I suppose I will start my story when I was 7 I lived in a country town in New Zealand called Carta ton. This is not were it all started but I think it was when the seed was planted.
THE SEED: when I was seven I felt as though I had to sleep a certain way sort of like "showing off" sleeping in very uncomfortable positions in order to look "cute" because it was like some one was watching me.
2006: By now I'm 16 and living in Sydney Australia. After my parents divorced I moved in with my mum and her new fiancé in a small 2 bedroom unit.
Trying to think back I can't exactly remember when it started but I think it had something to do with mum bring me home a giant mirror for my room which she found. The room started to get so cold compared to the whole unit and mould started growing all on the ceiling. I started sensing "someone" in there all the time and it was as though that "someone" was getting more violent and aggressive as what seemed to be as little as days or a couple of weeks at the most. I ended up sleeping on our couch every night. I hardly went in to my room, only to open the window to let some of the smell out or turn on the heater hoping it would clear up the mould.
2007: I think the "someone" follows me now where ever I go. When it never use to. One night I was staying at my partner's house and I woke up in a haze choking the room felt cold but I knew it wasn't, as soon as I was fully awake I could breathe properly and the room was the temperature it should have been.
2008 CHRISTMAS TIME: I was in my partner's kitchen doing the dishes with my back facing the door way (it's a tiny kitchen). I thought I felt my boyfriend stand in the door (like when you know someone is standing behind you i.e. At the bank) I turned around but no one was there yet the feeling like some one was still lingered. I was too scared to turn my back on to the door way again so I stood perpendicular to the sink so I could see out of the corner of my eye if someone was there. I carried on doing the dishes for a minute or so when my focus was directed at a smudge of food on the plate. As soon as I took my vision away from the door way I felt as if that "someone" charged at me, I screamed (not a huge one but one out of shock) and splashed hot water all over me. Boy did that make my heart miss a beat.
PRESENT 10.02.2009: I have moved and moved some more but its ALOT worse now.
I feel the "violent someone" every where I go. I even feel it at my work when I'm by myself. I partly live with a flat mate and at my partners' house. When ever I am alone at my house it's as if it's trying to hurt me, scare me; I am scared. I will be at home by myself and I'm so scared I want to run out of the house. There is no noise, nothing moves, I can't see anything but my whole body can feel it. My body pulsates. It's so hard to explain but pure fear.
Yesterday I felt it even though I was with my flat mate which is a first; usually the ora of a person will drown it out.
I'm at my wits end now. I'm tired of being scared every time I'm alone because I use to love having my alone time to relax.
Last night I thought that I absolutely have to see a shrink or something.
If anybody who reads this thinks they can help me please contact me PLEASE. I'm not sure if you guys know what pure fear feels like... It's unbearable.
PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT TO HELP
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