Light Is Back, Possibly

Tweed-
Ladydarke-

Wasting no time, I was seeking real help here from the start. It was just a bad decision to mention that assumption cause I was more childlike at the time, I'll admit that I should go to the hospital. But I have no insurance, and the people I blamed for it felt bad for everything... And brought home chocolate for me to have...

That and I needed to sleep off my rage, the problem is, that's not what I'm thinking. In the process of writing it I knew I was going to feel like a jerk in the end and I was calling myself an idiot for not waiting, but of course. I said things I shouldn't have said, and chose not to wait. My rage self is like a lion in a cage, I should have just left the phone alone.

I'm never doing that again, and they can never know. It'll crush them, and I would rather avoid hurting my loved ones. The only people who know are everyone here in these comments, and my boyfriend. He knows, he told me to talk to him whether I'm collapsing or not. All I need are distractions, it's just before that, my privileges were taken away, I couldn't talk to anyone, I could only cry.

And these spirits, I can't get them to go cause their too positive, nothing they do bothers me at all. I even told them goodbye, but still I feel them. This felt like a big thing so I told my boyfriend what was going on with these spirits and I expected him to be upset, or at least sad. But no, he's okay with it because they can't get me pregnant. That and I mentioned that I can't love anyone if I don't know them, sigh. The guilt is gone but I seriously feel like a jerk. I wrote a sincere apology letter to manafon, then a more detailed explanation when I was able to reply back. Thanks for trying to help everyone. I'm going to look into figuring out some insurance, and see what I can do from there. Joey told me to ignore what gets me depressed, and since then it's been working. If anything, I'm waiting, and will ignore any further bs before I have the chance to move in with him. I'm going to survive for him, and the rest of my loved ones. Everything you all said helps as far as health issues go, I just... I don't like to hurt anybody, I'm hurting myself the most if it's someone attached to my heart. But I will look for other ways to deal with it, I just want to figure it out without hurting them. Everyone could've lost me, and I truly regret it. 😢

Thank-you everyone. 😊

Respectfully

Ahoy Kya,

Here're my two cents before I sit on the fence: you sound like you're addicted to the feeling these spirits give you. If you are, you have to acknowledge that you're addicted to them and that you want that to change. You sound like a girl who wants to turn her life around, and I applaud you for that. You've taken your first step, and now you have to take a few more - some more painful than others.

Go with God,
Mazz

Hey, Kya!

I got your email asking me to drop by this thread. It's always nice to hear from you. >^.^<

For what my opinion is worth, I'm inclined to think a clean and total break with your spirits would be easiest and best all involved - for them, you, and your boyfriend. Goodbyes are always hard, and I think it's pretty clear you are a highly feeling, emotive person which will make it traumatic for you. I sympathize, but I think it needs to be done.

If I may say so, from reading this thread I get the impression you've been on an emotional roller coaster for several months leading up to a black Valentine's Day. Kudos to you for doing whatever you needed to do to survive it. I'm glad you're still here and that shows incredible strength.

I also need to say that depression is a serious thing. It destroys lives and it takes lives. Something needs to change, Kya, or the next time you might not make it through the blackest of nights. Please, please, seek help. Seek qualified help. You say your boyfriend will sit up with you from love, and that is wonderful of him. But it's a terrible burden for a loved one to know they are the one thin line between you and your demons. Please, get someone to help him help you. If you can't get help for your own sake, then do it for Joey, so he doesn't have to fight the dark alone. Please remember that however much Joey loves you and wants to stand with you, he has no weapons. Give him those weapons in the form of knowledge of the disease, and in the form of allies - professional allies, a therapist or counselor, who can help him as well as you understand how to move forward and overcome. Perhaps he and you together can get online and find some resources.

This is a website that lists hotlines for depression. Most resources are listed by state, so you can find a lot more based on your actual location. But here's a place to start: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=urgent_crisis_hotline

From the things you've disclosed about your history, there is every reason for you to be depressed. Please take a minute and realize that *no one* can come out of that without being psychologically scarred. The sooner you can get those scars addressed, the better for you, and the better for Joey, because you have to be healthy inside to be able to have a healthy relationship. I also want to point out that depression is not always caused by life events. Sometimes it can be chemical and there's nothing you can do on your own; you need medical intervention to regulate your brain chemistry. Depression is nothing to be ashamed about. It is a disease, like any other, and it can be treated. Please don't hide it, and don't hide in the dark dealing with it on your own.

