Strong Shadow Entity-what Is It?

*I apologize for my descriptions in advance, they are slightly confusing but I tried! It was very hard to capture what happened and put it into words.*

BACKGROUND

This event took place in Marion, Indiana. The year was around 2012-2013. I was in high school at the time. Living in the house at the time were my mother, her boyfriend, my brother, and two of my cousins (one male, one female). It was a very turbulent time in my life and I had a large amount of things going on not only mentally but emotionally as well. There had been a lot of negativity in that house around that time specifically between everyone for multiple reasons so I'm sure everyone was emitting bad juju everywhere. In all the chaos, I had to find a place to detach. My safe haven was my bedroom. I could close and lock the door and not have to worry about seeing or talking to anyone. It was an attempt to isolate myself as much as possible from all of the drama. However this was the place I also let my negative emotions run free because I had to release and/or process them somewhere. I shared this room with my female cousin. At night, she would stay up late and usually did not come to bed until 2 or 3 am in the morning. Most of the time I would have no choice but to wait until she came just so that I could go to sleep. It was the only way I could avoid experiencing sleep paralysis or the "scary stuff" when it began to happen.

WEIRD HAPPENINGS

There had been several occurrences before this specific event occurred. They were not only experienced by me but by some of my family members as well.

Some of the "happenings" include hearing footsteps that stop in front of my door and never move away, continuously feeling a presence tap me and them attempt to lean into me (which felt heavy), hearing my name being called very clearly and multiple times, seeing glimpses of shadow people, hearing someone come in through the door only to find out later no one else was home, hallucinating spiders, and getting my hair pulled once in the shower.

I also do dream work and I had some dreams that felt like they had been hijacked because the mood/atmosphere would change without my doing. I felt that it was outwardly influenced. In the end, I would always feel a "presence" laughing at me or trying to get really close to my face and breathing on me. This presence felt and sounded like my male cousin some of the time. He was involved in the occult and practiced black magic (more later).

THE EVENT

At the time I had been heavily researching the paranormal and supernatural (as well as watching the show which couldn't have been helpful). I was also attempting to practice my psychic abilities. They were already present, I was just attempting to make them stronger and be more in control of that energy. I had astral projected accidentally more times than I could count (during my dreams only) but always to other dimensions (I guess you could say), not places within my own home or the real world. I was experiencing almost nightly sleep paralysis as well.

This night I laid down in the dark with my door open. I was afraid of the dark but I knew I had to get past my fear eventually. Even with the door open my comfort level did not rise. I started to go to sleep but I was still awake just lying there with my eyes closed. All of a sudden, I was...stuck? I wasn't scared or anything, actually I felt super calm, so calm in fact I felt this feeling was influenced by the force that was entering my room. It was like I quickly entered another mental state; going from beta to alpha in a 2 seconds (or a high brain state to a low one). However just to reiterate I was fully conscious, not asleep nor dreaming.

While lying there I hear the all too common footsteps approach again and pause at my doorway. I began to feel antsy. I feel the presence walk in, hear it even, as its feet pad gently on the carpet. For some reason it felt like it was my brother. I'm not sure why it felt familiar in that aspect but this made me feel less anxious. I knew it wasn't really my brother but I couldn't help but to feel calm. This is why I stated earlier I felt the "calm feeling" was the spirit influencing me for I could not control it. IT walks over and stands behind me and taps me two times. Since it felt like my brother, I replied "What?" aloud to see what "he" wanted. That is when I felt IT lean "into" me very slowly. It felt very dense and it was a little hard to breathe. My eyes were closed so I tell from the back of my eyelids that there was less light than before, as if its body was blocking the light from the hall. This surprised me because I had never encountered something so solid like a real human being. I still was not able to move but I started to feel less calm. I had to focus very hard and use my will to scare away the entity by saying "No" several times in my mind.

After that I'm not sure if it was my own ability or if IT had the ability to do so but I was transferred out of my body. I watched myself lying on the bed. Then I SAW IT. It was standing there looking at me (on the bed lying down, not spirit me). It was a solid male form; all black as if a man were wearing one of those full body suits they wear at college games. He was very 3D, not at all see through and he had no facial features. You could see a nose form and eye pocket indents like his face was covered in tight fabric. He was no longer leaning over me, just standing there staring. He appeared as if he was slightly curious though. After a couple seconds of being in a state of awe, then shock, then panic at the thought that I did not know how to get back into my body, I was able to return to my body and the entity was gone. I was able to open my eyes and move again. That is the only time I have ever seen an entity.

ATTEMPTING TO PIECE IT ALL TOGETHER

Ever since then, I have been trying to figure out the cause as I have several theories about what could have led to this occurrence. I have a suspicion that it may have been my male cousin dabbling in the occult. He was so arrogant that he didn't care to do spells or rituals properly. He claimed he was able to send parts of his soul to various areas in the form of a person he created. However I still think it is possible that it was another spirit as well. I also have a theory that my fear of the dark may have added fuel to the fire since that would provide energy for an entity to feed off of in addition all of the negative energy brewing in that household. Since the entity was so solid, I equated that with its strength level.

Since then, my house still has a creepy vibe, but I have not heard of any more occurrences taking place. My female cousin and I have been in college for the past 3-4 years so we are not there enough to add our energy to the space. I knew it had to be the home because when I moved out, the activity didn't follow me. I am sensitive still and see glimpses of people from time to time and along with having empathetic-type experiences.

Even though I have these theories, none have led me to a concrete answer which is why I wanted to post my story. I have so many questions. Why did this "thing" feel like the presence of my brother this one time? What was it doing? Why was it so solid compared to the other "shadow people" we saw in the house that were so fleeting? Why did I project out of my body in the first place? Why did all activity cease after that? Why did no one else have a confrontation with this spirit?

It is always better to have an extra set of eyes for things that you can't see. After reading, if anyone has a clue to what happened or any information that may help, please comment! I would greatly appreciate it!