Lingering And Confusing Paranormal Experiences

My initial story with the paranormal begins in New Orleans, Louisiana where I was born and raised. The family dynamic is fairly typical... White trash upbringing with a much too young mother from a dysfunctional family of her own which gave her little guidance on how to make appropriate choices in life. So, this story takes place during my time with my mother and her poorly chosen husband number 2 and we were are all living in their match box sized home in a neighborhood full of other like "family" dramas.

Now, husband number 2 was an unsavory character that you do not want your daughter marrying and you really do not want your grand daughter left alone with him. This is a deep south, backwaters sort of character that drank too much on a regular basis and like to thrash a beating every now and then among other things and then there is mother who is at a stage in her life when any man "will do" as long as there is a man around... Regardless of what he does to amuse himself in the home. She has a man and that makes her a "somebody".

So, given the aforementioned, unstable mother, the stepfather that hell spit up and a small girl child spending every waking hour terrified except for the few precious hours at school when life was safe for a little while each day. When you add up all this negative energy in one small older home... I guess it's only logical that other energies, let's call them "non living in the physical sense" negative energies are bound to be drawn to energies like their own.

My earliest memories in the house that hell built was my name being called by several voices at the same time and they were whispering but easily heard. This was frightening and confusing at the same time... But not as scary as my mother's husband so the voices were simply designated as disturbing in my mind but harmless in the grand scheme of all that was going on in the house.

The next issue was small items hitting me in the back (not hard) but noticeably coming across the room and hitting my back when I was in the house alone. This was more concerning than the noises, but again, not as bad as dealing with the home life at hand... And since I did not want to invite any focused attention from either parent, I did not talk about these incidences.

Then, one night, all paranormal activity went for a full on "look at me" showing so it could not be ignored. In grade school, I would typically get a book from the library each week so I would have plenty to read to escape the house of horrors as much as possible through reading stories about Madame Curie or Eleanor Roosevelt, any book about women who seem to make their own way through life with some sort of independence.

So, my mom and husband - 2 were asleep (thank you God for small blessings) and I was alone in the living room reading one of my books when I got that feeling I was not alone. I looked up toward the hallway and a "not quite solid" man with really large eyes and bushy blondish hair with a T-Shirt and shorts on was looking at me... Sort of like it was trying to figure out what I was doing there. My mouth opened... But no scream, I was frozen with my mouth wide open but no sound was getting out...So, this... Thing casually turned and walked down the hall into the bathroom. I turned my eyes back toward my book and stared at the page... Not reading... Just having my own little personal freak out not sure what to do... I was thinking that I cannot tell my mom about this because why would she believe this and anyway, I was still frozen to that couch I was pretty sure if I averted my eyes back up, I think that "thing" was standing in the hallway again... I looked up and oh God... It was still in the bathroom, but just kind of hanging its head out just beyond the door frame with just his head, his big eyes and his hands wrapped around the frame of the door peering at me like it was freaked out that I was still in the house...Well, now I was losing my mind, I opened my mouth and I found my voice and I screamed my head off as loud as I could manage and then this thing literally jumped in the air, landed just above the carpet running in mid-air down the hallway and ran right through the hall coat closet... I was still screaming as I saw it run through a door!

My mom and husband come running out of their room and I started telling them everything right away... They do not believe me and told me to go to sleep... And they went back to their room laughing at me until I heard their door shut.

I did not talk about it again and did not see the "man" again but our next door neighbor (an old lady) mentioned to me after some time passed one day that her husband died shortly before we moved in our house and he often visited her in spirit form to which I politely nodded in acknowledgment and mumbled something like "that is so sweet". So, I figured that must have been him that I saw running up and down the hall and maybe he was lost and confused.

Mom's husband got drunk (as usual) one night and ran himself off the road into a tree and thankfully left planet earth and was no longer able to torment me... YAY! So, at the funeral, everyone was crying about this jerk and I was thinking in my mind, that if I could get away with it, I would totally dance a jig on his grave! So, we were in his home town in Louisiana at the family cemetery out in the woods and let's just call it "Deliverance Country" and everyone walked back to his parent's house but I stayed behind... Maybe I would dance that jig after all.

