been set aside for me, but in no way have I lost the love for others ability, Yesteryear or today. What peaks my interests, the way, one brain sees one way and another one sees so very different.
My first year teaching, I placed all different tools, water, oil, chalk, pencil, clay and so on, on a central table and just under a sun filled window. A bowl of oranges and apples and a couple bananas grapes and one rose, deep red. The bowl was bohemian cut glass red.
My class was the last period, many lingered that day as I quietly clean up. Peace and busy brains. There was a night and day variety of the simple still.
If this was today, I would have run about taking pictures, yet there remains pictured forms in my head, not forgotten.
I remember one boy had done his with pencil, but had placed faces, and action on his paper, far better than color. That man today works for The Walt Disney Studios.
My art ability had left me before that day, my fingers were tired, having worked in the art field, making a logo that my mind created, and seeing it on a billboard, blackened my heart.
For this and for so many other reasons my art has gone to rest, but my appreciation has not. Jan

Jan, I'm really glad Biblio went all detention mode on you because it was more or less what I wanted to do but, because of my age, assumed I would not be taken seriously.
Well, I'd like to point out that emotional well being is linked to physical well being. As Biblio said you can invite art into your life in endless ways.
When I have the time I go through all the comments I've missed, scanning for any stories I'm interested in to catch up on the progress of a situation. I just saw your comment relating to boulders on Hecate's story and I've got to say this smacks of someone inviting artistic flare into their life. 😉 Becoming attuned to nature forces and all that. I believe you never actually lost your passion, you may have tried to stifle it to limit pain, but it never went away. I believe passion never ever goes away, no matter what. You're still *that girl* always will be. 😊

Biblio,
I could be very wrong, as I am so much old school. The room as you describe is entertaining, but as I know the concentration level of the average freshman, make sure their eyes and ears are on YOU, as you talk.
I had been into a soft period when teaching, we were limited in what we could do in decoration, by administration.
The art room was very busy on the other hand, the greatest challenge, to be picked to hang work in the busy halls, picked by an independent group. Oh, that was a great part period in my life.
Jan

Biblio,
Oh my, oh dear, I think I have been put to the back of the room and made to face a blank wall... Dunce hat on... You burst my bubble, I was half into meditation when I saw my name on the left of the screen.

Biblio,
I would love to be one of your students, and yet it would be hard to concentrate in a room as busy as yours. I have not taught for almost twenty years now, having to leave because of illness, a choice I made, not for me, but in fairness to my students. I closed that door and opened other doors.
I made an error in saying that art was meaningless, the word (MY) missing. You have to know how hard it is to have no ability to write a hand written letter, or even to sign a formal agreement causes pain in my hand. Now as some know, the ability to even stand or walk is unbelievably painful. Enough said.

You asked whom might have written my home town's first history, I can not tell you as it would give away my maiden (sir-name) and the name of the town, It is large, over 850 pages long and very dull to most. A Great Great Uncle of mine, with the assistance of prewritten material, records and much research, wrote our first town history (1910), then died in 1912. There was an addition written in 1965 and another that has just gone to print this year. I was asked to write one small chapter, and I willingly did, detailing my family's impact on the town, as at one time a large part of the population either related to or carried my maiden name. I have to say, you are trying very hard to find my town, and I appreciate your interest, should you figure it out, please keep it to yourself, as I do deserve privacy. If you put his name in google search the town comes up. He was a professor in Amherst.

Your love for art is profound, I too share that interest, but daily have lingering frustrations, sadly it remains in my past. You are not yet old enough to be in wind down, your brain is on fire, Biblio, so wonderful to read, I picture your fingers flying. I was once much like you.
Jan

Hi, Jan.

Your town history was written in 1910? Was it written by the Rev. Josiah Howard Temple of Framingham, MA? He wrote multiple town histories in Massachusetts, usually after the collection of principal data had been performed by the town's elected officials or religious leaders. I can't locate a birth and/or death date for Temple in a cursory search, so I'm not sure that he'd have been alive in 1910. He was a scrupulously detailed writer; I remember that I used one Town Library's copy of Temple for a historical research project, then I was lent a privately-owned copy by a teacher in that town.