As for getting rid of the spirits... Intention is key. In my experience, any spell you cast, any magic words, any ritual, are just a focus point for that focused act of will, much like a magnifying glass focuses the heat of the sun. You and your intent are the sun. If I were you, I would start with visualization exercises. Address your spirits, in any words that feel right to you. Tell them goodbye. Make it clear that it's the end of an era and they cannot ever come back. Ask for their own guides and guardians to come and gather them up, take them away to their own places of highest growth and healing.

While you are doing this, visualize your whole environment, both spiritual and physical and including both you and your home, being cleansed using whatever imagery appeals to you. It could be a nuke of white light going off and searing away anything negative. I myself visualize something like the baryon sweep from Star Trek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwZrgR5Jo80

When you are finished, visualize positive energy throughout your environment and a shield around it which allows in only those energies or entities you have permitted. Again, any imagery that suits you will work fine. It could be a bubble, a rune underneath you that radiates the shield up, a wall of thorns, anything that embodies your intent. Please repeat this as often as you find necessary. If you are picking up on spiritual energy of any kind, cleanse and shield. If you pick up on any form of renewed communication from these two spirits, ask their guides to come carry them away, then cleanse and shield. It would be a good idea to cleanse and shield daily for a while after this any way.

Lastly, energy ties form between parties in a relationship through which energy passes - usually both ways, but in uneven relationships one will be doing all the giving and the other the taking. They're always there even between friends. Small filaments cling even between casual associates. When people say, "We're bonded," or "We have a bond," this is what they unconsciously mean. Visualize these conduits between yourself and the spirits - threads, chains, straws, pipes, whatever imagery suits you. Then sever them. Repeat this exercise whenever you find yourself thinking about them, and do it until you have stopped thinking about them.

Also, keep busy. Try to be so busy that you don't have time to think about them. Find a new hobby to occupy your time that gives you pleasure: perhaps painting, or learn to knit, or otherwise create something. Also take up a sport or, if you don't like team sports, then choose an activity such as hiking or swimming or skating: being physically tired will help keep your mind from wandering as well. Try to spend time outside, in nature and beautiful places, just reveling in the beauty of life, of the physical world.

Beautiful wishes to you, Kya. I want for you the best of all things. You've never had an easy path, but by gosh has it made you strong.

A song for you -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ_tOujeTe4

Kya, I seem to be remembering you had some trouble signing up to an email account a while back. I remember a step by step instruction process posted, so you could email Rook off site. I guess I'm having trouble with your use of the term 'print screen', it feels at odds with the email help you needed.

I use this as an example of your requests for help in this paranormal matter. It feels at odds with what you say. You want them gone, but you'll be sad if they go.

I really hope you don't take this as a personal attack, it's more an observation of inconsistencies, which usually track back to a bigger truth. Perhaps instead of treating your situation as a paranormal matter, start treating it as a thought process. As in think about what you want and prioritise accordingly. Because if you carry this crap into adulthood you won't form close bonds with anyone.

Also I know you said that you're receiving help from Rook privately, and that's cool. But this has been going on for a long time now. I'm posting this more as Rook's friend than anything else, he's a good guy and very patient with people, please don't waste his time.

Miracles-
Hmmmm, I just assumed there would be certain words to it. I didn't know that was all. Its just, I don't really know what to say, will they go even if I'm nice about it?

Sigh don't answer, I feel like I'm bugging. I'll see what'll happen I suppose.

I'm coming to my senses, thanks for your opinion miracles.

Kya - have you tried telling them to go away? I cannot give you any instructions on how to make them go away but that's the first thing I would do.

Miracles-
Are there any instructions I can follow to make them go today?

I want to do what's best for me and them, even if it'll feel part of me has been amputated.

Miracles-
Yes, if they are loved, or bonded by me in some way I will cry...

Just speaking in honesty miracles, every relationship I make, has meaning to me. To be soothed of any further pain and sadness is always easy when in person.

I understand that as well as they do, I may cry over what I felt was special. But believe me, if your expecting me to cry here about it when it's over, it's not what I'm planning.

Kya - you'll cry if they go permanently? Fine, cry. But don't be ridiculous about it. They need to go. For your sake as much as theirs.

Lynx-
I'll cry if they go permanently. I'll pray for them, I'm leaning more in the direction of being barricaded from their... Presence, their feel I guess. I just don't know how that kind of thing works.