His grave was dug, the casket was lowered and the mound of dirt was on the side for the cemetery caretakers to come back and handle later. I was staring at this casket and taking in the new freedom my life was about to enter and I thinking "Does this man know that his life meant nothing to this world? He was a bad husband. He was treacherous stepfather that no little girl should have to endure. He left this world a worse place than it was before he was birthed on scene... Where do bad souls go when they pass? As I was thinking these thoughts... A huge black stray dog came out of the woods and towards me and I love animals... I have several pet rescues now as an adult... And this man in the casket was abusive to the animals I brought home as a child. I was happy to see this dog; I thought it is going to be nice to have animals around the house that he could not hurt. This big black dog trotted directly towards me and stopped short of the casket... He walked right along side the hole in the ground, hiked his leg and took a nice long wizz right on the casket and I thought... That is such a fitting send off for this pitiful waste of precious life this man had been given... So wasted... So unappreciated... An absolute failure at the test we are all given... This is your life... What will you do to honor this gift?

I continued to have paranormal experiences in every house I lived in so for me, it is not the places I live that are haunted; I think it is me... I honestly do not know what these beings on the other side of the reflection of my life want with us but I do know that coming from a childhood where I was trapped in a hellish environment that freedom is a blessing and a life of freedom should be cherished and enjoyed and shared with only those that value and respect life in the same manner you honor life.

I can say that at times, these paranormal experiences seem to indicate a warning. For example, in my 20's, I chose a man poorly. I was still a mirror image of my white trash upbringing and allowing controlling men in my life. I had not become clear on "who I am" yet. This was one of those men that were over obsessive (if I cannot have you, no one can...). Well, one night when he was staying over and was upset about some guy who looked at me too long at a dinner party, I went to sleep and he was still up in the living room. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was alone in the bedroom. I woke up because there was a really strong smell of oranges in the room... As if I had oranges on my nose. When I opened my eyes, my face was facing the wall away from the bedroom door and I saw a tall, at least 10 feet tall black figure shaped like a man with black wings just facing me and I closed my eyes tight and opened them again and it was still there. I slowly turned my head toward the door thinking "What happens if I bolt out of this bed and make a run for the door?". However, when I rolled my head sideways and looked at the bedroom door, I noticed my "boyfriend" standing right next to the bed looking at me with this catatonic like facial expression. I gasped because it was like he just appeared there and I said in a low voice... "Hey, do you see that over there" pointing to the other side of the room... And when I looked back at my boyfriend, he still had that weird face on him and he just turned and walked out of the room... This was about 3AM. I looked back at the black figure in the room and pulled my covers over my head and started praying because I thought I was going to die one way or another... Unbelievably, I fell asleep and woke up the next morning and my boyfriend was out of the house at an appointment.

I called some people over and had his things removed and I moved out immediately and literally left the state within a week... My boyfriend went to see a therapist and told her some disturbing things and so the therapist called me while I was packing up the house and said my boyfriend gave her my number and asked her to get me to come see him at therapy so we could work things out and I said "no way" and she said "good"...and if you see him again..."run"... I still wonder to this day what that big black winged shape was in my room that night... And what was that really strong orange smell?

There is so much we do not know and cannot explain. Sometimes I feel like an ant in one of the ant piles in my yard. They have no clue who I am when I am staring down at them watching them make their little town just like I do not know what these "beings" are that cruise by my little life sometimes. Some kind of look in on me, like I look at the ants in my yard and just pass on through without any trouble... And some kick up the dirt and mess up the house because "they can" and some put me back on track... Like when I find a stray ant in my kitchen that strayed in from the back yard... I scoop him up and put him on the back deck and tell him to go back to his friends.

Choose good companions on this life trip. Be good to others and be good to yourself. If you pick up a bad companion, drop them back off where you found them and do not look back. Your soul jumped into a vehicle (you call this vehicle your body) and this body allows you to tour planet earth on this journey you call your life. This journey can be a good trip or a bad trip. It is up to you and based on the choices you make. You cannot control your childhood but you can choose your life as an adult.

You are not the product of your environment unless you want that to be who you are in this life. You are the reflection of your thoughts -- so choose your thoughts carefully.