Jan, you have endured much, and you have suffered much. I have no doubt that your pain will continue. You deserve all of the outpouring of sympathies expressed by fellow YGS posters, and more. (Bear with me, here.)

I am, as I have mentioned in the past, a British-Born high school English teacher. My classroom walls are filled with images of art ranging from the cave paintings in Lascaux, France, to Caravaggio, Gentileschi, Rembrandt, Thomas Cole, Piet Mondrian, Van Gogh, Andrew Wyeth, and Norman Rockwell. The windows are filled with Cacti, Vines, Succulents, and Philodendra (including a Monstera Deliciosa that occupies 2 large plant pots, has sneaked aerial roots into several of the aloes, and tries to entrap unwary 9th graders like one of Wyndham's Triffids). I often play music in class to set the mood, paring Beethoven with Caspar David Friedrich, Johan Sebastian Bach with Canaletto, etc., because if my students can't grasp the concepts underlying the era, they'll never understand the significance of the literature.

You worked as an artist, then a teacher. I'm shocked that you can make a statement like "Over these years, art has become meaningless." Art is that which endures. It's all we have left of some cultures, it's the fiction, the paintings, the architecture, the rituals, the symbols, and the sculptures which remain and which capture the imaginations of succeeding generations. Who but classics majors or historians reads nonfiction created by prior generations? I've had 17-year-olds voluntarily tackle 'Lysistrata,' 'The Cherry Orchard,''Don Quixote,''The Duchess of Malfi,''Cyrano de Bergerac,' and 'Barchester Towers' for independent reading projects. They're works of literature, certainly, but the artistry -even in translation- endures. Do NOT sink into self-pity, Jan, for goodness' sake! Art is not in your hands, it is in your brain. I send christmas cards painted by paraplegic and quadriplegic artists! The will to create beauty is not locked away from you because of your physical trauma; it's being blocked by your physical trauma and preventing you from healing your mind to its full potential. Yes, I am being somewhat harsh, here; if this is causing you emotional pain, I do apologize for it. However, once you have a gift, it does not evaporate due to circumstances; it may get rusty, it may need to be exercised before it meets your own standards, but it can be reclaimed through effort and determination. Envision one masterpiece you'd like future generations to see; work toward that goal. Even if you take years to improve working with your other hand, and you only ever complete one piece, Make Damn Sure that your work, your art, endures.

Sending you much love and harsh kindness (the only kindness I've ever been any good at; sorry).
-Biblio.

😊 its always good to know that a family member has a good guide home.

Silentwings,
He was there for my Mother, I never saw him again, after my Mother's death. I am sure, he had known long before anyone else, he was to take my Mother to her intended spot. Don't ask how, there are some things I will never touch upon, either my Mom's or Dad's events, in YGS or anywhere else. But that man was there for my Mom.
Jan

Ms.forgetmenot, I can highly relate to that, and you could be right. Maybe he was making sure someone was there for you even when your mother passed maybe it was for her. But a spirit usually knows when it is time to move on.

Thank you for your post Silentwings,
I still remember him all these years later. What troubled me is that no one believed me, just babble from a kid. My mother died late that January. I believe he was just there waiting, someone close to her... We will never know.
Jan

This is an amazing, touching story. The fact that he would carry you down the stairs is justimd blowing, he must have really cared for you. 😊 I'm going to favorite this one.

Thank you Hecate, so grand to talk! There are very special people on YGS and you remain on the top of my list.
Jan

Jan,

FINALLY, I sent you an e-mail. If not in your inbox, check your spam.

Hecate ❤

Hecate,
I will wait... Take care and get your life into the comfort zone. Rest...breath...This happens when you are busy helping everyone else, before yourself. Remember, you matter too!
So strange, I had a feeling...

Jan, Tweed did forward your contact information. I plan to write to you, probably after tomorrow. My life is intense right now - beginning of semester, wonderful but unexpected family in town, son not well AND I turned my ankle on Saturday evening. I have spent every spare minute doing healing on it, as I spend the majority of my time on my feet when teaching. Sooo, I apologize for the delay in my response. 😊

Talk more soon.