I've had a bad time on and off, dealing with people spitting insults and names in my ear. And no, I don't mean anyone from here, sometimes I'm called names a thousand times too many. That happened way way too much on Valentine's day, to the point I tried to overdose. It was the one time I blocked out everything I loved due to the hollow depths of depression. I threw up for three days, and called it the stomach flu.
They were too scared, and held me tight after I was better. If I don't let them go yet, it's cause I want something to hold on to for the meantime until I can live with my boyfriend. Talking, and being held is usually what helps in that matter. But it also feels selfish, I feel like I'm using them. This would be so much easier if my boyfriend lived with us. I'm too good of a person to be doing this, but I'll try to let them go. Joey will have an all night love chat if he has to, so without these two boys, there's that option when I have a depressing outburst again. I'll see if I can figure something out.

Kya1994, sorry didn't see your messages afternoon rush hour...
Well, I guess you can at least say a prayer of your choice for them, as my grandmother will say 'Do as you want as long as you feel that is helping'.

To add up, you might need to let them go instead, according to what I have in hand now, detaching spirits relies on one's will. Sometimes the problem is that the "victim" could not let the spirit go, as you have been saying, you might be addicted to them instead. Will that help?

E.Lynx

Lynx-
Oops, do out of spite. I meant to say "say out of spite." The worst I can do is fight with words, but spiteful actions is what I lean away from.

Lynx-
Look I'm the same in this case, I don't have my email displayed in my profile in case people print screen to my friends and family about things they don't need to hear. I can be trusting, and if we argue it's between us, nothing I do will spread to loved ones or friends. I'd say that I wouldn't do anything in spite, but I'm too honest to say that now considering how blunt I was yesterday. Anyhow, I understand, I'll figure out other ways to get help to. For now I just want to talk it out.

Lynx-
What will help, is if anyone has any ideas about detaching these spirits from me...
Thank-you for being polite about it, but I don't need a hospital. I know I'm fine. Even if it's just words you have in mind for me to say to them, it would be helpful, cause I don't know what else to do. I don't want to be mean to them in order to detach. They been too kind.

Kya1994, I would have gave you my e-mail address if it was earlier days before when I first started, but no, sorry, something happened and that made me think to be safer not to give my e-mail address to anyone.

I mean I am interested but if it is not a public talk I am afraid I cannot help personally, do try to comment more and read more other stories that might be helpful for you, that really helps a lot.

Love from São Paulo
E.Lynx

Miracles-
Okay... I just got done with the last message. Just never mind what I brought here, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I was feeling perfect and fine when I was reading on here today. Then daily bs screwed with my feelings, and from there too much kept on contributing... Anyway. No more trouble, just delete those comments. If people have questions about my stories they'll be discussed privately from now on, it'll help you from dealing with anymore trouble.

Respectfully

Miracles-
Delete both of those comments please...

I commented here for advice, to fix my current situation. Not to be told to go to the hospital, I don't have insurance. I don't care about those ridiculous assumptions I made last year... In fact I want to pretend I never thought that way. I'm getting help from rook, privately. I shouldn't have brought the details here to begin with.

Last time

Kya - we are unable to edit comments. All we can do is delete them if the situation calls for it.

Miracles-
I wanted to try to not continue... But my tongue tends to slip. 😢

I sent in the last comment something about the ghosts... Delete that part only. I mostly wanted to make a point about the rest. I don't intend to have any further discussion with manafon cause I've had enough of that kind of negativity. So don't worry about me continuing the subject... I'm finished with any comments here altogether... Mostly because of manafon. Sorry about the comments, and thanks for listening.

Respectfully

manafon-

Feelings are officially hurt to the extreme...

I'm not going to be blunt to anyone anymore even though they make me feel less than them... But I don't sleep walk... I don't have schizophrenia... I have a perfectly healthy immune system that doesn't require seeing the doctors so often like my disabled father and brother. If it were just sleep walking, and straight up illusions I'd be in a psych hospital right now... I wouldn't even be here or have these stories published in that case...

I'm always in the middle of cuddling with them with absolutely no privacy... And even though people are everywhere, everyday, I have to pretend nothing is happening, even if I'm not laying down... Even if I look my family in the eye when I'm spending time with these spirits...

Believe me I feel like a freaking idiot for even assuming I got pregnant last year by a ghost... That was then, this is now... Please get off your high horse and quit implying I have mental issues... The only thing I care about is ending what I'm doing with them, so I can handle being around my second love without feeling ashamed of myself...

Miracles-
Don't know how bad this is... But this is really bad timing to be told that all of its a dream, or illusions, or whatever they can think of. My eyes are swollen due to having a bad day, I had just felt better, and now I'm back in my miserable place. I know your having a hard time with the rating of my comments... But I'm not letting people get away with implying I'm insane unless I can tell their trying to be respectful about it. Delete the part about the ghosts if you have to... But, I'm not just going to let manafon imply that I'm insane... Good day miracles.

