My Shadow Friend

This story is quite extensive; but I am being patient so I request politely that you are as well. I have quite an amount of information on the paranormal - but this is the one experience which has befuddled me for years. When I was 6 years old I lived in a 100 year old Victorian 3 story home in the (very) small village of Florenceville, New Brunswick, Canada. My father and I have always been quite close, but as a young child he was gone frequently on business. Being a kid - I missed him and would look foreward to the days he would come home. Even though I was young I remember this distinctively.

I was playing in my bedroom, drawing in cardboard boxes to make "homes" for my toys (I have a very vivid memory, mind you. This is all true and exactly as I remember.) From the hallway I heard my name being called in a man's voice. My father had been gone for some amount of weeks and I thought perhaps he had showed up at home to surprise me. (naive, I know). I was excited - and I ran out of my room to meet him. My bedroom was on the 2nd floor, and from the hallway outside my bedroom, I could look over a railing and see the entryway below. I looked over the railing (or rather - through the railing, being so short as I was) and below saw the figure of a man, standing silently. There was nothing significant about him, and I noticed immediately that he was not my father. In fact - he was not anything. Just a blackness... Contoured like a man... his, face? He had no face. Merely the outline of what a face would be... But blank. And just as dark. But I could tell - he looked up at me...

At that point I screamed and ran into my bedroom - my mother ran out of the kitchen and when she finally coaxed me out of my room there was nothing in the entry way.

I had dreams about that 'man' for years but it merely became a memory. Shortly after that particular incident my family moved from Florenceville to Moses Lake, Washington - so that my father wouldn't need to travel so often.

The next incident with the shadow - man was when I was about 8. I was sleeping in a bedroom which I shared with my younger sister - and woke up one night for no particular reason. At the time I was a very heavy sleeper (as opposed to now - I am an extremely light sleeper)... and it was surprising that I was awake. Something in the room felt - weird - as a child would think something was 'weird'. I sat up in my bed, and noticed immediately, at the end of the bed was the figure, his elbows leaned on the edge - "head" in "hands"... staring at me. I thought I was seeing something, until it cocked its head... Needless to say I hid under the covers - naeseous - until morning.

Nearly a year later, I was in my bedroom nearing night, getting ready for bed. I opened my closet door - and in the corner was the figure of the man, his knees held up to his chest in a very childish position. His head hidden in his arms. The next few weeks he began appearing subtly in my dreams... But I didn't see him again for quite some time.

In fact - I don't remember seeing him again for many years afterwards.

When I was 11 I moved from Moses Lake to my current location in Central Wisconsin (for the sake of safety I won't give the name of the city.) I didn't think too much about the shadow - man until I turned 14. That year I started to become very agitated out of nowhere. When I walked up the stairs from my basement, my heart would race for no apparent reason. My basement is finished and so not scary in any way... Nothing provoked these feelings in any way.

Out of the corner of my eye, during all times of the day I started seeing a darkness that was slightly unnerving. Being older - I figured I was imagining things and refused to connect the darkness to the shadow - man I had seen as a child.

I began waking up in the middle of the night - scared to death for what seemed like no reason. Of course you could associate this to some sort of mental illness or whatnot, I'm sure... But I have no other history of being distraught or what have you.

I was having panic attacks on a regular basis because I became so frustrated and scared of whatever seemed constantly around me.

After a year of this - there was an evening that really set everything up for me. It had been a few months since my last panic attack and thought everything was a - okay. I was laying in bed, unable to sleep - thinking about school or friends or whatever - when I heard a loud rattling noise. My dog (which sleeps in my bedroom with me) was laying on the bed next to me... And she woke up upon hearing the noise. Immediately I recognized the noise as being the beads hanging on my closet door handle. They were rattling violently, and when I looked in their direction - the noise stopped. The beads were moving ever so slightly but the door was completely closed. What I first noticed though was a black figure, in the shape of a man - looking at me. I admit - I was shaken - ... but upon seeing him face to face for the first time since childhood... I didn't feel terrified. In fact I became quite calm.

I should more thoroughly explain this man. When I see him, like I just said, I feel calm... But sometimes when I merely catch him out of the corner of my eye I feel slightly uneasy. His full - bodied appearances are sometimes accompanied by slight tapping noises but since the bead night nothing quite so loud has ever been heard. When I look at him, he does not immediately disappear. He appears to be dark - but since I usually see him in darkness I recognize that he is not only black but is a void of all light. Darker than the dark that surrounds him. Like a black hole with a body.

There are countless other instances I could record, and if you have any interest in it I could share others. But for now there are a couple other points I'd like to make so you fully understand his nature... Or perhaps can help me to understand.

If I am feeling uneasy, when he's around I feel calm. Sometimes though, when I think too much about what he REALLY might be, I get frightened. I don't know his intentions... If I'm just crazy... If he's some sort of evil who is trying to trick me or just something that needs help. The fact that he's followed me from Canada, to Washington to Wisconsin is a bit unnerving. I didn't think spirits could tag along with a person? I've heard of possessions but I wouldn't even consider this as one.

When I become uneasy about his presence I have told him so. In fact on several occasions I have made his presence known aloud - speaking to him, saying hello... Or at times yelling at him to go away and leave me alone. Usually he doesn't... but sometimes he seems deterred and will leave for long periods of time (sometimes weeks or months).

My long time boyfriend is a partial believer in the paranormal, and certainly open minded. I have told him all the details of my shadow - man and he seems quite interested but thinks maybe it's "all in my head". At one point, he challenged him... Trying to provoke him to show himself.

A week later my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night. Stating that he awoke with a start - and as he looked towards his door, what seemed to be a cat - void of light - was at the foot of his bed. He described it with the exact same qualities of my shadow - man. This cat apparently leapt from the floor, claws out towards my boyfriend... As if it were trying to claw at his face. It disappeared before it made contact.

Whenever my boyfriend spends the night... There are occasions where Shadow (as we now call him) will show up. I have felt emotions from Shadow... Usually curiosity (when it's just me) or calmness... Or sadness.

But when my boyfriend is around I feel intense jealousy and anger... The only times I'm ever afraid of his presence

I need some opinions... Or some stories from anyone who has had a similar experience.

Can spirits (or whatever he is) be intelligent enough to have varying emotions? Is he maybe jealous of my boyfriend? My boyfriend thinks he may have a liking for me... Since he's been with me for nearly 11 years. Is this possible? Any experts out there?

Does this sound like a good or bad entity? What should I do?

I haven't seen him in a few months - the last time I saw him my boyfriend was with me, and I 'told him off'.

I hate to admit it but I kind of miss his presence, don't know whether to call him back or leave it be. Could he possibly need me for something? Should I be afraid or flattered?

Thank you for spending so much time reading all 8670 words to this story. I appreciate it greatly, any help would be fantastic. I'll post further stories (about unrelated ghost stories) at a later time.