Hecate ❤

Hi Sheetal,
I am not a writer or a speaker. I am a 67 year old woman that really wants to put to paper, some events I have had in my life. Thank you for the complement though. When this type of things happen, it becomes easy to pull out the details and type them out. What I am finding pleasurable is that others on this site, have also had events, it is fun to share.
Thanks,
Jan

msforgetmenott... I've to learn many things from your writing style (As I am writer) ... Amazing ending 😁 😁... This is what I want to say... Thanks for sharing:)

Regard and respect,
Sheetal

Thank you so much Tweed, I am very grateful that there are good people in this world. You are one of them.
Jan

Just a quick note letting you know I've forwarded on your email and details to Hecate as requested. 😊
Hoorah for bridges!

Hi Hecate, Thank you for your kindness, please note that Tweed may have information to make a connection possible.
I too have loved bringing home rocks from every State or country I have visited, yes they bring comfort in some ways. I have always loved white rocks, they are scattered about our land. I think bit by bit, they will all come to my home more than 60 miles away, if I live long enough. It gets harder to enjoy life when the pain is too much. My husband wants me happy. Soo...
My sweetie now has a tractor with lifting abilities, so the rocks are getting bigger! He takes out of the fields, to save his cutter from damage, and if white he brings it back. Now he has figured how to bring home. What a guy!
Quartz or Crystal I am not sure. There is yellow in areas that does seem to be a gem type also, red (garnets?) is rare... But blemishes of other rock formations too. He has made birdbaths out of fieldstone and donates to various, but broke his equipment when he tried to cut the quartz. Hopefully talk later,
Jan

Hi Msforgetmenott. I loved your story. I am originally from New Hampshire, so I know the magical stones left by the glaciers. I completely share your obsession. I collect smaller ones, though. 😊 My study has four 7 foot tall book cases with glass doors. In front of all the books, the shelves are filled with all kinds of rocks. I can feel their energy with my hands, different types of rocks having different frequencies.

I use clear quartz, rose quartz and amethyst when doing energy healing. There are many different schools of energy healing, Reiki being one of the more commonly known. Mine is similar, using energy, color and temperature, oh, and sometimes a little energy pressure. And as Tweed mentioned, I can do this from a distance. I have been doing this for about 20 years. Lupus, and autoimmune things I cannot heal. But I can help with pain and inflammation, though. I also raise your energy level which helps reduce cancer risk. If you are interested, perhaps we should have an e-mail chat.

Sending you positives! ❤

Hecate

Hi valkricry,
My parents had plans to finish the attic, making two bedrooms and a bath. This never happened due to my Mother's illness.
For my birthday one year I received an oil paint set, and was allowed to decorate all the rough wood that would later be covered with wallboard. I went through 4 oil sets. They knew where I was at all times.
The brown bags were reused and not for drawing, unless used as Christmas wrap. We were poor as church mice, as farmers usually are.
The people that bought that home opened walls and put in sky lights. Finished over all paintings with wall board and sleep on the second floor, an open loft... It doesn't look like the same property.
Jan

Jan,
I bet a large part of your art was done on brown paper grocery bags as well? My Mom use to open them up for us kids to draw on. Sometimes she'd instruct me to just draw outline pictures so my younger siblings could color them. Your talent must have been very strong for everyone to be able to recognize the faces. 😊 Sad that you lost that pad though.
I'm sorry you are having such physical difficulties, and I echo Tweed's thought that Hecate might be able to help. Oh! If you email Rook be sure to put you're from YGS in the subject line so it gets flagged out as not spam to him. Generally you only need to do that on your first email.
*sigh* love that Mr. Goldtooth use to carry you...

Hi Lady-glow,
Yes, he was very loving and always smiling. I have seen pictures of both Grandfathers, gone before my birth. Not one of them, so perhaps the generation before, on my Mother's side.
He wasn't there after my Mother's death, I looked for him and missed him. He had come for her I think.
Jan

Msforgetmenott: thanks for another beautiful story... Mr Gold Tooth sounds to me like a loving grandpa.

I'm sorry for your health problems...you'll be in my prayers.

You're very welcome! I have much to say about these beautiful rocks. But have to get off the internet now, until next time!
By the way your sweetie sounds like a total sweetie. 😳