I'm just not going to allow anyone's comments, or my comments in my stories anymore... From now on. Hopefully you understand, I'm not even angry... I'm just sad, from that one comment.

Respectfully

Kya - it had nothing to do with your grammar. It's the possibility that the comments on this story will head in a sexual direction, which we do not want. I think you know that.

lynx-
I'm not saying that's possible in the slightest, not offended my friend.

I'd love to explain why I believe in what I said in this story, but I don't know if teen rated comments require the consequences of getting banned. If you have an email address I can send to, I'll give you my full opinion about it if your interested in hearing more.

Respectfully

Miracles-
It is what it is... My apologies.

I'm having a bad day... If it's something I can't fix, then edit it to your liking. I'm still working on my grammar...😢

Miracles--I did as you suggested and read Kya's other stories. It did indeed help. At least I think so.

Just some advice for anyone reading this. Please read Kya's other stories. It might help.

Kya1994--Just a real quick FYI, you can't become pregnant by a ghost. Roylynx had a good suggestion--you might want to consult a psychologist to find out if you have any, as yet undiagnosed, issues that you should take care of.

Take control of yourself by consulting a professional before convincing yourself that ghosts are vying for your amorous attention.

Kya1994; Re-reading this story kind of makes me think that I need to do a research on "romantic" spirits.

Reading on the comment below, starting a relationship with spirits are as hard as letting them go. I mean... It either the spirit wanted to following you because they are attracted to something you have (feelings, thoughts, objects). I know it's completely different but it's like experiencing the Ouija board, let me explain it in a simple way.

First, the spirit will want to find a way to make its existence by showing itself, moving objects, etc. For some reason (when it wants to move on to the other world, etc.). Then here comes a victim (or the person whom encounter the spirit), this person will encounter eerie things caused by the spirit. The spirit was just trying to ask for help just like a baby with no ability to talk. The Victim finds that there is a spirit around and tries to talk with the spirit. Somehow the victim's action caused the spirit to know that someone knows its existence, the victim would be followed by the spirit since its wants the victim to help.

From this we can tell that the "victim" is just an amateur person whom can really not help the spirit very much, what the victim could have done is ignore, do not feel sorry for the spirit unless you really want to help it.

According to some reports my friend made, such behavior (like have a relationship with the ghost) might be done by the spirit itself. Yes, people get controlled by spirits in many ways, not just changes of personality. They will feel that someone is following them, might feel that... They are being loved by unknows, some people even feels that some alien had done surgeries to them, like having marks and mysterious wounds.

In a more scientific way to explain all this is that you might have some really strong imaged dreams, sometime even sleep walking. Either of these, you might want to do a body check or a mental health check as well just in case, you know anything really could happen, so I am not concluding this story in a true or false way, you might need to help yourself instead.

Hope that gave you some ideas on what to do. Cheers!
E.Lynx

Kya - please try to keep your comments as PG-13 as possible. Thank you.

Blackdaimond-
I posted this under pressure thinking I got pregnant by a ghost. Shortly after posting, I found out there were two of them. I don't these details being out in the open anymore... There are some mistakes I need to fix... 😢

My boyfriend knows that ghosts are a real thing, and I haven't told him about this yet. I continued staying romantically involved with them even after I got together with Joey due to blowing off steam... And generally, getting my hormones triggered.

I don't come to love just anybody unless I come to know them first. So since the beginning, these boys became my sex toys. 😢 I feel ashamed of myself. And these ghosts are still harmless... They've been protective for me, and theyed hug me if I was having a hard time. A lot of this is the sad truth, but I need further advice to keep me from hurting all three of them. The damage hasn't been done too badly, cause Joey and I had just gotten together. But I know it needs to stop, if there's a way to lock the bed, and keep them from continuing these relations ID appreciate it. Cause the relationships I make with everyone has meaning to me, I can't let them go if their willing to care enough to protect me of my family. I just want sexual relations to end with them, and continue my love life with Joey. Thanks for reading.:) I hope I can get the help I need.

Respectfully, Kya 😢

Wow that is an amazing experience. Whoever he is this spirit of your bed seems harmless and as long as he isn't upsetting you let him be. I live with about 5-7 spirits as a couple come and go. I enjoy having them around as I feel safe and comfortable with them.
I say as long as he dosent bother you and you feel ok wih him around you have nothing to worry about. See your self as lucky.
Cheers from the UK and a new member,
Samantha aka BlackDiamondRattlesnake!